Wednesday, November 3, 2004
My Old Friend
'My Old Friend' is actually a song on Tim McGraw's latest cd talks about what's really important laughter and tears and ol memories of a friend who's gone i have an ol friend who's dying of cancer we clashed monday night i haven't heard from him since i've only known him a short time, but he's a wonderful man but what do i know about dying my life continues on while he suffers from his cancer what do i know what to say to him really? does anyone know? i had know idea how difficult it is to deal with a dying man til i met my ol friend. i carry hope for him, but is that enough? is it right to do so? am i ignoring the inevitable and making it worse for him? i'm lost for words, for right action towards him. i miss him. nothing will take away the time we've had together nothing will replace him my ol friend....
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Having lived through the year long death of my father-in-law (cancer), I can sympathize. My advice is to forget the fight you had, and realize that he will not be himself much of the time as this disease progresses. To hold out hope is ok, but don't really expect too much. Value what time you have left with him, whether an hour or a year. When my father-in-law was in the early stages, he was going for dialysis twice a week and had lost the use of his hands. On the way back from one of his treatments, he mentioned how much he missed ice cream. I asked if he was allowed to have it, and he said no. I asked if he cared about the rule, and he said "hell no"! I got him an ice cream, and had to hold the cone for him. It will always be the moment we were closest. Don't get me wrong though, ice cream was a very minor no-no. It's been 20 years since he passed, and I'm still glad I did it. Look for silly little things like that for your friend. Maybe it will help.
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