Monday, October 31, 2005

one monday morn

mornin' all...i haven't written much lately   been a bit stressed and just trying to wind down   so i'm having hot apple pie and coffee this morn while waiting for  the dogs to chill out   i've also discovered that my space bar is not  working well  i wonder if kyle spilled something on this  this entry may be  very short...damn if it's not one thing it's another nowadays  getting the house prepared for selling  is stressful,  kyle is stressful(he's sending his money to his girlfriend in lieu of contributing to our welfare), work load has picked up as usual....anyways, it's stress!  i'm waiting for this move to be over   for kyle to have his own place   for me to have my space back ...yes i'm spoiled....i'm ready to be retired, but the paper work just finally got submitted a couple days ago    i'm ready for some relief and it's not coming soon    i'm moody this morn-ugh!    thank goodness i get to see my therapist this afternoon   she'll be a great help just to unload for an hour    why can't life be simplier?

Thursday, October 27, 2005

cool inside

it's coool in here!   came home with the door ajar because Saddie painted the doors today   she's been doing my interior painting prepping the house for sale   i think it's all but ready for the market   she's also going to assist me this weekend in packing and straightening up   can't get my son to help much nowadays around here   so while he's working, we'll pack & the meantime, i'm ready for him to have his own place   we definitely talked about that once we move from here   i'm keeping my fingers crossed   i love him dearly, but it's time he be on his own.....tonite i'm listening to 99.5fm radio with Delila (sp?)   she takes dedications and plays all these love songs every nite from 7pm til about midnite i think    i hadn't listened to this in years, mostly because i have no love life at the moment   but lately i'm feeling great about life in general (for the past 3months actually)   so now i can fully enjoy the love songs and this station all day long again   it's refreshing   it's sooo nice to be back again   over the past 7yrs i have said many times i have felt more 'normal' as time has gone by   these past few months, i feel TOTALLY back from the long journey of my illness   i'm at peace   i'm happy again   i still have my rollercoaster ride with the blues, but i know that this is the way it is, and the way it is not   i accept this   the blues are just another day in the life of Karen   i am blessed in many ways despite some struggles   Life is grand in all its beauty!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005


i came home tonite from work and class   very long day   i forgot to take my meds this evening, so i'm a little round up until they kick in   ...anyways, my dogs finally ate once i got home   after eating, jasmine and charlie were still playing   charlie's her best friend    they play all day outside together   i know this from charlie's entangled chain i keep him on   it's all twisted as tight as possible and shrunk to 8' versus it's full length of 30'     don't know what jasmine will do without charlie should kyle find them a place to live together   i also was noticing how beautiful she's growing into    i'll have to take more pics soon    she's such a sweetie too   she comes wakes me up in the morn, early morn, scratchin on the door to get in    she greets me more often nowadays than she has initially    one things for sure, i won't let Nicole take her away from Kyle and I    she's kyle dog 1000%   she's mine, the rest of the time    anyways, i have kyle on the right track making her his officially    ....did i tell you kyle got another job?   he found out today he'll be working at least 38hrs a week until they can find a full time position for him   with those hours he's talking finding his own place if he doesn't go to iraq ...anyways, all is well in abq...

