Thursday, June 30, 2005
well, where do i start tonight it's 9pm and i've been home for about 10mins i finally took the bus home from work not knowing the schedules, the times and the bus stops i finally got on the bus at 7:15pm one hour and 45mins later i finally make it home granted i work and live on opposite ends of town, but....i had guessimated about an hour or little more on the bus trek, But almost 2hrs i didn't imagine this is very interesting considering i just bought a bus pass for the month of july this is going to be more time consuming than originally thought right now there's a glimmer of hope for me to get into a car manana the guy called me this evening about our apptmnt in the morn i told him i didn't think i'd have enough money his reply is that there's ways of getting around that figure but would need a couple hundred less than required minimum so i'm saying my prayers tonight that after the bills are taken out in the morn, there'll be enough for those wheels if not, i should have it in a couple weeks and that would be only one week of riding the bus since my boss will be working the late shift next week i can hitch a ride to and from work so please say a prayer for me i know all will work out eventually , tomorrow would be better.....and besides there were tooo many homies on the bus ride home not that they scare me, it's been awhile since i've been around a fad of people their attire was not appealing to me at all, but everyone has their fad/phase they go thru....anyways, i did get to unwind a bit on the ride home now i have tons of energy or it's stress from riding the bus i need to chill really bad and i think it got over 100 degrees today-ugh! would explain my nauseated self at times despite tons of fluids 100+ degree weather does upset my tummy easily....anyways, the weekend will be here for me in 2 days-i work saturdays but it'll be a great start if manana works out keepin my fingers crossed....now to catch up with everyone's journals...sweet dreams...g'nite
Wednesday, June 29, 2005
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
it's going to be a loooong holiday already for the 4th the neighbors have begun doing fireworks and my dogs are all round up as much as i enjoy this holiday, i also don't because of my dogs charlie is already in a frenzy as the fireworks go off it's going to be a chore to keep him calm til next week i won't get much sleep this weekend either because of the fireworks i'll have to take plenty of naps....anyways, i hope everyone enjoys the holidays this weekend have a safe weekend....
Living Our Truth
Integrity means living and acting
in alignment with spiritual law
and with our highest vision,
despite impulses to the contrary.
From the heart of integrity,
we recognize, accept, and express
our authentic interior reality,
inspiring others not with words,
but by our example.
as i sit listening to my kids play, i lose myself in the moment and forget my troubles i'm saying a prayer today that wheels come my way soon i just remembered another option i may have will call a dealer and see if it's available in the meantime i'll see if i can get a hold of Tjnya this morn and get her rollin on Andre's car i'm a bit stressed with all of this, but i'll be fine better days are ahead, they just cant arrive soon enough ...wish me luck....and i forgot where i was headed with integrity
Monday, June 27, 2005
Sunday, June 26, 2005
got my coffee...delicious! it's Gazebo from Starbucks glad i went...anyhows, the below questions i got from Patrick's Place who in turn got them from Brian, if i remembered his name correctly....enjoy and pass 'em on if you'd like.
What is your favorite word? love
What is your least favorite word? mother f**ker
What turns you on? honesty, genuineness
What turns you off? self-centeredness
What sound or noise do you love? my dogs howlin'
What sound or noise do you hate? music bustin my ear drums from someone else's car
What is your favorite curse word? damn
What profession other than yours would you most like to attempt? photographer
What profession other than yours would you least like to attempt? politician
If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates? welcome home
i ran out of my starbucks coffee so i picked up some folgers just to get me thru the week wrong answer...i'm spoiled by my starbucks so i'm headed over to the coffee shop and have my cup of starbucks i get some money manana and will buy be a bag of the good stuff first thing i'll give the folgers to the neighbors ....the spoils of life never know just how good they are til you don't have them, lol.....anyways, today i'll work on getting some moola for my car i really desire to keep this car will make a couple phone calls and go from there otherwise another day for chillin'...
