Sunday, January 30, 2005
well it's 5pm sunday afternoon almost evening i've gotten very little done waiting on my dogs to finish eating before cleaning house i don't have a big place so it doesn't take me long to clean it actually takes me longer to get motivated i think than to clean it someitmes........well i talked to my second parents today no they're not in-laws they are friends i adopted as my second set of parents Carol & Rich live in Washington state, Spokane actually they are a little older than my parents i lived in Spokane in my early 20s for about 4yrs while stationed at Fairchild AFB just outside the city i met Carol & Rich thru a lover at the time Carol was the base commander's secretary and eventually became the wing commander's secretary she, my lover and i would run at lunch time together, running events on base, and the annual Bloomsday running event downtown once my lover was re-assigned to Germany, Carol & Rich took me into their home all the time Carol and I began having lunch together several times a week and then i'd spend some time with her and Rich on the weekends one weekend we even rode our bicycles to Courde'lane Idaho, 30miles one way had lunch and rode them back at the time they were in their 40s or maybe even 50 they did great that day it was a great day we came home only to top a major hill to their home it's like hiking up the side of a mountain just by car let alone bicycle when they would go out of town, i'd stay at thier house and watch their dogs it was a blast in a king size bed , me and 3 little dogs slept but the way the dogs slept you think we were in a twin size bed one on each side of me and the other at the top of my head i couldn't move all night LOL Washington is beautiful i fell in love with the place in the 4yrs i was there i call it Home away from here although i'm originally from indiana i have not lived in indiana since being in washington and the west for the past 25yrs or so i'm now a westerner I Love the west, the wilderness, the mountains, the canyons, the desert and all that it offers in its beauty and terrain beats cornfields any day by me and the people are very hospitable when i think of washington, i get homesick even after being away from there for 20yrs now and when i go back to visit, i get extremely homesick but for now, new mexico is home i love it here too! i love the sunshine year round, not like cabin fever in the midst of winter in washington each state's uniqueness is great .......well my kids bellies are full and they are laying around now is the time to finish cleaning ........i'll write more on washington laterz............i decided right after speaking with them today, i'll go back for a visit next year for sure then i'll try to get back there yearly somehow someway Rich's health is not the best and i don't want a miss a moment with either of them.
Thursday, January 27, 2005
my house is calling for me to clean it.....but Dr. Martin Luther Kings autobiography speaks louder so the book wins for a little while at least right after i finish this entry...................yesterday was not a bad day, not a great day it was a day the most important event was my therapist calling me i left her office monday with a misunderstanding which upset me anyways she said she might have been having a bad day and we talked it out later i called her back leaving a message on her voice mail letting her know she can have as many bad days as she needs she is just as human as the rest of us i need to remind myself that others have bad days too she's a great therapist and this is the first time in the 6yrs of seeing her that i've misunderstood her ........today i'm chillin my cold is still giving me hell will resupply my vitamin C this weekend but for right now, i'm ready for more intellectual feeding so off to my book i go while curled up with my canines......one day soon i hope to figure out how to personalize this journal a bit will get my online buddy Gina to assist me...........til then have a good one!
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
good morning i have a few moments to write before headed to work it's a good morn and i'm feelin great which is really nice after last weeks hellacious week getting blue can take a little while to snap out of it before back and running like 'normal' i made it back to work yesterday which did me tremendous good then last night i made it to church class, thank god it was just what i needed didn't think i was going to be able to attend this class session due to my online schooling it was only this past weekend that i made some changes and knew i could attend i withdrew from the online school i was attending 2 classes at a time with my work schedule was tooo much for me i found another school, univ of phoenix, which i will only take one class at a time will be enrolling in it next month i believe first i must buy a new puter this one is OLD and broken down will be worth the investment well i need to head for work more soon have a good day!
Monday, January 24, 2005
i had a really bad week last week with my blues YUK! my boss thought it was bad enough to call the medics and the cops to check on me when i didn't show up for work ya see it's the dagnabit chemical imbalance in my brain that causes my blues nothing else and i hate it tired of these blues i think the wind should come along and take me blues to the desert and play in the sand with it or some mountain atop the trees people don't need be blue most of their life in spite of medication in the meantime, i'm looking for that parking lot that has brains for trade ya know like cars, just go in and trade for a new one i'd sure would like a new brain keep my memory, my intelligience, my humor, my personality all in tack, just get rid of the chemical imbalance .....last night i didn't sleep worth a darn i was awake every two hours i was sooo anxious inside, also created by that imbalance thought about getting up and smokin a cig but really didn't want to do so i was a non-smoker before all of this crap i only smoke when i'm anxious like this if it wasn't for the depression and anxiety, i'd be a happy camper all of the time and when i'm not having these feelings, i am very happy, mellow, content life is full of optimism well today i am optimistic even tho i'm still feeling a bit blue it's been a hell of a week but i'm fine got out of the woods yesterday when i went to church it took the whole service , but my spirit was lifted tremendously for now, it's hurry up 3pm i see my therapist my rock for the past 6yrs she can finish piecing me back together .........i've had some good life come my way recently, but will post that in another journal entry soon until then I"M FINE. Life goes on i have people and places to see , things to do much to live for ........take care all