Monday, October 24, 2005

Lavendar Light

ok since this entry is about our Lavendar Light meeting tonite, i'll post it in lavender i suppose    anyways, this was my first meeting attended   it's our churches support group for those of diverse sexuality, family and friends    it was great to meet everyone tonite   about 8 of us showed up    one straight couple as well supporting us   i'm happy i went, but is there such a thing as too much intellect?   too intellectual?   we had a couple questions for discussion tonite and half the group was talking way over my head!   they have been religious science people for a very long time and are up to date on the latest in the consciousness shifting of our world   i'm just a babe in the woods on all of this    plus i think i'm such a simple woman    granted i love intellectual stimuli, but tonite was tooo much for me   i'm just beginning my spiritual journey over again, these people have been on their paths since infiniti i think   anyways, i did enjoy their company and support   i will continue to attend on monday nites as well as continue to grow from them   i also started feeling a shift within me while there, which isn't surprising   this shift is an internal shift and happens often while going to church and attending classes   there is this wonderful energy present there   tis grand to have such a place to feel all that energy and love   such a blessing to have wonderful people, like-minded, sharing and supporting you    such a great place our church and its teachings   i have a loooooooong way to go, but all in time    there is plenty of time, and maybe one day if i choose, i can talk as deeply and intellectually as these kind souls did tonite....thank you God for this group!   thank you everyone who was there tonite!   thank you God for the blessings of today!  ....Amen

Sunday, October 23, 2005

almost over

well it's sunday evening   the weekend is almost over and i'm almost done with my floors   just a little bit more giving the small portion left a second coat of resealing    boy this weekend go by fast   but i finally get to relax a little tonite and just chill with homework   the place isn't totally organized, but it looks much better with the paint job pretty much done and the floor resealed       it's all shiny now   just need to paint the trim and organize now   can't do either tonite for the seal must not be traveled upon til after 6hrs   by then i'll be in bed   ....i'm looking forward to a nice quiet evening minus my dogs barking to get in   i didn't make it to the mtns, so i went to church instead   i'll have next sunday & monday off, so the mtns will definitely be in the plans then   there will be plenty time to get there as well the meantime, i did get in a movie this weekend, Four Brothers    it is a good movie, i just wasn't in the mood for violence at the time   a quietness had overcome me just before the movie   o well, it was only a dollar, so couldn't pass it up....o yes, Kyle found another job  he got interviewed and hired yesterday    he'll be working at Foley's as a salesman   he should be getting the hours he needs too    this made my day   just as i get a little frustrated with him, he's out doing something good to make up for all of it   is this typical of children?   i'm not accustom to being a     anyways, i'll keep everyone posted on selling of the house    need to start lookin for a place again to live   this is all happening too fast and not fast enough.....until another day....have a good one!

Thursday, October 20, 2005

weekend agenda

tomorrow i'm finally getting this computer to Russ to be worked on    i told him he can have it as long as he needs   so who knows when i'll be back online   besides this weekend i'm resealing my saltillo tile floors    need to clean them first then reseal    don't know how long it will take, but it all must be done this weekend   then it's tidy up the place, spit shined as well, so we can start showing this place for buyers    i also have homework and i'm going to do my damnest to get to the mtns for a few hours in between all this   too much stress going on right now   need some down time big time     i'm even skipping church to squeeze it all in    things will be changing within a month or so, and i'm ready for it....for now, my dogs are all round up, barking up a to my ears....

Monday, October 17, 2005

decision made

hmmm  long day   but every day at work these days seems awfully long    spent 1hr in the office and 7 on the street    that's like working overtime  ....anyways, in the midst of it all this morn, i all but decided not to move to the mountains   one aspect which i forgot to consider came to mind today-retirement    if i retire while in the mtns, i'd become ms. hermit and i don't desire to do that    i want all the opportunities of city life when retired:  the bookstores, shopping malls, entertainment industry, and the mountains only a few minutes away    i can go hiking all i want once retired    there's still a place to rent on my postal route    i'm keeping my eye on it   it's perfect for my dogs and me, but if kyle moves in, i won't be able to afford it unless he gives a bigger contribution to the household    of course he can do that if he's full time military     right now i'm just going to wait, see if he goes to iraq   i think he'll know by the end of the month   one step at a time    one decision made, the other will show up in time   no hurry.....well in the meantime, i'm chillin tonite   we have the baseball game on, muted, while listening to some good music    i'll finish up homework tonite also for class manana   just a little more reading and a questionnaire....time for a shower Now    kyle has WWF or WWE stuff on   can't stand that wrestling crap!

from dona's journal

Pay It Forward1- First Important Lesson - Cleaning Lady.