Saturday, June 25, 2005
more car repairs needed after all they found a piston damaged after all...an additional $800 is needed for repairing now just see if i can come up with the money to repair it it's either that or trash the car i'm saying my prayers again this all works out soon....
ok Patrick just made a new entry regarding Tom Cruise's interview with Matt Lauer , "Tom Terrific?".....i love this entry of his and recommend all to read it i learned more about the interview thru Patrick's entry than before.....as much as i love Tom, he don't know diddly when it comes to mental illnesses and chemical imbalances but don't worry Tom, you're not alone in that department some of my family members, Christians, feel the same as you do .....too bad, you're all dead wrong! here's the link to Patrick's:
1. Yesterday, I linked to the journal "Mall Of America," a collection of photos from shopping malls of the 1960s and 1970s. What store do you associate most with your childhood in terms of happy memories and why? Is the store still around?
i think the store was called Ben Franklin's a five and dime store the country atmosphere and the best penny candy
2. What song makes you the most emotional and why?
'American Soldier' by Toby Keith it puts me right in the soldiers shoes and i'm always thinking of our troops in iraq
3. Take the quiz: What year were you born under, and what year should you have been born under?
You Were Actually Born Under: You are totally loyal, faithful, and honest.
However, you don't trust others to be as ethical as you are!
Straight forward and direct, you really aren't one for small talk.
You are a great listener - and an agreeable companion when you're in a good mood!
You are most compatible with a Tiger or Horse. You Should Have Been Born Under:
No worries, you're not really pig-like in your personality.
(Though you have been known to have a healthy appetite!)
You are highly intelligent - forever studying and gaining knowledge.
You have a heart of gold and you are appreciated by many.
You are most compatible with a Rabbit or Goat.
4. What time do you typically wake up each day? What is the latest you're normally able to sleep? How many hours of sleep do you get in an average night? lately i've been waking up about 6am yet i still sleep in til about 9am sometimes my sleep pattern is a mess but calming down i always must have 8hrs sleep but will sleep 12hrs at times for no apparent reason
5. What frightens you the most about getting older?
really not being able to do what i most enjoy like hiking and such it's already begun to happen a bit due to my weak left leg that is the femur i broke in my younger years nowadays i can only walk about 3 hours before i'm limping all the time i still desire to backpack the Grand Canyon and will even if i gimp most of the trip....
6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #56 from Debi: If you found the house of your dreams, right price, then discovered that a murder or suicide had taken place in the house, would you still consider buying the house? No! i could not live with the memory of that in my house....
Friday, June 24, 2005
Please leave a one word comment that you think best describes me.
It can only be one word. No more.
Then copy and paste this into your journal so that I may leave a word about you...
Stolen from Secret Garden.
...and then I stole it from Sorting the pieces !
And I stole from Midnight Diaries....
Thursday, June 23, 2005
Good news today twice! for awhile now, i've been afraid that i was going to lose my house, however, today i found out that i'm not going to do so got that news first thing this morn it absolutely made my day:-) ...later this afternoon i run into Charlie who's been keepin an eye on my VA disability paperwork he wouldn't say how much, but there is an increase coming my way if i were to determine the value by his smile, it's going to be significant :-) i've been expecting to hear from the VA any day now, so hearing what i did from Charlie made me very happy....now if i could only hear about my car the timing belt broke so they're replacing it and then will check to see if the pistons have been damaged i'm praying really hard the pistons are fine hopefully will know manana...and who told my boss about my financial troubles he brought me home from work today and shared his troubled times with me i don't think anyone really told him, more than likely he figured it out on his own from his past experience i know who the informant is if she did reveal it to him, but I'm NOT angry the chat on the way home did me some good I am really blessed with some good management people to work for even if i don't agree with them all the time most of what they do is ordered from higher ups anyways if i knew these people would be around for the remainder of my career for retirment, i'd stay another 8yrs but they don't always have control of where they will be either just found out yesterday another great supervisor won't be returning to our office they've placed her elsewhere permanently....anyways, i am fortunate right now and count my blessings i was reflecting today how much someone has been watching over me my entire life i just always want to give in return and the time will come i can my life is coming together like never before and i am blessed with wonderful people in my life there are compassionate, understanding people who live here in this world and it makes for a better place Thank you God for all my blessings including all the j-landers who visit and support me often.....
