Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
Saturday, May 28, 2005
Friday, May 27, 2005
Written By Lee Greenwood
If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life, And I had to start again with just my children and my wife, I'd thank my lucky stars to be living here today, 'Cause the flag still stands for freedom and they can't take that away.
I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free, And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me, And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, 'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.
From the lakes of Minnesota to the hills of Tennessee, Across the plains of Texas from sea to shining sea. From Detroit down to Houston and New York to L.A., There's pride in every American heart and it's time we stand and say:
I'm proud to be an American where at least I know I'm free, And I won't forget the men who died who gave that right to me, And I gladly stand up next to you and defend her still today, 'Cause there ain't no doubt I love this land God Bless the U.S.A.
The above photo was taken at the scene of the World Trade Center disaster on 9/11/01 by
Thomas E. Franklin
i visited a vet for literally a moment today....i just shook his hand and said 'thanks for serving guy'.....he was deeply touched "that means a lot to me, thank you.." such a small gesture made a vet smile he had earned the Purple Heart according to his license plate as young as he appeared i'd say he was Vietnam Vet i didn't realize how touched i'd be either, tears came to my eyes.....Remember everyone this memorial weekend who gave their lives over the years....GOD BLESS YOU ALL!!!!
Thanks to everyone who noted my last entry! Everyone have a safe weekend...cya next week~kbear
Thursday, May 26, 2005
in today's USA Today there is an article about all the memorials being done for our soldiers who have fallen in iraq and afghanistan if you get a chance pick up a copy Memorial weekend is upon us and please take a moment to honor ALL our veterans and soldiers of our armed forces they have done a great service for our country, keeping peace, safe and freeing others for the right of democracy remember our forefathers as well who founded this great nation and all the battles that have been fought for our independence Glod Bless America! God Bless our Troops! note: the article in AOL news this afternoon covers the same story....
Please share with your folks accordingly.
The White House Commission on the National Moment of Remembrance was established by Congress, to honor our fellow Americans who died in service to our Nation. Specifically, the Commission's charter is to put "memorial" back into Memorial Day. www.remember.gov
President George W. Bush has given the Moment his personal support and asks all Federal employees to participate in this initiative.
On Memorial Day, May 30, 2005, at 3 p.m. local time, wherever you may be -- family or friends, or even alone -- honor America's fallen heroes in any of the following ways:
Tell five of your friends about the National Moment of Remembrance.
Display the American flag.
Together with your family, friends, or neighbors, take time to pause for
one minute of reflection to remember our fallen heroes.
Read to your children a story of heroic brave men and women who gave
their lives in service toour country.
Say a prayer for our Nation and the families who lost loved ones.
If driving, turn on your vehicle's headlights.
Sound a bell or tap a glass. Alone or with others ring a bell and say:
"With honor and respect, we remember America's fallen." (Ring bell).
Plan to visit a loved one's gravesite or a military or veterans
Call a family member or friend of someone who has lost a loved one in
service to our country and thank them for their sacrifice for our
Offer a donation to your favorite charity in honor of those who died.
The uniqueness of the National Moment of Remembrance campaign is that it is designed to encourage the participation of Americans of all ages, however and wherever they are spending America's day of remembrance. Please inform your friends and people in your community about the Moment.
This proud new tradition will do more than preserve Memorial Day. It will help encourage others to serve our Nation. Your participation in this shared remembrance will help unite the country and reinforce our Nation's core values. A moment of silent reflection is an act of national unity for all those who paid for our freedom with their lives. It is a moment every American can spare. One Nation, One Moment ? "This Nation does not forget."