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions until I read the last one:

"What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name?

I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.
"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.

2. - Second Important Lesson - Pickup in the Rain

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride.

Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.  A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed t o be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.  A
special note was attached..

It read:

"Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along.  Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away... God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."


Mrs. Nat King Cole.

3 - Third Important Lesson - Always remember those who serve.

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10-year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him.

"How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked.

"Fifty cents," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled is hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.
"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired.

By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient.  "Thirty-five cents," she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins.  "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said.

The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left. When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, was one quarter, two dimes and five pennies.

You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.

4 - Fourth Important Lesson. - The obstacle in Our Path.

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables.  Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had
been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand!

Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition.

5 - Fifth Important Lesson - Giving When it Counts...

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare & serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had
developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister.

I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes I'll do it if it will save her." As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheek. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded.

He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Now you have 2 choices.

1. Ignore this post, or
2. Repost it so other people can read it.

I hope that you will choose No. 2 and remember.

Most importantly...

"Work like you don't need the money, sing like no one is listening, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like you do when nobody's watching."

NOW more than ever - Please...Pay It Forward...hug three people you love and ask them to pay it forward as well.

~~"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away" -Unknown~~

~~"The risk takers might not live long, but the cautious never live at all" -Unknown~~

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Sunday, October 16, 2005

break time

takin a break from packing   got one room cleaned out   still have my bath and kyle's room, but he can do his in the morn    i've sat down and shouldn't have   i drank a lil jim bean this eve and am feelin good    totally needed to relax from too much stress    it's been a good day    got some of my answers i was pondering earlier    i also got lots done today   packing and studying i think i'll go to bed   there's always manana to finish things....g'nite

critical thinking

good i sit having my coffee, reading journal entries, i remember my criticism days of old    before my illness, i used to be very critical of people   the memories that returned to me were some of those moments   i think i still have some left   old memories, old attitudes have resurfaced lately    not that i'm happy about it, but i must be ok with this about me   it'll teach me to shut the !@#$$ up!   this gives me a chance to understand myself more deeply   granted i'm human and we all criticize, but sometimes i'd rather not    guess i'm trying to live like Mother Theresa at times, but frankly that's impossible i think for most of us including me   i was angry with Tjnya the other nite   this morn i'm getting a little perturbed with Val, a friend in Washington    is it i'm not accepting them totally for who they are and expecting too much ?   i will know in time   maybe i expect too much of myself and it spills over to my friends at times?   the human experience is treacherous i think, but it is also very warming, thoughtful, kind, and generous too   i just keep forgetting the latter   i desire to have faith in people again, but with my history, it's tough at moments    i was even thinking about the people at work and the crap i must put up with there   thru that difficult environment, i've learned to take care of myself, first and foremost   it's a pressure cooker job with constant criticism from management   just their style of managing   it's been this way for eons   there is no working with them   they just desire to continuously slave drive you   well i slaved for many years   i love the hard work and the production i do   now i just don't slave for them anymore   they don't like it and they can't take a jump in the lake for all i care  (btw, most of us employees at the p.o. feel this way)   so the point of all this?   am i too critical?   or is criticism just another facet of life for me to accept in the whole?   is criticism and judgment the same thing?   these questions i ponder this morn, but not for long   i'mheaded for my homework    and in my homework, i learn answers to my questions and more    this Bible Wisdom class and Jesus' parables are teaching me lots   i love it!