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
Blue Mood, but i found re-reading my book, it enlightened me......
I use not only all the brains I have,
but all I can borrow.
The Law of Balance
Finding the Middle Way
If gravity is the glue
that holds the universe together,
balance is the key
that unlocks its secrets.
to our body, mind, and emotions,
to all levels of our being
It reminds us that anything we do,
we can overdo or underdo,
and that if the pendulum
of our lives or habits
swings too far to one side,
it will inevitably swing to the other.
this gave me Hope tonight a new perspective on what i'm doing and not doing in my life i am out of balance especially my finances at the moment although the pendulum has not swung tooo far, i am ready for it to swing the other way once more then there can be balance practiced daily, habitually for a new change only recently have i found the balance for my working hours i am happier than i have been in a long time now the next step in my journey for more balance..........the Law of Balance is in the book "Laws of Spirit" by Dan Millman ....a new lesson for me to learn once again....
Tuesday, June 21, 2005
Monday, June 20, 2005
Sunday, June 19, 2005
Dancing to Nature's Song
The world of nature moves
in rhythms, patterns, and cycles-
the passing of the seasons,
the movement of the stars,
the ebb and flow of the tides.
The seasons do not push one another;
neither do clouds race the wind across the sky.
All things happen in
their own good time-
like ocean waves,
in the circles of time.
by Dan Millman "The Laws of Spirit"
it's been awhile since opening this book and i am reminded that things will happen in their own good time i mustn't rush things patience is a virtue Life unfolds as it will no matter what one's plans now is the time to reread this little book on some of Life's lessons and practices as another thought is written in this book: "Worthwhile goals demand effort, risk, and sacrifice. You have to persist through fear and doubt; you have to draw on inner resources and become more than you were before. Every new challenge serves as an initiation: You meet discouragement; you overcome discomfort, boredom, and frustration; and you find out what you're made of." it is time i know what i can become again....
1. Do you do a yearly "spring cleaning" in your home? If so, have you done this year's version, yet? i try, but not always successful sometimes it doesn't get done til the fall...and i haven't done this years version because i'm going to paint the inside of my house soon
2. Have you ever been blindfolded and asked to identify which of two drinks is Pepsi or Coke? If you haven't, do you think you could tell the difference?
no i haven't had the blindfold test, but i could tell the difference between the two i'm an avid coke fan but occassionally pepsi is all that's available there is a difference!
3. You find out that you're going to have a child: what baby names will you choose? Zachary for a boy, Zoe for a girl but there are other names i like as well not sure which i'd really decide
4. You must become one of the Brady Bunch kids for a single day: which one would you choose to become and why? Marsha i suppose ...and it's been tooo long to remember why
5. Where are you going for summer vacation this year? i want to go to Mesa Verde an ancient ruin and the four corners area: NM, CO, UT, AZ meet together
6. What is the most religious thing you do on a day-to-day basis? say a prayer even if it's simple gratitude to The One
Saturday, June 18, 2005
Thursday, June 16, 2005
ok in the news today is the story of Sgt Leigh Ann Hester who received the first Silver Star by a woman since WWII for her duty in Iraq here's the link to the story:
first my congrats to this young woman and her bravery! second, i hope this story will enlighten America on women in combat in iraq there's not much distinction with 'front lines' and when will our govt allow us to fight in combat anyways, frontline and all? if i could, i'd be there fighting with our troops as an all volunteer military why not allow women who choose to be in combat be there train them support them for those who'd fight along with our men Volunteer is the emphasis here not that i'd be wanting to be a hero, but if it's in my heart or it's in any other woman's heart, to serve with our comrades, then i feel it should be done we have to prepare ourselves in the event of war for the most part like the men, let us be there is what i say you never know when the enemy shows up on your front door as it is in iraq i feel women can and have proven they can do just as good a job as men nobody wants to be in war, but why do the men have to sacrifice more than women ....i know i've put myself out on a limb here, but women have been in wars for decades, prepare us completely for them....
