Sunday, July 31, 2005


but isn't this how it goes when a teen lives with you?   i called Kyle and asked him to be on the road by 10pm   it is for His Safety   New Mexico is one of the worse states for drunken drivers   i don't even allow myself to be out after certain hours of the nite and i want him home by 2am    i've driven towork at 6:30am or so and come across drunk drivers weaving across the roads in front of me   this doesn't include the numerous headon collisions that happen here because of drunk drivers...anyways, think i'll be awake for a little while   i hope my book relaxes me enough that i can sleep....more gray hairs to come!

Batman Begins

i just finished watchin' this movie   it's damn good   best Batman movie yet  and some awesome scenery in it as well   i highly recommend it....anyways, it's been a good day thus far  i've only done the movie, lol    i wasn't ready to dive into house & yard work so i went to the first showing   i had to ride the bus to & fro the mall but it was well worth the trip   in a moment i'll be dong my chores then diving into a book tonite   a fellow j-lander is reading the latest Harry Potter book, so on that note i'm going to dive into the first 4 that i have   i'm ready for something lite and adventerous  i could tell the other day i need to curl up to a good book, but today talking with my sister momentarily i was reminded i'm overdue   on occasion childhood wounds arise and my heart is very tender  although better, it still hurts a bit and the book will soothe my pain  there are such wonderful things one can do for healing purposes and for me they are the simplist things for me   and today i've been inside in the air too   very relaxing for my body i should say  a couple more weeks and the weather should cool down permanently leading into fall   it ususally does around mid-august here   i love Fall and Winter my favorite seasons   with the fall arriving around the corner, so will the Balloon Fiesta as well    this fall i hope it has some great treasures for me in store   one will be due in 2-4weeks   i'll let you know when it arrives....take care all.....laterz

Saturday, July 30, 2005

it's a good thing

i woke at noon today after falling asleep very late    i was totally wiped out  it must have been the sleeping pill    so my nephew and i had some time together today   i paid some bills, then we did a little shopping   i also found some money so he could go ahead to Ft Bliss (El Paso,TX) to see his fiance   he left this evening and will return tomorrow evening   it means i'm without a car, but that's ok   hopefully soon his bonus from the Army will arrive and he can get his own car   i don't know fully what some of the negative views have on my nephew, but he's really a good kid   sometimes in the morn he just comes over and gives me a mornin hug   he plays around and we laugh a lot together   he has initiative and is willing to help out  today while grocery shopping, i went to pick up the 52lb bag of dog food only for him to tell me to grab the cart that he would get the bag  granted he has more to learn as we all do, but hey my family has him all wrong as far as i'm concerned   i also know we're not all perfect and maybe they just have to much criticism and judgment on him   well they need to take a hike!   of course i'm far liberal than my family and don't expect everyone to walk a straight line, which no one ever can anyways    i'm really enjoying my nephew much and getting a bit more attached to him    he already has planned that he, his fiance and i are going to Oregon within a couple years to see my brother and his son   i've been getting the feeling Kyle is really getting attached to me  i really like that yet it's new to me as well   really nice warm fuzzies though    when he does move to TX with his fiance, i'm going to miss him    he has all these plans for me and his 'family' to be    this relationship is a very good thing...for both of us:-)   

Friday, July 29, 2005

ok a short note...

my neighbor isn't here at the moment   he was for a few moments   i've just learned not only does he drink, he's doin drugs   i have ZERO TOLERANCE for drugs   my sister and boyfriend did drugs when i was a teen, he gave me a black eye   that's all i'm going to say   New plan in associating with this guy is in effect immediately    i hate drugs and i hate drugs and alcohol mixed even worse   now i wish i was a cop!     don't worry, i'm wiser and older now   i'll be safe and i never hesitate to call the cops myself!   more manana.....

beat up....

from the heat again   temperatures rose again today and i feel like a mac truck hit me today   i'm praying that it cools down nephew says he's going to find me a boyfriend  he'll be 25   i said NO WAY!  LOL   he has to be at least 30 if i'm going to do the Demi-Ashton thing......that's about all the news today except i'm learning more and more about this neighbor of mine    more later on him......i'm too tired to write anything else tonite    have a good one...

Thursday, July 28, 2005


i like the cologne better than the guy i ran into today   i had to deliver mail to TD's Show Club today, a strip joint i believe   usually i'm there when they're closed, but today was the first time it was operating   i go in there and it's pitch black with a few spotlights   all i'm trying to do is find the counter so i can drop the mail and haul a$$ out of there   well i hear someone try and say something only to turn and there's this guy in a black shirt, to match the darkness and he has an attitude   he looked and acted like a guy from the mafia  i gave him the mail and left  on the way out i'm thinking 'what do you think i'm going to do, sit and entertain myself?'   p-l-e-a-s-e!  i wouldn't even think about doing that   this guy was sooo big it'd taken at least 6 cops to bring him down   and do these guys have any brains?  or are they just braun?   anyways, it was a reminder of the truly bad guys in this world and the places that feed their attitudes...if only we could shut those places down!....otherwise, it was a good day at work...

Wednesday, July 27, 2005

this is a test

this is a story i wrote a fellow j-lander who's experiencing tremendous physical pain at the moment and the loss of her dog    thought i'd share it with you at her (Marti) suggestion    should i share more of my previous adventures?

thought i'd write a brief story of my first backpacking trip into the Cascade Mountains located in Washington State    actually to this day, it is my only backpacking trip in my life, but i hope to remedy that in the near future .....well here i am in Spokane, WA living with my friend Cindy   she loves nature and decides to show me the North Cascades Highway not to far from the Canandian border   she also decides to take me on my first backpacking trip   now i can't remember if we hiked 5hrs or 5miles up to the top of the mountains, could be both    hiking in the mountains is sooo beautiful among the pines, the waterfalls, the clear air and all of wildlife out there   when hiking in in those high mtns, there comes a time when there are no more trees and you have nothing but mountain rocks   it's barren, rugged and i understand why the mountain goats live up there ...which we did see climbing around once on top of the mountain   and once on top we pitched a tent and spent the nite   the view was immaculate, awesome, just out of this world so to speak   we could see mountain tops for miles on end   endless actually   i only wanted to hike in further   there is nothing but you, like a small ant, next to this humongous mountain   it puts you in your place and life in perspective   Nature is Bigger than you   Nature is Bigger than us   all the great things we do here in our small cities seem so limited to the Grand of Nature    it's so serene, quiet, infinity in the mountains   i know you know this Marti as much as you love the oceans and mountains too   our hike was breath taking   i feel that what is in Nature is truly God's Soul and that also lies within us....if the hurricanes have subsided, take a walk by the ocean to heal your grief   Nature, God, will heal you, ...and remember Love , all that Love your dog gave you....with each new day, the sun shines brightly, the wind is at your back, the birds sing their glorius song and you will soon be back...   Love kbear

What's your Power Color?