Saturday, October 15, 2005

a little bit of good news...

my son, kyle, came home today from his 1st day of drill weekend   he found out that if he doesn't go to iraq, they have an active duty position available to work there full time    this is very good news for us   now he will have a  regular 40hr job   i'm very happy for him   he loves being in his soldier's uniform, so now he can wear it all the time   he just glows when he's in it and is elated when with his unit and buddies   this is going to do him lots of in time, we'll decide whether for him to get his own apartment   right now, we're just focusing on moving from here   all that will be here soon    i'm doing more packing tomorrow reading the house for interior painting   the roof has been fixed   just need to fix the ceiling and we're good to go   next weekend i'll re-seal my saltillo floor   then it's up for showing   i can't wait.....yesterday i had a very rough day will my illness   on days like those, i question whether to live in the mtns or not   all in time i'll know for sure   i'm patiently waiting for the answer from God...

Thursday, October 13, 2005

short note...

and then i'm packing some more   i went to check on another place in the mtns to rent   I fell in love with it    now all i need to do is come up with the deposit, rent and my house payment all at once basically    i'm saying a prayer that it all comes together very soon    in the meantime, i also checked to see what it entailed to reseal my saltilllo floor   almost like waxing a floor   so next weekend that is what i'll be doing   cleaning and resealing it with a high gloss, maybe satin   anyways, then we can put the house on the market    i'm praying too that the house sells very quickly    please say a prayer for me, very soon, i'm taking this puter to Russ' so he can work on it   i'll be gone for a few days    i'll see you when i get back    have a good one....

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

hi all

well,  it's been a few days    i've been lazy and contemplating   i think too much sometimes   like today   i got started and it wouldn't stop today    so i'm taking a time out writing this journal    monday, i did my homework for Bible Wisdom class   it was awesome!   we're studying Jesus' teachings and the parables he taught    i learned sooo much from just one parable   i had no idea they had so much depth to them   such simple words and not a whole lot of them giving such understanding     i can hardly wait to read next week's assignment   this class is just what i desired to learn and more the meantime, i bought another book the other day, Real Love, by Greg Baer, M.D.   i know, i was reading Potter, however i put it down due to class    i've been barely able to squeeze my assignments in, let alone Potter   but after last nite's class, i recognized i don't need to worry   over half the class showed up without reading the assignment   so now, i'll set aside sundays to take care of Bible Wisdom studies    so, the other days, i'm going to read Real Love before returning to Potter   it's a book about unconditional love & fulfilling relationships    I am ready for a relationship with someone, but i still much to learn about them, or so i think anyways   i haven't been successful in previous relationships, but i was young and dumb too   regardless, i always desire to learn more of life and improve myself if nothing else   i've read a few pages already on this book and like it thus far    plus this book is not as thick as Potter #5    i'll let you know anything interesting in the book should it show itself, back at the ranch (my house),   i came home tonite to just the dogs   kyle is at a friends and will be for the nite   when i came home, a new perspective hit me regarding kyle-he's being a irresponsible kid too    he's a good kid, a sweetheart, but i'm thinking by him living with me he's not growing up more   instead, i think this is continuing his teenage years (this came to light in seeing the disarray of my house this evening)   anyways, i've already briefly mention the thought of setting him up in an apartment if i move to the mtns   having this realization indicates to me i probably should    he works manana and i don't   i go see another place in the mtns to rent which is smaller than my 954sq ft now    i love my nephew dearly   he is a joy to have around, but....i need to do what's best for me...and him....i had prayed for guidance and clarity today   this does give me some clarity tonite   i'll keep my eyes and ears open for more clarity to come.......well, one more thing   GO WHITE SOX!!!   my Red Sox loss, so i'm supporting the black & white!

Sunday, October 9, 2005

I Am There

                                                I Am There

                                Written by James Dillet Freeman

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                                               Do you need Me?

                                                     I am there.

                      You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.

                   You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.

             You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.


                   I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.

                   I am at work, though you do not understand My works.

                          I am not strange visions, I am not mysteries.


              Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me

                      as I AM, and then but as a feeling and a faith.


                            Yet I am here.  Yet I hear.  Yet I answer.

                                     When you need ME, I am there.

                                    Even if you deny Me, I am there.

                               Even when you feel most alone, I am there.

                                    Even in your fears, I am there.