To learn more about the National Moment of Remembrance, visit
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
well i sure am chillin tonight haven't done much but sit here, read the news, read some journals, and watch a little tv i'd love to sit and read a book But i need a break now i know why college students don't like to read much , some not at all once finished with school you definitely need a break from the reading so maybe next week i'll pick up a book i've been working on.....well this guy in the chair is my Max he is a golden retriever and i've never met a sweeter dog he is mr. mellow from the word go, although charlie brown will get him to playing other than that, Max is sooooooooooooooo....oooo...sweeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeet! i haven't ever gotten angry with him never need to i rescued him from animal humane actually all my dogs are rescues from either the shelter or humane society Max was bout 3yrs old when i picked him up with a afro hair do from bad nutrition.dog food after a couple months of good food, his hair finally started straightening out he's my first retriever and i never knew their disposition til Max i was afraid he was going to be timid and not stand up for himself, but i would learn that he would and did when sadie i believe challenged him soon after his arrival sadie thinks she's the boss of everyone well he put her in her place....he's really gentle too, except when he paws me i swear he has bear paws they're sooo strong he just doesn't realize how strong he is...he's another Big Sweetheart if you're ever undecided as to what kind of dog to get for your family, i highly recommend a Max.......just steppin outside, i smell rain in the air it's forecasted to rain manana, but i think it'll be here sooner i love the scent of rain in the air sooo refreshing....i'm ready for it to cool off too:-)
ok, here's my Jimmy dog he's black lab cross one huge lap dog he's all kisses and hugs the only irritating thing he does is bark over his food no one, except me, can get near his food he was in the animal shelter for 4months unusually high amount of time for dogs there fear of him being in his last days, i rescued him i'm surprised no one had adopted him before but as i said, he's huge on his hind legs he stands as tall as me at 5'4" he's my most loyal dog too he'll be at my feet all day long, unless he's guarding his food then he's all day there he lays on my lap often and gives me kisses daily and/or nightly .....now for my day.....i want to rant about the job, but don't know that i should hold my tongue plus i'm off work now, and the union will deal with management with their latest doings just as you think things can't get worse at the job, they remind you ever so quickly otherwise you'd think i'd be accustomed to it after 19yrs not sure there is such a thing workin for the govt o well, for now it pays the bills.....now the good thing today was i got to see Danny for a moment Danny is the guy headed to iraq soon again he had on the St. Christopher pendant i gave him he just returned from training and is waiting on his orders now his family is having a going away party for him saturday, so i'll be headed for that today i told him i loved him i love all our soldiers and their bravery for serving our country being a veteran i have a little insight into their dilemmas although i haven't ever served in a war but in the military you are a team everyone is helping everyone else out and the comradeship has no words to describe i thought i'd find that team ship in the civil sector, but it has yet to be found i do have it with a few coworkers, but it's not the same as the military too much diversity with co-workers anyways, my military is a treasure i cherish ...i'd recommend it to any young man or womanundecided with their future from high school it did me a lot of good....well other than the heat getting to me already, that's the news for today (the heat and my meds do not mix i get physically ill if i'm not careful of my diet)....hope all is well with j-landers ....laterz
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
Monday, May 23, 2005
1. What is the last product or service you tried just because you saw a commercial that impressed or amused you about the product? Did you like the product or service after you tried it?
Verizon Wireless...yes I love my telephone service with Verizon I've been using it for awhile now Couldn't be happier.
2. How old is the oldest photograph in your home? Are you in it? Probably the baby picture of me is my oldest photograph. My mother gave it to me a few years back. I must be only a few weeks old in it.
3. What is the most supernatural event you have experienced? Did you feel there was a specific reason that it happened to you?
this is an interesting question....if you call God answering my prayers often, that's supernatural to me:-)
4. Do you usually consider the glass half-empty or half-full? O it is always half full. I'm such an optimist yet I do have my half empty moments.
5. What part or parts of your body do you shave regularly?
well my pits and my legs of course...and unfortunately i have a tidbit chin hair i must shave it regularly too just one of those hairy women i suppose...lol
6. What day is typically your busiest of the week? What day are you usually the happiest? What day are you usually the saddest? well my Happiest day is always Sunday i always know that is a day off for me...my busiest day is anytime i'm at work....my saddest days come and go as they please that's what my blues does for me no predictable pattern on those days....
Sunday, May 22, 2005
Saturday, May 21, 2005
this is for Scalzi's weekly assignment it's my first time doing his assignment here goes:
Now I go back to the very first Star Wars movie. I was home on leave from the military I was stationed in the Azores, Portugal and had no clue about what this movie was all about or all the hype surrounding it I was on a date with my boyfriend unknowingly i was in love he was my first love and i cherished anytime i had with him so we're at the movies and i pay more attention to him than the movie i did see enough of it, but it didn't seem to impress me much quite frankly i would realize later that i didn't follow the story line very well that night i was just sooo happy to be with my Beau that nothing else mattered.....now it was the second time i saw the movie, that it really caught my eyes I loved it! and ever since then i've been in love with Star Wars. aside from Luke Skywalker, Chewbacca and the Ewoks would be my all time favorites of the series and o yeah, YODA TOO! Yoda the wise one....i have yet to buy the triology and now i must debate whether to purchase DVD set or regular VHS i don't have a dvd player yet One day soon, i'll have the original set and will be replaying them constantly although the new Episodes of Star Wars are great, i am very fond of the original series....MAY THE FORCE BE WITH YOU!