Your Power Color Is Teal
At Your Highest:

You feel accomplished and optimistic about the future.

At Your Lowest:

You feel in a slump and lack creativity.

In Love:

You tend to be many people's ideal partner.

How You're Attractive:

You make people feel confident and accepted.

Your Eternal Question:

"What Impression Am I Giving?"


another day home...

well i'm home again today   although i can't really afford not going to work, i'm doing it anyways   Thanks Jude and Lori for reminding me to take care of myself   i'm feeling better today, but not ready for the struggles of work   today i'm giving me some therapy by doing some projects around the house and some cleaning   it'll be good for me   i'm looking forward to the day....well i'm not sure what the next story shall be, my adventure window shopping or the bad news with Nicole, my nephew's fiance...i'll start with the window shopping...i went to the mall first going to Abercrombie   they had one T i liked which said "Feeling Dirty" with dirt painted on the shirt   of course this was really a sexual inuendo(sp?) for all the other surrounding Ts were just that   won't buy it for it cost $30-too expensive in my opinion   well the sexual suggestions would not have bothered me if my neighbor had not propositioned me before i left for the mall   he asked if i swing   at first i really didn't know what he was talking about but then came his next comment   i was thinking initially like a swing set children play on   sex is the last thing on my mind if it 's on my mind at all   well he was drunk and i hope he doesn't remember but if he does i'll definitely set him straight on that issue   i wasn't sure he was drunk when he came to fix my sink because i didn't smell liquor initially   but alas just before he left i did smell the beer....anyways, back to the after Abercrombie i went to American Eagle and The Buckle   found a few nice shirts, but no new cliche   so i'm sticking with No Fear and i did find my No Fear baja shirt (not poncho) which i was wondering where it was   i even wore it to the mall for it had cooled off a bit and the air conditioning was cool for me as well   the time in the mall lifted my Spirit and i came home without walking the whole mall   i accomplished what i set out to do...once home, Kyle let me know some bad news   Nicole, his fiance, was bleeding again and they might have to take the baby    when i woke this morning, i learned that she did lose the baby   i was disappointed but i'm sure not as much as the 2 of them are   my question is why couldn't they have done something else for her to try and save the baby?   the doc said her body might have been rejecting the child, but this made no sense to me   but i've never been pregnant and really don't know how the body works during pregnancy   anyways, Kyle said he did get Nicole's Spirit up a bit last nite once she called   the 2 of them were really excited about having the baby   i had already bought a crotched blanket for the baby   but they will try again    i know they will have their baby one day and they're in my prayers....

Tuesday, July 26, 2005

goin' shoppin'

well this evening, i'm going shoppin'...for a new 'Tude   today didn't work out as i'd like   i got up, got dressed for work and took my nephew to work all ready to head onto my job, but i remembered i needed to make a very important phone call and came home for the number   i was still sleepy as hell, but got on the internet and it woke me up slowly but surely   so anyways, i make my phone call and sit down to relax a bit before headed for the tough work day   while sitting tears began flowing, just my depression, and i said Nope not today to work   so i call in, but they call me and i think showed up at my door step needing me to work   i layed in bed pretending not to hear them realizing i can't win with work whether i go there or not   it's tough going to work depressed and then if i don't go, i feel guilty sometimes for not making it   it's a no win cylce   it's definitely time to retire   it's work just to get to work and keep going there, no wonder i need a new attitude to keep me going   so i've decided to go window shoppin to see if there are some new cliches out there i might be able to use    if i don't find one, i may use 'No Fear' as my new motto  it puts me into an adventerous feeling and maybe that's all i need to tackle the job and the world again  and with my nephew maybe i can pick up something from him and his friends   which just reminds me   where is my 'No Fear' poncho some young guy gave me   i need to look for it! i'm off to look for it while waiting for my nephew to finish his phone call   he' going to hang out with me at the mall   i also got out the chess set   i haven't played in about 20yrs so he'll probably beat my butt, but hey, it'll be fun!   off for my new 'Tude!

Monday, July 25, 2005

twas the nite

last nite it was 'The Chronicles of Riddick', tonite it is Stargate SG-1 and Battlestar Galatica   each in its own realm taking me away , taking my mind away from my reality in life   it's a great escape  pure entertainment with no thinking required   that's the type of entertainment i like nowadays if i'm not reading a book   and i did start a new book relating to spirituality   thought it might answer some questions for me regarding my struggle with my journey there    not sure it will, but not sure it won't either   it has given me a hint already, or maybe it's a reminder to live with your heart   anyways, i'm anxious to read thru it all or until i see it's not leading me to where i desire to be, whatever that is    nowadays i'm so anxious to retire, i can think of nothing else   today i'm thinking i must get back to the reality of work, for retirement hasn't been approved yet  paperwork still being processed  but i was thinking maybe i'm not living each day to the fullest, or maybe i'm just living them differently nowadays   that's more like it ...maybe i should put on a new 'tude   i'll think of something   today was a blue day anyways, so may my Spirit be lifted tomorrow   there are better days ahead....

the Saturday Six

1. Who was your first best friend?  How old were you when you two met?  Are you still in regular contact with each other?   my first best friend was Avril   we met in 5th grade, about 11yrs old   we are still in contact with each other but just once a year at Christmas   this year as i return to the midwest i plan on seeing her again after 20yrs or so...

2. Other than the "Saturday Six," what weekly or daily memes do you play most often?  (Please give a link to that journal.)none yet  

3. Which of the following likely has the bigger mess underneath it:  your stove, your refrigerator, your couch or your bed?  i'd say that's a tie between my bed and the couch   that's where all the dog hairs go as well as all the dog toys end up

4. Take
this quiz:  How long does MSN think you'll live?  Then take this one:  How long does Blogthings think you'll live?  MSN thinks i'll live til 102...Blogthings, 79...averaged out = 90

5. Do either or both of these motivate you to make any changes in your lifestyle?   no not really   there's not much more i could do except stop smoking   i'll work on that

6. Name five things you would like to do by December 31, 2005.      retire, visit family, return to school, go to the Grand Canyon again, be debt free


Sunday, July 24, 2005

Congrats Lance!