                                    Even in your pain, I am there.


                     I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.

                                     I am in you, and you are in Me.

                    Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for

                    Only in your mind are the mists of “yours” and “mine”.

               Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.


                                   Empty your heart of empty fears.

                        When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.

                         You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.

                                                    And I AM in all.


                      Though you may not see the good, good is there, for

                   I am there.  I am there because I have to be, because I AM.


  Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form;

                             Only because of ME does the world go forward.

                             I am the law on which the movement of the stars

                                And the growth of living cells are founded.


                     I am the love that is the law’s fulfilling.  I am assurance.

                  I am peace.  I am oneness.  I am the law that you can live by.

                       I am the love that you can cling to.  I am your assurance.

                               I am your peace.  I am ONE with you.  I am.


                                 Though you fail to find ME, I do not fail you.

                          Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never

                               Wavers, because I know you, because I love you.


                                               Beloved, I am there.


i needed this morn    to be reminded that God is there no matter what   no matter when   no matter whatever    i'm second guessing about my move to the mountains   i'd do it in a heartbeat if kyle wasn't here    maybe as i let this be for now, kyle will learn of whether he'll be deployed to iraq    but, i also recognize the advantages of living in town   so i'm torn and not sure what to do at the moment   so when there's a fork in my road and i don't know which way to travel, i wait   the answer will come to me    and i know God will show me which way....

more Balloons

ok,  these are the second set of pics from the Balloon Fiesta    imagine yourself on a field at least 2 football fields in size with probably 100,000 people and balloons on it   there are places on the field where it feels crowded whereas other places there seems to be plenty of space around you    the colors fill the sky and the balloons whoosh into air   it's sunrise, the dew is there, coffee is brewing with your choice of many food delights   along side them sit numerous of craft shops and trademark balloon fiesta items for your souvenir   cheers are heard as the balloons lift off   the kids are all excited pointing fingers here and there...and there is nothing like the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta as you wear your jackets in the cool, brisk at times, chilli air... 

Saturday, October 8, 2005

one saturday morn

i made it to the balloon fiesta this morn    what a great way to wake up!   pics coming soon as i get them loaded...

loaded finally.....these photos are to capture what the balloon fiesta is like....i have a few more for the next entry....eventually i'm getting a zoom lens that will capture the sky pics better....

hope you all enjoy!

Friday, October 7, 2005

friday morn

morning everyone!    it's been a few days since writing, but it's been my cable connection that's been out   finally it was back on yesterday    but last nite i talked with Carol & Rich on the phone   they're my second parents that live in Spokane, WA    we adopted each other 20yrs ago when i was stationed up there   i met them thru a friend and we've stayed connected ever since   it was great to talk with them    Rich isn't doing so well   he's had heart problems for years now   at the moment they can't figure out what is wrong   i'm saying a prayer for him and hope he will be fine    once retired, i'm headed up there first thing.....after talking with them, i chatted with Dona online for a bit   she sent me some jams 2 weeks ago, but i haven't received them yet    i'm calling the station this morn and see if the carrier has seen it.....

now, for the latest in my world    wednesday i check out a couple places in the mountains to live   the first was a beautiful home surrounded my trees everywhere   there is a dog pen, but it's full of trees also    it's also $50 more than i desire to pay for rent    i'll take this house only as a second choice    the other house i checked out is on 5 acres of land, has a horse corral and is a plane jane country home   square inside and out, but that's no big deal    i love the horse corral for keeping my dogs in and there's a fenced chicken coupe that i can use for charlie   she'll take the coupe out, but it is all enclosed which is perfect for keeping charlie penned in    and yes, both places have comcast cable high speed internet connection   the second place is also in my price range for rent   so, i'm putting the deposit together now and hope to move in by the first of november   say a prayer for me, k?