another movie last nite 'the pacifier' with van diesel first movie i've seen of his it was cute and sweeet i recommend it for families and those that like warm fuzzies it was 75 cent nite at the theatre so i invited Cindy and off we went my car began overheating a bit before the movie and was still hot after the movie so figured i needed some oil will double check it this morn again before headin out for work ....this photo was taken in the town of Madrid in their museum display it's an old miner's town about 5mins long if that quaint little place and a pleasure to visit from time to time it's considered a ghost town although it is populated and thriving i loved this scene with the old garage and gas pump had to take a photo shoot of it there's lots of places, ghosts towns i have yet to visit in new mexico will be great for photography and once i retire i will be venturing out to them they'll make great day trips for discovering, exploring and have a hell of a good time there is sooo much history in our country and i still have yet to make it to our nations capitol one day and then there's all the civil war battlegrounds if you haven't voted in the Best American series yet, please do there are some great Americans listed including some modern day people like Oprah and Lance Armstrong...anyways, i'll be anxiously waiting for my retirement to come along and to travel the state especially the back roads where there is tons to discover more ancient ruins, towns, and national/state parks to explore speaking of retirement , there's some paperwork i need to complete and return let me get to that right now everyone have a great day or evening truly "may the force be with you"....
Wednesday, June 15, 2005
well i finally saw this movie, 'pulp fiction' last nite maybe it was my mood or something, but it didn't stand out to me as i remembered all the hype to it o well think my movie tastes have changed somewhat nowadays i just desire to see pure entertainment that doesn't require one to think anyways, it didn't cost me a dime to see this movie it was on cable tv and i stumbled on it ...i started feelin better too about 9pm last nite almost fully recovered so now i wonder if i should stay home one more day or go ahead to work will let the doc decide that this morn ....well i picked up my new futon covers i love 'em a little darker than i remembered, but still great more of a chocolate cover plus i love that they're water repellent will be much easier to keep clean with all my dogs' hair too just a wipe with a damp towel ...i actually sat on my couch last nite to watch the movie it was very relaxing, but before that i was watching CMT , a country music video station they played one of Bruce Springsteen's videos it was very good and i remembered how beautiful that man is he definitely has Soul i don't listen to him much and some of his music is to hard rock for me, but i still enjoy most of his music it's been a looong time since seeing him will now need to get his latest cd i only have 2 as it is, but need to add more to my music collection one day i hope to catch up my music collection to the same number of books i have, over a hundred it was very relaxing to sit and watch and listen to the videos yesterday just what i needed usually it's the radio or my own cds i listen to need to do more CMT and get up to date on the latest music music heals the Soul great relaxer too.....well i'm off to catch up on my journal alerts waiting to be read have a great one cya laterz!
p.s. i miss being in school....
Tuesday, June 14, 2005
Sunday, June 12, 2005
affirmation from church today: I live with assurance I know that God is expressing as me, guiding my every step, smoothing the path before me. I walk my path with pride and humility. Divinely guided and sustained, I live with assurance....and so it is
well that about sums up my life at the moment. i had forgotten about the lessons of humility and it is present right now, this moment, due to my home and vehicle situation i will humble myself to whatever will come i experienced so much humbleness from my experience with my illness i was hopin i wouldn't have to do it again...wrong...that's ok i will be fine and swallow my pride, which i didn't know i had any left, and take what may come i will grow with grace, integrity and humility goodness in life...
Saturday, June 11, 2005
1. When was the last time you looked your significant other in the eye and told him or her how much they mean to you? don't have a significant other
2. Which business do you have the longest continuous relationship with: your bank, your auto insurance provider, your home telephone provider, your cellular phone provider, or your cable company? How long have you been with them? my insurance company been with them for about 20yrs