Way to Go Lance!   his seventh straight Tour de France title   what an awesome feat   i was hoping he could do it, but you never know what surprises may come during the race  good luck with your future Lance.....well i sit this morn with my coffee wondering what my future will be  yesterday i was asking myself where my place in life really is    the question arose before but i haven't really contemplated it   definitely will give it some thought now  for the moment life is with the p.o., but i'd rather be doing something else a little more worthwhile  the job has fullfilled its purpose and now i'm ready for a new challenge or something   i'm ready for a new life but it must be filled with more people this time around   i spend a lot of time alone, not intentionally but it happens   as a postal letter carrier you're out on the route all day by yourself seeing people on occasion  then i come home and just chill for the evening reading, journaling, listening to music or watchin a tidbit of tv   my activities i enjoy for fun only require myself in doing them unless i can find someone to enjoy them with me like hiking, photography, camping and such   i must remind myself it's been a very long journey dealing with my illness, mostly by myself   well maybe all by myself   i miss being with people but don't know yet where i'll be hooking up with them   i may get more involved with church, but i do plan to work for the DAV (disabled american veterans) which i will get contact with people regularly   my therapist and psychriatrist are always concerned with me spending so much time alone   i understand that, but my life the last decade has been alone  also in part, i just haven't met the right people to socialize with   i know that time will come, but sometimes it isn't soon enough    i'll find my place in life  i'm looking forward to the journey   one step at a time, one leg at a time....Life is still Good

Saturday, July 23, 2005


i just completed watching the 'Into the West' series   i think it gave me a tidbit more insight into those times    what history we have   immediately following the series, our station was showing "The Color Purple"    i had enough history for one night, but i was reminded that my geneanology(sp?) came in from my grandfather who is part Cherokee   there wasn't a lot to the material and it confused me   i've always thought my grandfather to be Cherokee with some part Choctaw in him    now his father listed, his surname Goins (as mine), was an irishman    now either grandfather is half Cherokee or his father adopted him when he wed my grandfather's mother, full-blooded Cherokee   i must contact a distant relative to get clarification on this  either way there's still a lot of history and family linearage to be discovered   after the series, i'm anxious to get started asap, but really don't know how soon i'll begin the research   plus i don't know how far i will really get    once i hear about my retirement with the p.o. , i'll know how soon i can begin on some of the research   if i don't have to work once i retire, i'll start the research in the near future, if not i'll postpone it until i get school completed or do it in between classes  maybe my sister will want to help   all in the meantime, hurry up retirement....

finally....i nice cold one

well i made it to work today after all    as i drove to work i began fuming again and wondered if it was a good idea to be there   so i called Suzanne and let her know if D (the forementioned supervisor) harassed me today, i was leaving & going home   Suzanne informed me she was being spoken to by my Union Steward as we spoke   i did call him last nite and gave him a heads up on the event  D didn't bother me today and i stayed clear of her   she only spoke to me this evening for a moment thinking she was going to need to send me out to assist another carrier    it was a good thing for i was fumin' off and on today   tomorrow i'm off so it'll give me more time to chill over this, but i won't forget this again   i'm ready to tell her to cram it up her a$$ if now i'm finally having that cold beer    i didn't have it last nite because i forgot i needed to pick up my nephew from his new job   he began working at American Eagle Outfitters   his first job wasn't working out for him so he applied at other places and got hired here within a couple days   i think this is ideal for him with his love of clothes and being a teenager   good place for him to get started with his life   ...and it's not that i don't drink and drive   i don't drink and drive on an empty stomach   if i don't eat with my liquor, i'm intoxicated on one beer because of my meds   i only do one drink when i do drink, but don't like to be drunk anytime   never have   been there, done that once   that was's a nice cold one and evening to relax and watch the final episode of 'Into the West'   this has been a very good series   i hope it comes out on dvd it's a very nice chillin' evening...

Friday, July 22, 2005


mood = furioius....well my day at work started out not so good, but it ended with an explosive brief argument with a supervisor tonite...i came in off the street and the floor supervisor jumped my case   she asked a question and i told her to talk to another supervisor   she' didn't like that answer   i informed her i wouldn't tell her and talk to Suzanne, the other supervisor  (for this involved my illness)   this supervisor continued going off on me   i started going off on her, but decided to walk out on her   i hadn't even gotten clocked back in off the street properly nor turn my stuff in, accountables like certified mail, keys, gas card, etc.   i ended tour and told her to put away my stuff    my stuff being mail brought from the street not deliverable and the outgoing mail   i was not going to stay there and listen to that    i didn't deserve it and if we can't talk adult about things, i walk away    she was still going off on me as i walked out the door    i have all my accountables with me which is a negative, but.....i called Suzanne at home and told her about the i'm trying to chill out from the explosion....and now i don't desire to go to work tomorrow    i called Tjnya    i had to vent a little more and asked her to call me in the morn   someone's must talk me into goin' to work manana    i've been doing so well mostly with regard to work....i just don't need crap like this!......i'm havin a beer....

Thursday, July 21, 2005

i met a guy....

i met a guy tonite, but this wasn't the first time i had actually met him   i'll call him Romes for that was what he called himself initially   only a few days ago i discovered his true name   anyways,  it's been 6months or longer since the first and only time i saw him    i had forgotten who i was really talking with the past few days and went and met him tonite at his place   i've been having my reservations, but figured that would be with any guy   nothing personal, it's just been forever since really dating anyone   a few years now   anyhows, i meet him and he's been drinking and a gentleman he wasn't......i came home almost immediately and told my nephew to remind me not to go out with him again    there was a very brief moment in my life i thought it would be nice to have some fun and not get into a serious relationship with anyone   tonite i was reminded of who i am, and i just Can't, Won't, Refuse to lessen my standards   it's not me   call me old fashion, but i'd rather be old fashion with my values than someone's piece of art....there's someone out there for me   Russ hasn't been in touch so i've let him be and not contacted him...i have plenty of time to meet that special someone   i've lived alone now for over a decade and a little while longer is not going to hurt   besides, i have my nephew for company too....remind me to always listen to my instincts   i didn't before i went over to 'Romes', but i'm fine  no harm done....

tuckered out...

just back from a dog run   they're all tuckered out   either it's still too hot at 75degrees for them or they just plain ran themselves out    on the way over there i had 2 additional drivers   coming home they all layed in the back of the jeep panting heavily as they are now   but they're pretty damn good dogs   i noticed today that for the past few trips with them i haven't used the whistle but a rare time    they stay pretty close yet far enough for them to play   my kids are a blessing   i love 'em!...they chased a couple rabbits and some lizards today and was worn out before we even got back to the car   they were walking literally beside me which is unusual   once they saw the car they hauled butt to get there knowing water was waiting for them   Charlie even decided to jump up on the hood of the car this time while waiting for me   we lasted about 40mins out there today   on cooler days they can go for a much longer time    next time out i'll get them out really early in the morn   it was nice and cool when i went to my therapy session this morn   by the time i got home, it was 75   thought that would still be cool enough for them, but then again i've kept them inside with the air conditioning for a month now of temps of 95+    once it cools off, i'll take them more often   they love it so very much...