the autumn clouds are here and have been here ever since last week   we've even been getting some rain   the clouds are covering the city right now, but there's no forecast for rain   hopefully they'll burn off later this morn   and hopefully it won't rain the next few days of the Balloon Fiesta   i have yet to get out there   i'm going saturday morn for there is definitely rain in the forecast for sunday    i'll post pics asap

little ms jasmine is hanging out with me more often these days   she even slept with me a couple times    if kyle gets to go to iraq, she'll become my dog while he's gone yet remember him upon his return home   kyle and nicole don't want her socialized which i disagree with   so while he's gone, i'm socializing her    she's such asweetie pie    well now that she lies in my lap, i will sign off for now    i'll be on & off for awhile til i'm moved    take care  God Bless you all!

Monday, October 3, 2005

guys and duct tape

WHAT is up with you guys and duct tape?    every time i have duct tape here in the house, some guy comes along, uses it and it disappears    they don't know what they do with it and i've only seen it a few days ago   one big fat roll and you lose it    former roommates, the neighbor and now kyle %$$#@!   have you ever heard of replace it back to where you got the item?   -aaaaargh!-

well wednesday i have 3 places in the mountains to look at for rent    i've been plugging away at kyle that it would probably be best if he got a place in town   today he said he was moving with me-UGH!!!   i must make it clear he can't use my car when we move up there   there will be no commuting-me taking and picking him up at work-no sharing my car    i told him he must have his own car!   i've lived up there before and i know once i'm home up there, there's no coming down the mountain to run to the store   granted there are larger grocery stores up there, but still    once home, i stay home   it's too peaceful and quiet to do anything else, which i enjoy immensely    plus, kyle's commute back and forth to work will be an hour one way   we'll see what happens   he thinks he's going to iraq for sure   i'm trying to prepare him if that doesn't happen     right now i'm just going to focus on getting out of here   and we haven't told the neighbors   they'll find out soon enough ....i talked with Pat my realtor today   she says my repairs will only run me about $1200 which i believe includes her niece painting the interior   so at her suggestion, i started packing today    o boy, what junk and dirt i have    i thought  i kept the house pretty clean despite the dogs, however, i discovered it is still filthy despite my efforts   so i'm turning over a new leaf, or so i am going to try    once i move the dogs will stay outside ALL the time, except below freezing temps    once i find the place, i'll immediately work on dog housing and keeping it warm during the winter   i do prefer a spit shine house, although i have eased up on that since having my kids  still, they're tracking toooo much dirt in-ugh!.....what a day     kyle just left for work   i can chill for the nite and do my homework for class finally   that is what i intended for the day, then work on the house; but it didn't work out ....o well......for now, until i see you folks again....

Sunday, October 2, 2005

from Ramtha

To walk alone in the forest is to walk unmolested, 

To climb the peak of a grand mountain 

And feel the wind, icy cold, strong fingers through your hair, 

And breathe impeccable breath, 

And to see valleys far, far away, 

To sit in a stream of running water forever, forever, forever, 

To place a thought on a passing leaf as it makes its way to the ocean,

To be filled in the joy of midnight,

To dance like elfin queens underneath starry midnight,

To become intoxicated with the light of the silvery moon

Waxing and waning till dawn,

To be astride a great fiery steed riding with the wind

And having its mane blowing around your chest and in your face

As you cover meadows, hills and dales,

And riding wild and free,

Of being a great seer

Who can see the invisible world dance and play,

Without harm, without violence, without misery.

To go and sit by a crackling fire,

Watching the sparks and the embers glow and hue

Like some faraway city,

To have soft slippers and good tobacco

And the smell of old books and fine leather,

 To have a pot of tea, and to sip it,

To look behind you, at the window, curtains drawn alas,

And the moment of that silence only disturbed by the cry of a night bird,

And the faintness of it is heard,

And, alas, you watch the embers,

And all that you are,

And all that you are enjoying,

The splendor of that moment impregnated with life,

Brings unsoliciited joy that is beyond understanding,

It is simple.