3. What is the most embarrassing question you've ever been asked? too long ago to remember...
4. You have the ability to snap your fingers and be instantly transported to one of three places whenever you wish to go there. Which three places would you select as your destinations? Grand Canyon, North Cascades Hwy in WA, Alaska
5. Last week, the Reader's Choice question asked you to identify your favorite movie line. Later this month, the American Film Institute will list the 100 Greatest Movie Lines of all time. Which one do you expect to win? May the Force be with you - Star Wars
6. You are given the gift of an original oil painting by any famous artist. What painting would you choose and why? not sure his is oil paintings, but i love Gordon Snidow's works i love his portrayals of Cowgirls their beautiful and unique
Friday, June 10, 2005
hell of a day today at work i could not for the life of me get in the rhythm on the route i was delivering i kept misdelivering but i know it had to do with the 4 bundles i was working out of i'm accustomed to 3bundles and walking this was 4 bundles and driving i really didn't know this route which didn't help plus with the additions to it, it was loooong i was moody today too which only irritated the hell out of me easily set off over stupid crap but once i was finished with the route, i finally relaxed i had noticed i was startin to relax about an hour before completing delivery so then i come in the office and i hear we were 10 routes down today and it will be 12 manana-ugh what that means, is we don't have those routes covered with carriers and we have to split them out among everyone to deliver at least 7 of those routes are people on vacation so the remaining were either sick calls, one for danny, and whatever other reasons like injuries or such we are always short of people as it is and the summer is worse because it's vacation time i must watch my hours for sure this will be the time when they mandate working overtime although you're not on the list it can be brutal but i will keep me healthy inspite of it all .....so now for tonight, i think i'll curl up with a book and save house cleaning for sunday it'll be another long day manana, but then i'm off for a day i love sundays! now that i'm not in school, i can also do some home projects, spring cleaning, photography and a little bit of traveling going to take off on day trips i believe and go places in this state i have yet to discover first road trip may be jul 3-5 i'm off all those 3days i've got a plan up my sleeve i'm saying my prayers all goes well between now and then and i'm off (unless i the money comes in for me to fly back to Ohio and see the family) i'm goin' to be chillin' a lot for now happy trails ahead.....
p.s. i'm still thinking about the move to the mtns especially after my chat with kathleen yesterday...i will keep you posted...my heart says yeah, but i need to use my head in this decision too...
ok i know, i just wrote an entry about beginning class again well yesterday i saw my therapist finally (she is well, thank God) we discuss school and me moving to the mountains she felt strongly about me taking a break from school she says i take on too much sometimes my reply, i used to be able to manage it all well nowadays i know i need not do as much and i'm not able to take on as much due to my blues so i thought about what kathleen had to say about school then called the school counselor we decided for sure that i'd take off about 6months it may not be that long for i'm praying my medical retirement will be in effect before then and then i'm immediately back in school school is like a 20hr parttime job and i must stick to 40hrs of work only per week i haven't totally done that yet so right now, i'm going to taper off the work hours again, and rest it'll give me time to work on some personal things as well and read all the books i have purchased i need the r & r right now i'll have a fun summer take road trips and shoot photos but i will be back in school ASAP!!!
Wednesday, June 8, 2005
good mornin everyone it is the quiet of the morn and i'm sitting enjoying the solitude i notice i'm confident today that all will be fine i'm ready for life challenges again and have the drive for them i haven't felt so energized in such a long time sometimes i know we can get in a rut and i think i've been in one or two or.....anyways, today is a new beginning or so i feel a fresh start a new step another step on my journey in life i'm feeling these changes are new sparks in my life starting the ignition to the engine in my soul i'm lookin forward to the road trip i'm determined and focused maybe this is all i needed for my return to complete happiness again Life is Good despite the struggles i'm Alive!.....