Wednesday, July 20, 2005

all quiet on the western front...

it's all quiet in my house, except for the dogs making their usual noise   this is the first nite in at least 2 weeks it's been quiet for me   and i really needed it tonite once home   i dropped Kyle off at the Roller King after work   he needs to burn some energy he has going and it allows me to truly chill and relax for a little bit....and thus far the neighbors haven't come knocking either:-)......god i was feelin the heat again today   had to stop and get the Gatorade on the way home   i had plenty of fluids and water, but that wasn't sufficient   summer time is Gatorade time for me  it definitely replenishes me during this heat   it got up to 99 degrees today, who knows maybe hotter   i really don't want to know if it was hotter, it'd hurt my psychic worse   clouds moved in over the mountains and i thought they were going to roll into town with some liquid sunshine, but no luck   it did cool off the temp a bit momentarily, but then the temps soared again   well fortunately as of this moment i'll be off work manana    unless they change their minds in the morn, i get a day break from the heat   and yep i'm staying in the air conditioning all day, except Maybe taking my dogs for a run early in the morn   i haven't been sleeping well, so it'll depend on when i rise in the morn    i'm looking forward to the day manana   chillin, sleepin, doing a project, chillin and did i mention chillin   even if i have to wear a sweatshirt tomorrow in the house i'm leaving the air on ALL day!   hmmm, maybe i'll take in a movie too    it's been awhile since having a day off during the week   i'm chillin.....i also got creative a tadbit today   i've been wanting to buy some sleeveless t-shirts lately  $5 at walmart   well my mind got creative today and remembered all the Ts i have here at home that i can just cut the sleeves off   so i did and will some more    i need all the air ventilating i can get   plus it gives me a chance to show off my tatts on my arms....Life is good at the moment.....quiet.....chillin'

Monday, July 18, 2005

knotted calves

i woke this morn with knots in my calves from the hike, but this kind of pain i don't mind   there were a few other muscles in my thighs that ached a bit too   it was all worth it   i forget that hiking uses different muscles than just regular walking   and today i swore my cardio was better while delivering my route   i had energy to burn    so for a lot of reasons i need to hike more often   i'm going to do my damnest to do was hot although it did seem a little cooler since it rained   but it was still hot enough to diminish my appetite  i have a hard time eating with this heat  on the way home i picked up a big mac, fries, and very large chocolate shake  the shake is the only thing i could do   i'm waiting for the nite to linger on before actually eating the meal   think if i buy more fried rice that will help also  i seem to be able to eat it no matter what the temp   delicious too....anyways,  just chillin for now   it was a long , very long day today   i'm ready for the week to be over with already it was so long   ....hope everyone has a great week....laterz

just a note

i wanted to comment on my nephew   i'm enjoying his company tremendously   when he first called and asked if he could come here, i wasn't sure what to expect in regards to him   my family is dysfunctional and i don't see them much   my nephew was basically raised by my mother and i know my mother   so i had no idea how he would turn out to be as a young man   i'm quite surprised and happy for he is a wonderful young man   he has his rebellious side, but he's his own person   i'm happy for that, very happy   we sat and chatted over pizza on friday nite about his childhood a bit   he has a good sense of himself and know he has caused problems at times   but this kid is really genuine   he has his problems with most of the family members, like i did at his age   but he's happy and know his direction(s) in life  that's all that's important   he told me i'm the only one in the family happy for him and Nicole gettting married  i told him not to worry about the family that he is to do what makes him happy  that's his decision, not theirs   i'm very happy he's here and that i've gotten to know him   i haven't agreed with all that my mother in raising him, but that's my mother   he's done well in spite of it all   he'll be in the area for 3more years and we look forward to doing more things together, site seeing, traveling, camping and such   his arrival has been a great thing for me too:-)....

Sunday, July 17, 2005


Yep Dona,  definitely enjoyed my day today in the mountains   it was invigorating as i wanted it to be   my nephew and i went, the neighbors backed out and we both were happy about that    we got up there about 2pm and hit the La Luz trail    i wanted a good hike today   i got it!  YEAH!!!  we hiked about 3hrs   in the midst of the hike we found a location where we could see rock climbers   that was really kewl too   we'd both love to do that sometime   maybe in the future   my nephew loves nature as much as i do  and i was extremely happy that my knee held up pretty damn good today   hardly needed the hiking cane   after the 3hr hike, we grabbed a bite to eat sitting out on the deck of the gift shop   drenched in sweat, the very cool breeze chilled us and we dawned our sweatshirts   the temp up there was fantastic  at least 10degrees cooler than the city with a very nice cool breeze   after lunch we headed out for a brief hike to the Rock House, now called the Kiwanis Cabin   it's stone rock and sits on the edge of the mountain with a fantastic view   Kyle got an idea for him and Nicole, his fiance, to get married up there   i like the idea  (i just found out late last week, they're not officially married yet)   anyways, when she comes to visit, he'll take her up there and ask her about it....after getting to the cabin, the storm started moving our way   rain, lightening, thunder & very dark clouds   it was a very good thing we put on our sweatshirts for now it was like a cold spring air, but it felt sooooooooooooooo gooooooooooooood!   as we headed down the mountain, it was raining and it stayed that way all the way home   we even heard weather warnings on the radio   the streets and road were flooded   monsoon season is here!  yay!   let's see how long it last   right now it is nice and cool   tomorrow is another day, but today is a great day   my Soul is rekindled  my Spirit is stronger  i have more strength to endure the journey ahead   all conditions permitting, next weekend we will do it again....