Tuesday, June 7, 2005
finally, tonight i saw this movie tonight ok it was a great movie, But....as i remembered from the last movie, it doesn't do what it used to for me great special effects i Love Yoda and Chewy Yoda had one particular scene i thoroughly enjoyed tonight Chewy was there with more Chewys and it was a great story line i think i've out grown it or something anyways, i'd still recommend it i went to relax and have nothing on my mind tonight it took care of that...but before the movie, the Women's College World Series pumped me up really good it was a great ballgame even though i didn't finish it without lookin for the score at the moment, i'm pretty sure the final championship game will be played tomorrow i'll put it on once home from work and while beginning my studies for a new class i'm anxious to get back to work tomorrow and begin my studies stability and consistancy in my life will do me wonders right now one step at a time (thanks Jimmy), one day at a time i know in my heart all will be fantastic in the coming months when i do move to the mountains, i sure hope i do have internet and aol access so i can continue this journal and all my connections here i'll keep everyone posted....well for now, it's time for my glass of milk and hittin the sack early rise in the mornin...take care until another day.... thought for the day:
O Soul of Mine, Look Out and See
O Soul of mine, look out and see; look up and know Thy freedom. Be not cast down nor dismayed; be uplifted within me and exult, for Thy Salvation has come. Behold the wonders of the Great Whole and the marvels of the Universe. Look out and see Thy good. It is not afar off, but is at hand. Prepare Thyself to accept and believe; to know and live. Let Life enter and live through Thee, Soul of mine, and rejoice that Thou hast vision so fair and so complete. Rejoice that the Perfect Whole is so completely relfected through Thee.
My light has come.
....like the seasons Change is definitely here though it will be initially a struggle, the journey will be worth it i resolved one of my problems forementioned in another entry today my vehicle problem is resolved and with it may too my house but momentarily i'm happy for it's one step in the right direction thank you Dona about your comment on change and butterflies you are so right!
Monday, June 6, 2005
although not a rosey day, i like this rose pic...i need a tidbit of cheering up, but mostly i'm doing ok after having such a wonderful day yesterday, struggles arrived at my door step this morn now i will need to allow the remainder of the week to unfold so i know my next steps i've said my prayers and am optimistic that all will be just as it should be...hurry up friday.....
a couple of quotes that will get me thru this week if you need 'em use 'em or save 'em for that raining day....
Far better it is to dare mighty things, To win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure than to take rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy much nor suffer much, because they live in the gray twilight that knows not victory or defeat. - Theodore Roosevelt
Some trails are happy ones; others are blue. Its the way you ride the trail that counts. Here's a happy one for you...Dale Evans
Sunday, June 5, 2005
i need coffee....after being in the mtns today, i'm ready for bed at 8pm, lol i feel nature all over my face, but it's too early for bed so i thought i'd post another photo this is in the Arches National Park the individual posing is my baby sister she looks nothing like me and she's much taller than me, or the rest of us except dad ....anyways, i've definitely decided to move back to the mountains, if i didn't mention this already i'm excited now the question is when previous plans A, B, &C have changed i will first start with this week being over a couple cards should play out and open up the direction better as to what my next steps will be the only way i won't go back there would be if my therapist is strongly against it, but the last time we briefly talked about it a few months ago, she didn't seem to think it was a bad idea i know what to do with when depressed it's only the really, extremely bad days that the only place good is cuddling with my dogs and that can be in any home...i'm higher than a kite right now despite being sleepy and NO it's NOT drugs it's a all NATURAL high i get anytime i'm in the mountains High on Life! high on the fresh mtn air, the pine and evergreen scents, the birds singing & playing, the clouds adrift in their pillowy soft cotton swabs, wood burning and all the high i get from being out there words fall short i've been getting naturally high since i moved to washington state and fell in love with the mtns there why people need drugs is beyond me nature is free also just get out in it! ...and while i'm thinking of it from the bottom of my heart thank you all j-landers who support my journal and me i'm sooo happy Gina introduced me to j-land awhiles back i look forward to all your journals and your comments in mine you all are truly great people your support does me wonders thanks a tons!....now for my coffee i have a couple things to do before hitting the sack....laterz
2. What do you do more of in a typical day: work, sleep, eat, exercise. watch TV, surf the web? all the above except watch tv often i get my 10mile hike at work which covers everything but the web...
3. Your office brings in a new drink machine and it's your job to fill the eight selection slots. What drinks (non-alcholic, of course) do you select? Coca-Cola, Coca-Cola, water, fruit juices, Sprite or 7-UP
4. Take the quiz: What is your expression number? Do you agree with the description it gives you? What do you disagree with most? my number is 1...well they got me partly right: original, natural capacity for leadership, assertive & straight forward, self-confident, self-reliant, reaches for the sky with potential to reach it....now the other parts i disagree with: skills to be a top executive, self-centered a bit, and having a strong dominant streak pushing others away at times= does not apply....