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

it's sunday morn   all is quiet except for my kids barking a bit, but that's normal around here   i was hoping to sleep in late after being out til midnight last nite   friday nite we didnt' make it to the movie, but we made it last nite   i was planning on seeing the latest Batman flick, but the neighbors wanted to get out last nite and so we went to the dollar movie  it was Lil Angel's birthday yesterday, turning 3, and i thought we'd see something she could watch like 'The Pacifier'   well her father, Justin, wanted to see this movie, 'Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy'   frankly i thought the movie sucked myself   there were a few comical lines in it, other than that it was a senseless movie with no plot really    i think it was made by the British with their sense of humor    i didn't get it   it was different, but i could have passed on this movie  and Justin actually fell asleep in the movie ...anyways, it was an interesting evening   the way Justin and my nephew Kyle carried on, i felt like it was over 20yrs ago when I was out & about with friends   i'm getting old   i need to call Cindy, someone closer to my age, actually a little older    i can't remember the last time i was with some rowdy people   it was different and a bit fun too   glad everyone enjoyed themselves   it made me realize my life has been turned upside down    i'm accustom to nice quiet times at home or at the movies, not wild crazy people    yep i'm old....anyways, Kyle's asleep and i'm enjoying a nice quiet moment in my house since over a week    today will be my day in the mountains despite having everyone go with me   i'll find a way to have my solitude and reflection time somehow, someway   and i'm praying it'll be at least 10degrees cooler in the is about change, but i wasn't expecting this...

Friday, July 15, 2005

!@#$% heat!

well Ms. Bitch has arrived today!  Me....i take the heat so long and then it's the hell with it all...the heat that is   when it sustains its temperatures as of late for a long period of time, i become Ms Bitch until it cools off for good   so unless monsoon season arrives very soon, it'll be another month before it'll cool off....there is a sign of hope lit right this very moment as the storm clouds and lightening gather over head   now it just needs to pour those buckets of rain!   these clouds have been moving in & out of here the past couple days with no water drenching from them dammit!   the heat just makes me miserable and literally sick as well   i'd rather take a day in the cold any day   once in the heat all day, i come into some nice air conditioning except for one thing  i'm drenched in sweat therfore i get cold faster   it is a no win situation  it just flat out sucks....@#$$% heat!....i'm going to chill in a movie theater tonight and freeze my butt off....

Thursday, July 14, 2005

another 'G' movie

and another hot day....the G movie is better than WWF...not sure i can get accustom to all this G tv   now i  have a slice of what parents go thru    it took me years to finally adjust to 'real' life, this is like going back in time   it's only temporary i must remind myself....well tomorrow is payday   yay!  and i've spent $50 at a garage sale that hasn't happened yet   one of my customers showed me their stuff for their sale   they sat aside about $50 of stuff for me   i did really good   i got a drill, a sander, electric staple gun, a camping stove, a camping heater, a radio all for 5 bucks a piece   i couldn't pass them up   i also picked up a few other items but i think i got a great deal on all of it   the good news is i came home to my pay stub and had the money to pay for it    i've cut my shopping to yard/garage sales but still spend quite a bit   there's sooo many good deals out here   ....well the clouds rolled in and it appeared as if it was going to pour down rain, but no such luck   hopefully it'll stay dry enough that i can tar my roof a bit from leaking   once i get the roof fixed i can redo my ceiling in my bedroom where it leaked this spring really bad   lots of home projects i'm looking forward to once retired   my neighbor will assist or actually do the work   i'll pay him a decent amount as well    once i remodel the house a bit, then i'm going shopping in the mountains for another home   it'll take a year or so, but it will be worth it   all in time everything will come together   in the meantime, i'm enjoying each day as it comes   today i chatted with Kyle a bit about going places within New Mexico   he's definitely all for it, so i'll invite them along probably for the majority of my trips   it'll be fun   i desire to revisit White Sands again and i have yet to get to Carlsbad Caverns which is in southern NM and near Nicole's fort   for now, i patiently wait for the next 2 months to unfold when i'll know about my VA disability and postal retirement   honestly, sometimes i'm impatient for it all    one day at time, one step at a time....Life is still good!

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

3 rules...

when Kyle arrived i told him there were 3 rules in my house:

1.Don't lose Charlie

2. follow rule #1

3. Don't lose Charlie

well this evening, Charlie escaped him this evening right after i got home   i actually started laughing but i knew Kyle would get him   he immediately jumped the fence too chasing Charlie   faster than i could ever be   now he really knows how Charlie is, the heartaches and headaches of my life is Charlie but i love him bunches...anyways, it hasn't rained yet but it has been threatening with dark cloud cover   humidity is still in the air hitting my joints painfully and my right wrist which i injured a dozen years ago rollerskating   i had to put a brace on it today   i know i'm getting older, but my body is falling apart like i'm old....well the event of the day, i got mooned today while delivering mail   i  haven't been moon since my 20s and forgot they even do those things   this was a kid about 12yrs old who did it, but i ignored him and pretended i didn't see him   he had a blast tho   first time ever on the job i've been mooned   you think you've seen it all and then you're reminded about all there is and then some   i really need my mountains now, lol    2 more days of work and i'll be there   it's been a pretty good week with all the exciting news   i told my nephew to make sure he buys his wife, mother to be, at least a single rose for becoming pregnant  it's a special occasion   just want to teach him a few things on how to be a loving husband and a better man   whatever i can think of while he's here   he didn't have a father figure while growing up   my mother raised him and his father disappeared before he was born i think   i hope one day he finds a father figure for himself   he would be really good for him i think   Tjnya raised her sons by herself and i applaud all women who raise their children single handlely, and men too   i've seen some great kids come out of single parents....anyways, i know Kyle will do just fine   i can tell he's a sensitive guy   i know me at his age still neededsome guidance my age i still need some guidance at times   anyways, life is good   the best is yet to come...

































Tuesday, July 12, 2005

mountains here i come!

what a day, although there wasn't much to it   i feel like i'm just sittin down for the evening at 10pm    the day was cooler with clouds covering the sun and a nice cool breeze   but then i think there was humidity as well for i was drenched in sweat for no real apparent reason  only humidity does that to me   occasionally it'll drop in here in New Mexico nephew got hired which is more great news and he said he'll be here at least another month   no the day round down, i made the decision to definitely get to the mountains this weekend, but i won't be alone   my mountain trips are for me to get away from it all and sometimes people too   for me to sit quietly on the edge of the mountain, reflect and just be   well i'm going this sunday for darn sure, but i'm taking the neighbors and Kyle and his wife if she makes it in this weekend   Lil Angel has been wanting to go to the mountains for a week or longer now and i had almost forgot to oblige her   plus they've never been to the top of Sandia Peak where i go all the time   my heart can't say no to a 3yr old little girl especially as much as i love my mountains wherever they be   i consider all  mountains in the USA MINE!  lol   anyways, i love to share them with anyone i can, so off we will all go on sunday provided weather permitting   well i'll go no matter what, and who knows they may also    my heart aches to get there   the time has arrived for another visit, but first i'll take my kids for their run in the early a.m.   for the last few weeks i've been awefully sentimental, emotional, sensitive, whatever in appreciating the blessings i have everyday   not sure what's creating this sensitivity level, but it actually feels good   a customer of mine was sharing a story about his wife and him today and i got all tearied eye just listening   they're getting older and life has somewhat just stopped for them   she's ailing and he's taking care of her   he commented on how beautiful she is still at 60 something yrs old or older   whatever their age   to me seems like genuine love is hard to find these days   i admire couples who can last a lifetime together   i'd just like a small slice of that    anyways, it was a good day again...