5. Counting all light fixtures and lamps in your home, how many bulbs do you have in place, and how many of them are on right now? none on....about 15
6. READER'S CHOICE QUESTION #55 from Laura: What is your favorite movie line ever and why? May the force be with you....it speaks for itself.
If you have a Reader's Choice question you'd like to see asked (and answered), click the e-mail link on the About Me bar and send it to me.
just back from the mountains what a day! i first drove to where i used to live up there, almost, not quite all the way then i went paper hunting and also stopped at a realtor's place they gave me some numbers for those who are into rental management none of those offices were open today so i'm calling first thing in the morn i also drove around a bit and realized this is where i need to be back in the mountains this is who i am my place my mountains next i headed to the the Peak, Sandia Peak, 10687 ft high had my numbers transposed so thought it was higher anyways, on the way up there a lot of bicyclists were trekking up & down i forgot they do this on sundays, but as i reached close to the top there was an event going on for them there were a significant number of women too which i was happy to see so i got to the top and hobbled in on my crutches to the gift shop i love that gift shop they have tons of neat stuff up there and today i bought a necklace of silver and leather i also had lunch black angus hamburger with the works delicious! o yes with some great fries too! but food is always much better while in the mtns or soon thereafter that fresh mountain air enhances your senses big time and really gives you an appetite too the rewards of fresh mountain air nothing like it so after lunch i hobble back to my truck, pick up my camera and my sweatshirt the sweatshirt was twofold one the air was cool as air conditioning awesome! only air conditioning i like and i needed the extra padding under my pits for those dagnabit crutches so i ascend and descend the stairs there to get to the crest more here a layer of rocks covers the edge of the mountain and whence i sit it is sooo soothing while feeeling that breeze across your face with the warm of the sun too great combination i took some photos too for everyone laterz the view is breath taking so i'm curled up in my rock enjoying the moment but those damn pesty flies are buzzin everywhere can't stand flies don't know how horses do it with them pesty things around all the time so after awhile, i head down the mtn on the way down i stop at Tinkertown Museum it's a great little place.....here's a link.....http://tinkertownblog.blogspot.com ......this guy tinkered this whole museum the displays are of miniature wood carvings of an old miner's town back in the day with horse and buggy as well as a circus and other town setups blacksmith, miner's store, saloon, etc the buildings, the people, the animals, everything in it is carved by hand, painted and/or clothed looking like doll houses with great detail everywhere the building in which it sits is made of glass bottles, yep glass bottles it's a quaint little place plus there was the fortune teller, which is why i really stopped you know the fortune teller in the movie "BIG'? well they have one, so i had my fortune told with 25 cents this is what Grandma's Prophecies said: 'Beware of Friday the 13th That's your unlucky day Whenever it rolls around Bolt the doors and indoors stay............You are meticulous in your habits and that has brought happiness to you and those about you. You have a fine mind and though you haven't had much formal education you have developed your brain to a great extent. You are extremely devoted to your family and would let no stone go unturned if you could help your friends. People appreicate your good nature, and your true friends are legion. Your generosity has become a by-word amongst your friends. Don't overdo it.
except for a couple items, this fits to a T what delight!....and that was my trip to the mtns Heaven, my heaven, can't wait!
last nite i couldn't fall asleep right away I REMEMBERED more of my happy times out in the mountains so now, i'm seriously considering the possibility i've left a message with my therapist so we can talk about the pros and cons relating to my illness...I was sooo happy out there and my spirit is begining to soar again just thinking about it i'm definitely headed to the mountains and will pick up a Quick Quarter and/or Thrifty Nickel to find a place to live that's how i found my house out there before i already picked up a sunday journal here in the city how can you beat the memories especially like the squirrel getting stuck so to speak between my house and porch i came home with groceries and kept hearing some major chattering well i found the squirrel so i tried budging it out with a broom handle, ever so gently, but no so luck ok so i thought it was my dogs, put them in the house tried the broom again, no luck ok i put my cats in the house well damn if that squirrel didn't come out from the porch then just sat there and smiled at me it didn't run from me just sat there next to the porch i told it had til morning to get movin on and not to go under my house through crawl hole i'd be closing that up again went in the house and by mornin it was gone there's so much adventures just in nature playing out it's scenario and the coyotes have their own special howl i remembered sorta like howlin and yelpin together beautiful music O God mountains here i come for now, coffee and searchin the paper have a great day yall!