Monday, July 11, 2005

the news for today....

well two pieces of good news today for Kyle and Nicole   first, she will stay at Ft Bliss for the next 3yrs   now he'll stay here, get a job and wait on military housing or savings for an apartment, whichever comes first....second news of the day delivered this evening...she's pregnant!   it hasn't been confirmed my a doctor yet, but she took her own pregnancy test today and it was positive   i recommended they get confirmation before telling everyone   i also told him i was going to talk to the 2 of them and suggest they wait a little while before getting pregnant  you know so they could enjoy each other a little while before the additions   too late!  lol   i'm happy for them   they're both happy about the news   that just gives me more babies to spoil as a great aunt :-)   plus twins run in the family   so now we just wait & see what happens from here   i told them i was going to send them off for a honeymoon, now they don't need it (just kidding) ...anyways, Kyle already has an interview for a job tomorrow....and so this is family life i've been   anyways, i'm fine  Life unfolds as it will   i take it all in i'm learning he watches G rated tv   this is good news, but i'll still have to get my Law & Order shows, CSI shows ,sports and sci fi in from time to time....Life is Good:-)!

Sunday, July 10, 2005

he made it!

well my nephew, Kyle and his wife Nicole, finally  made it into town   yay!   she's a really nice girl   she basically dropped him off and headed back to Ft Bliss  but i will see her on weekends here   they don't know if she's suppose to be here at Ft Bliss or Korea   by wednesday this week they hope to know her destination   in the meantime, it looks as though Kyle will be staying with me for quite awhile   his intentions was to move to New Mexico anyways  so now he's here  it'll be great to have some family here   plus i informed him i'm not like the rest of family, which i am NOT   apparently some of the family wasn't too happy that these 2 got married   i told him they will get over it   it is not their decision on what makes him happy, it is his   they've only known each other a few months, but that's enough for them to know   they're young and who knows they may last 50+ yrs together   i hope they do   I'm happy for them both  Love marks it's own course on all of us...anyways, did i tell you folks that Kyle and I share the same birthday , Sep 14   i'm actually happy he's here  we can discover New Mexico together and the Grand Canyon when we get the chance   Show him the life i've been living which is discovering every corner i can   there's still so much for me to see here...anyways, i'm lookin forward to the company and adventures with someone other than myself    i started teaching how to grill food tonight   we bbq'd some chicken   this will be fun! dogs have done well tonight too   usually they're all over company but they seem to have calm down the past few visits with people   that makes me happy   they're such good dogs anyways but usually have reacted like Dino on Fred Flinstone   maybe my neighbors being over often has assisted them calming down   whatever it's easier to introduce them to new people.....well that's about it for this weekend    everyone have a good week ahead...take care

Saturday, July 9, 2005

Saturday Six

1. How many mirrors are there in your home?  If you could go for the rest of your life without ever looking in a mirror (but still know that you hadn't missed a button or that your hair was disarrayed, etc.) would you?
3 mirrors in my home....sure i could give up a mirror, But i know my hair
2. What online abbreviation annoys you the most and why? it really necessary for the network

3. What do you hate the most in this world?
hate is a four letter word = ignorance
4. You decide to go to your next high school reunion.  What do you anticipate would be the thing most people said about you behind your back?   look at her very short hair ...  is she gay?

5. You learn that because of some galactic mixup in fate itself, you must restart your life tomorrow in a new place.  You will emerge as a person with a unique past and won't seem out of the ordinary to those in the new place.  You will retain the experiences and memories of your past, but the people you are closest to will believe that you are dead and gone and you would be prohibited from contacting them.  Where would you go and why?
Nature of course   i can easily blend in there
6. What are you most passionate about in this moment of your life and why?   retirement.....that sums it up in one word

Your Harry Potter Alter Ego is...?

   I got this quiz from The Daily Snooze journal   i took it actually last month and revisited tonight after the movie   Albus Dumbledore was my answer:

Strong & powerful you admirably defend your world and your charges against those who would seek to harm them.  However, sometimes you can fail to do what you must because you care too much to cause suffering.

back with the link to this quiz in a second...

it was a fun test...try it if you'd like....

a new friend

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stonei think i have a new friend   lil' 3yr old Angel (Angelica)  the neighbor's youngest   her dad (and lil brother, 4yr old Christian) were fixin my couch tonight  we had to run to Home Depot for a correct size clamp, then he got started   i put on Harry Potter and the Scorcerer's Stone so the kids could watch   it's been so long since i've seen it, it was refreshing   ...anyways, they were here for a couple hours   once it was time to go home, Angel didn't want to go   she wanted to stay with me   so she stayed a little while longer until we coaxed her mother to come get her   she didn't want to go with her dad or Bubba   she was tired and i allowed her to sit in my lap & arms while watchin the movie   she stayed in my arms while dad did drilling which scared her  mom coming to get her was perfect timing for my kids were outside and they began shooting more fireworks off again   when is that going to ever stop!   it was a good evening and hopefully my futon couch will last another 7yrs, about the time my dogs will be gone   i won't buy any more living room furniture until these kids have gone to heaven   Charlie loves to go flying on the couch while playing tag up & down my small townhome   it's pure joy for me and Charlie while he plays   while all my kids play....well my nephew finally called after not showing last nite   i suppose he'll be here manana, sunday   if not, he'll get here whenever he does   no big deal to me   it'll be good to see him, but i know he's finally leading his own life which makes me happier than anything   i remember how so important it was for me when i joined the military and left home ....well hope all is well with everyone   you're in my thoughts and prayers....laterz

in London Times

i got this reading from The Daily Snooze journal    it's an article written by an Iranian, Amir Taheri who explains why the terrorist did/do the bombings   it was educational for me    thought you might like to read it     here's a direct link to the article,,1072-1684970,00.html