Saturday, June 4, 2005
well it's 11pm and i'm finally getting home, and No i wasn't at work all this time:-) cindy called me first thing this morn and asked that we meet for dinner OF COURSE!!! this would be our first time to spend time since reuniting a couple weeks ago....but first, i sprang my ankle today and the job sent me to the emergency room i just sprang my left ankle 2 days ago, went home elevated it and iced it was fine today it was the right ankle i went and bought an ankle brace for it, delivered some more mail, took a couple aspirin but still in pain after awhile so i felt it would be best to get off it and not finish my 10 1/2mile hike for the day well mgmnt decided to play hardball this time and sent me to the doc they splintered it and put me on crutches for a few days i froze my butt off in the emergency room with the air conditioning as usual i hate air conditioning didn't think i'd be long so i didn't take my sweatshirt in with me i know everyone thinks i'm crazy carrying a sweatshirt around in the middle of summer, But...except for my tummy, i'm all muscle which doesn't keep me warm...anyways 8pm i'm finally meeting up with Cindy for dinner, monkey suit and all so off we went to Scarpas...i'm getting ahead of myself...while in the emerg room waiting for the splint and crutches i remember a little more of myself before my illness thanks to Cindy I was a Free Spirit actually I still AM, but haven't felt it in awhile i lived in the mtns before/during my illness and was happy Cindy told me so tonight i couldn't remember I hung out with Cindy alot before my illness, not Tjnya God I've missed Cindy alot I realized this tonight we chatted about the new men our lives, the past a bit, and just life just like the good old days i realized a couple weeks ago, i am totally relaxed when i'm with her i can totally be Me! she's been the missing piece of the puzzle, besides my free spirit in my life just couldn't damn remember Maturity is a factor here too always has been with her anyways, i asked if it was a good idea for me to move back to the mtns i miss it terribly sometimes as we both know i must factor in my illness it is actually the only hold up for me and if i stay in town, which i think is the wisest choice, then i must get out there more often than i do now i must rekindle my spirit with nature although i go to church and love what the people and teachings there do for me, it's still being out in nature which feeds my Soul i can't explain in words words actually limit the expression of how i feel i feel One with Life , with all life so much more Alive, important yet in perspective that i am just a small part of all life breathing, touching, feeling the Life force within me creating, unfolding, all that's within me and that oneness with God this is where i feel God's unconditional Love the most and see the beauty that has been created all around us....ok i'm going to the mtns manana i'm looooong overdue....anyways, back to Cindy it's sooo great to have her back in my life i have missed her she said we spent alot of time together before i got ill we talked a bit about my illness too she did see me in some of that and it was my illness that took me in another direction away from her i told her i have missed her even though i didn't realize it just by being ourselves and friends to one another, we supported one another through our ordeals in life she restored my memory on some of the times we spent together it was great to remember i asked her how was i before my illness, she said just as i am now this was very good to know i was happy then i desire to be happy again as much as i can be i am at a crossroads, but will be wise with my journey as much as my heart aches to be in the mtns again, i came home and my kids reminded me that where i am now is home now i don't know i could take these kids out to the mtns these are 'city' dogs accustom to the noises of neighbors and confined spaces in the mtns there is the wild the coyotes howling the owls scooping up prey skunks scenting the air and so much more...well o second thought, maybe they could adjust, LOL my spirit will be free again, maybe it is more so than i've recognized lately i will make a note and keep checking that it is Free....thank you God for Cindy Gonzales my friend.....