Friday, July 8, 2005


i sit   waiting  for my nephew & co to arrive   it's way past my bedtime and i'm not sure how much longer to wait up for them    initially they were to be here approximately 1pm this afternoon   2hrs later i called him and they were still in Las Cruces checkin' out the fort    i think he even mentioned they may not make it   he'd said he call  which he did   about 4:30pm this afternoon he said they'd probably be headed this way in a half an hour   they were in El Paso which borders the NM and Texas stateline    i don't know how long it is from El Paso to here so i added a couple hours to the 4 from Las Cruces   with that calculation and assuming they left at 5pm, they should be here   but no phone call yet   i called them moments ago only to get voice mail   i left a message...anyways, once i hit the sack nobody, i mean nobody can wake me for the first 2-4hrs of my sleep   not even my dogs barking   i learned this a few years back when my sister arrived in the middle of the night   i stayed up for as long as i could   they arrived within those critical hours for me and had to stay in their car til i did i don't know what to do dammit!   i'm suppose to work manana....a simple phone call will do.....anyways, i decided to begin reading one of those several books i bought awhile back    rediscovering that i have "Emerson's Essays", i opened it and read the intro & biographical notes    while reading that, i wondered if i'm studying the wrong subject (criminal justice)   my spiritual readings does enormous wonders for me   my Soul is sooo alive while doing so   Ralph Waldo Emerson's writings, poetic and philosophical, his thinking are some of the bases from which Science of Mind, religious science, my church are founded upon   just reading the intro and bio notes, my mind is ignited with questions, thoughts, ideas stimulating me into growing already again    there is intellect in life, but my spiritual journey always moves me beyond it   there is much to the unseen in life   that interconnectedness with all Life ....and God...and my Soul stirs...

another hot day-ugh

this heat is killin me, but i'll live.....ok this entry is really about my neighbors   the one's i mentioned in an earlier entry   they are being really neighborly and i'm not sure how to handle it yet   i'm accustom to being alone once home except for my kids   just comin in and chillin out    it's been probably a couple decades since having such neighbors   tonight i was home about 5mins and Justin comes over with a plate of food again  Melanie his wife sent it over   they've done it before, but i'm just not accustom to people doing for me in such small ways   ok i'm doin for them too, but it's been since i was in washington state since having people around me like this   not sure it's me, or what but i haven't experienced this hospitality in such a very long time  Tjnya did give some assistance recently, but that rarely happens with her or any of my friends   no problem, i'm accustom to that   what i'm getting from these neighbors reminds me of country or southern hospitality   i don't see much of that out west here, or maybe it's just New Mexico and not the west   anyways, it's a nice change but at the moment i have my reservations   i learned recently they are on welfare, but i'm not bothered by that   just want to make sure i don't carry them   my biggest sense is they just needs friends on this block  and maybe that's all it is   but i also need my solitude of my home at times   i see these folks daily cause Justin is always knocking on my door, or at least lately   we'll see what happens   there is good in all of this   i no what my boundaries are and limits   i will maintain them   it feels good to be neighborly again.....

Thursday, July 7, 2005

i had to watch the news ....

tonight   last nite i remembered about the Lopez' tv coverage regarding their son being brought home from Vietnam   i thought i had missed it   tonight i had the tv on for the first time this week and they advertised the story for the 10 o'clock news....anyways, they did a great coverage on him and his family   i'm happy i got to see it   will let them know manana that i got to see it   they still miss him, but Carmen is very happy to have him home   they will attend the services in Arlington National Cemetary in October   it was a beautiful story!   God Bless Them.....

on a personal note...i remembered to pick up my ribbon magnets for supporting our troops and one for MIA/POW, you're not forgotton, for my new car    already had put the USA and New Mexico flags on the car....i'm also ready to retire yesterday   the job initially sucked this morn, but i walked off the aggravation and anger delivering my mail   that's one thing i always love about my walking route   can easily walk off stress and frustrations from the office    the day turned out pretty good overall all once out of the office   a customer even gave me a belated christmas gift   it was so thoughtful of her and any of my customers that do appreciate and remember me during the holidays and throughout the year with water, sodas, and sometimes a meal    wonderful people on my route    i am blessed in so many ways sometimes, it's overwhelming at times too.....

God Bless London!

God Bless London and all the people there who just endured the terrorists attacks today    May God be with them and in our prayers these days as they recover from this horrific event....

Wednesday, July 6, 2005

Remind me!

please! please! please! remind me to NOT read or listen to the local news  every time i do there's been a baby badly hurt or killed    i went to the bank this morn to get some notary done on house paperwork   i had to wait an hour to get in, so i decided to sit and read the local paper   Wrong answer!   a baby  took a bullet in the head 4th of jul from someone shootin off gunfire while the fireworks were erupting   less than a year old, he took the bullet in the head   IDIOTS!!!   MORONS!!!   i want to give someone a good ass kickin'   as i read further someone has stabbed and hung a dog, still alive, from a tree but taken all her pitt bull pups    when it comes to children and animals there's no excuse for what people do to them   it's a good thing i'm not a cop   i'd be in jail for choking the livin' crap out of someone for what they've done to children or pets/animals.....God i need to stay away from the local news in any shape or form   i know this stuff happens cross the nation, but i wonder sometimes if it happens here more often   don't know   one case is one too many!

to hair or not to hair

i forgot to tell the story of my day yesterday   actually just a moment when i laughed at myself   i recently got a hair cut and have been thinking it was too short   some of my hair cuts look like GI hair cuts and this is one of them   in my early 30s i got rebellious and radical with cutting my hair very short   length on top, but buzzed on the bottom half    i love it like this   so here i am wearing it again    lately though i've been thinking i no longer desire to wear it this way but with a tadbit more length   anyways, so i ask Cindy if it was too short and her reply was no it looks good   i know Tjnya definitely doesn't like it this way   mostly i don't desire to appear as a 'Butch' which depending on one's perspective i do  ...anyhow, i go to Fed Ex yesterday to pick up a package   the first thing i see is a woman with a Mohawk   i start laughing at myself about worrying about my short hair   her mohawk looked good for her, but that i wouldn't wear   hair says alot i think with the long and short of it   i just have to remind myself that each of has our opinions on how we 'should' wear it   i still like my radical   i say radical for my father thinks i should wear it long   one of those who think i 'should' wear it a certain way   that a woman should look a certain way    thank goodness for freedom of expression and artists and youth who go against the norms   makes for great diversity in our world   i love it! hair or not to hair is the question    be free!   express yourself!

Tuesday, July 5, 2005


i sit quietly tonight with no music on or tv    i usually have at least one of those things on, but tonight i feel like no noise   just quiet   maybe the fireworks and all the hoopla wore me out a bit   i also realized i am drained from the constant heat above 95 degrees   as the days go on, i have little to no energy just to make it thru my work day   i sometimes become a bitch due to the unbearable heat   i'll pray the monsoon actually arrives this year with days of pouring buckets of rain   i think it starts within a few weeks   hurry up, i can't wait....yesterday i talked with my nephew for a moment   he's moving to New Mexico with his newlywed bride this coming weekend   for some reason he needs to stay with me for a few weeks   she's being assigned to Ft Bliss which is about 4hrs due south of here   once he arrives i'll get better answers   they met in military training which he, and maybe her, just finished last week i think   he's army guard, she's active   he will go active after 6months which is the required time he must wait   so i'll have company for a little while   shall be interesting   i really don't know him well and i'm not buying into all that my sister has said about him   i'll see for myself who he is, plus i'm thinking he's changed some for the better since joining the army guard and completing boot camp and his technical training   he's a security cop for them and that says something to me   we'll see   i'll take his company one day at a time   i'm thinking we'll have fun for the most part, or i at least hope so  we'll be just fine  .....well that's about the latest for now    i'm just gonna chill for the rest of the evening......

Monday, July 4, 2005

I am Spiritual

well yesterday i broke down and bought another Bruce Springsteen cd   actually this was 3cds in one   it's awesome   happy that i bought it   i have Streets of Philadelphia on another cd and when listening to it a few weeks ago, i can relate a bit with the song and my illness   there was a moment 6yrs ago i didn't recognize myself literally lookin at myself in the mirror   what a long road it's been   anyways, Bruce is just awesome   i've should have bought more of his music earlier, but life happens.....yesterday i also got the blues really bad   i needed so badly to talk with a friend, but chose not to call anyone   at the moment due to recent events, i'm a bit confused about friendships   what they are and what they're not   maybe i'm expecting too much, which i really don't think i am, but will discuss it with my therapist i'm feelin much better and am looking forward to the day   will bbq some ribs and burgers then visit with friends for the holiday   i will either meet up with Cindy, or be taking the neighbors to a free concert with fireworks this evening   last year i went to the free concert and it was a blast   i love concerts free or not   i love music!    i will clean the house a bit and finish one project i all but finished yesterday   i finally got my prints switched in my bedrooms and the second bedroom cleaned up a bit   it needs a paint job, but my whole house needs it   it'll be the first project to do once i retire, if i retire   i have second thoughts but think mostly it's fear talking  ....anyways, it's been a great 2days off thus far....everyone have a happy 4th!

p.s.   i had a spiritual dream again last nite   i finally figured out what those dreams have been trying to tell me...I am Spiritual...and need to get back to my daily practices, in touch with my Spirit and The One!

Sunday, July 3, 2005

Happy 4th!





What is your Inner Faerie?

You are the tree-loving faerie.  The Earth Faerie.  Nature is your friend, all the little animals are cute & cuddly, even those that bite.  You are a strong friend, people have a tendency to go to you when they are feeling sad.  You have a motherly instinct & always want to kiss away the tears.    .....(this fits me!)'s%20your%20inner%20Faerie%3F/

i got this from Jude   use the link above to check yourself out:-)....

Saturday, July 2, 2005

"Better than the lottery"

    today i got some great news   but it's even Greater for the Lopez' & family    i was delivering my route today and saw Mr & Mrs Bonifacio Lopez at home   they offered me a soda in this hot weather as they usually do  i'm always grateful   well Boni said he had some great news to tell me and that "it's better than the lottery"   really?  i'm thinking   what could possibly be better than the lottery   so he wanted his wife Carmen to tell me the news  so we waited on her to come out into the garage   well i've known for as long as i've been on my route that their son died in Vietnam  they showed me his portrait in uniform and all his medals he had earned   what i didn't know i would learn today   their son's remains had never been found...Until NOW...they just learned that Robert C Lopez bones were found along with 11 other of his marine buddies in Vietnam   they're bringing them home  when is belongings were returned years ago, there was one boot missing   well they found the heal of the other boot   taking measurements of the one boot and comparing the two, the heal fit to a T   ....i gave Carmen a hug and told her that i was sooo happy for them   she replied, "it's a bit emotional, but we finally have closure"   i've never seen two people so happy like they were today   they showed me the shrine they put together, which i had seen part of, but today there was the Vietnam Memorial Wall print and an actuall photo of the wall with Robert's name listed   it was moving   there'll be local tv coverage either mon, tues or wed   there will be a private memorial next week   and then October 7, all 12 men will be buried and honored at Arlington National Cemetary in Washington   yes, 40yrs later the Lopez' have closure   their son is finally home  ...and most definitely, "better than the lottery".........this Independence day remember our Troops.....God Bless these 12 marines who served in 'Nam  God Bless our Troops   God Bless America!....i hope there's national tv coverage on their return.......

Friday, July 1, 2005


Yep, I've got wheels!   yeah!   everything came together this morn   it may cost me tons in interest, but i've got wheels!   i'm ecstatic, but also tooo tired to enjoy the excitement   first i only had 6hrs sleep last nite which is a rare, rare, rare thing   so i'm feelin the drain now   to top it off it must have gotten 100 today again...anyways, now i'm in a family car   a Jeep Cherokee  perfect for me and my dogs since there wasn't a truck available   well they had one, but i didnt have enough down for that  my new used jeep is blue too   my fav color for vehicles, light blue   it looks new for a 98 and i'm a happy camper right now:-)   i won't go on a road trip this weekend nor buy any Springsteen cds for all my extra money went to my new wheels   i am sooo relieved  it was more stressful not having a car than having bills piled up to pay  that's a new one on me   the only thing not workin is the cruise control but i will have that fixed   i've learn to love my cruise control for freeway drivin back & forth to work as well as long road trips   drivin is less stressful with it  the tires look brand new also which means i won't have a flat in the near future-an experience with buying used vehicles   now i'll just work a bit more overtime to pay off a few bills   plus i was surprised today to discover my credit rating wasn't as bad as i originally thought   that makes me very happy too   still have some credit cards to pay off, but that will come soon enough  plus this is a car i can take weekend trips like to the four corners area and all around new mexico as i've been wanting   this is a very good thing in the long haul   the only bad thing that happened today was i almost got bit by a dog which came out of nowhere and from my backside   for the first in over a dozen years, i sprayed a dog   i sprayed him  he showed his teeth, he got it and he moved on fortunately  as much of a dog lover that i am, my job has taught me there are vicious dogs out there  i've been bitten twice in my 19yr career with the p.o.   i always use dog spray as the last resort unless the dog's immediately vicious as in this case   well all in all, i'm happy   i'm back in wheels, i'm back on 'my' postal route for good, my customers are happy    it is hot as hell, but i'm Happy!