Friday, May 20, 2005
Thursday, May 19, 2005
i discovered another journal this morn while reading Jude's journal in the new journal Lori gave us a link for the Wild Horses that are being round up for slaughter there's currently a law which allows people to do this well right now there is a bill on the floor to stop this nonsense and for those animal lovers out there who would like to help out here is the link:
I'm an animal lover and horses are my favs too. God left us all these wild horses for their natural beauty, it is not mankinds right to destroy them. anyways, take a moment if you'd like and send a comment to your congressman/woman. :-) this link will provide you all the info needed to contact your representative.
Wednesday, May 18, 2005
the following was written by Mattie Stepanek
A NEW HOPE
I need a hope...a new hope.
A hope that reaches for the stars, and
That does not end in violence or war.
A hope that makes peace on our earth,
That does not create evil in the world.
A hope that finds cures for all diseases, and '
That does not make people hurt,
In their bodies, in their hearts,
Or most of all, in their spirits.
I need a hope ...a new hope,
A hope that inspires me to live, and
To make all these things happen,
So that the whole world can have
A new hope, too.
i discovered Mattie not so long ago and soon there after he passed onto heaven. I have one of his books and will purchase the others. For those who don't know of him, he was a great poet, leader of peace and inspiration to the world He had Muscular Dystrophy and left us at the age of 13 i believe. this poem i found in an old Science of Mind magazine i had buried in a bag the magazine covered is plight and all his greatness. if you haven't picked up one of his books, i recommend it greatly. he's forever in my thoughts....
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
THANKS Everyone for your support today and your comments. Thanks to Marti who sent me this link http://www.bassfiles.net/parachute.swf it's useless fun but it made my day today and immediately after work:-) i got some great laughs with it so if you need stress relief, i recommend this site.....my hip pain did subside but my mood didn't i was able to walk some of that mood off today in the warm sun and cool breeze that's why i always loved walking routes a great way to walk off the stress in lieu of aggravating it while doing a mounted route listening to the vehicle's motor running all day while walking the wind takes my mind off of things and one does not really have to think while deliverying the mail i can get some great solitaire in while walking and deliverying mail and get paid for it:-) thank goodness the boss doesn't know, lol ....so tonight i'm chillin somehow someway i wanted to hit the dollar movie but i got home too late from work for the early show maybe manana not sure how i'll chill tonight, but i just said @#$% it today with life i realized sunday evening that if it wasn't for my damn depression, my life would be a piece of cake it was nice remembering me before my illness again and this journey will my illness really put me through some deep valley lows that i've climbed out of anyways, things will get better one way or another come hell or high water i've been thru both, so i can handle it....i came home and had some cocoa krispies so my mood is better already i see kathleen monday, my therapist, she always has the right answers for me i'm soooo very grateful to have her in my life i need to talk one more idea regarding school, then i'll know what to do with it in the near future i didn't turn in one paper for this class and it hurt me BIG TIME on my grade hopefully i can straighten it out in these last 2 weeks of class it was just my depression talking AGAIN but i know what to do the next time...if any of you find a lot that has brains for trade out there, please let me know i'm in search of a new one....LOL anyways, i'm going to play tonight some everyone have a great day manana and the remainder of the week....i'll be in touch
p.s. i found one of my old Science of Mind magazines, so i'll share a thought or two from it.....
On Being Confident What God is, I am. Therefore, no matter what challenge I face today, I know the Presence that dwells within me successfully guides my path. I move forward with confidence, knowing God is my Source.
my damn hip is killin me! so much i want to scream bloody murder and i'm grumpy as hell because of it it's part of the scars left over from breakin my femur in my youth i think i wrote about it in an earlier entry? i fell off a cliff in the Azores, Portugal, my first duty assignment in the air force....anyways, not sure what's causing the pain after this last doctor's visit the visit was for my disability compensation claim it was revealed to me that i have a piece of metal in my hip i need to schedule a regular appointment and have it checked out if this is causing the pain, then i want it removed the tip would be from the metal rod they inserted into my femur the first time around that was toooo long they left that rod in there a year and the bone didn't heal, so therefore another surgery was required-yuk....well almost 30years later, 28 to be exact, i have excruciating pain in that hip often i woke up with it this morn and often it'll wake me in the middle of the night,,,,,anyways, my mood swing could be from my illness i've been having them the past couple weeks this doesn't feel l ike menopausal bitchiness this time i realized the other night if it wasnt for my illness my life would be 'together' so to speak more so than it is now i'm going to ask a friend with helping me manage my finances better when i'm depressed, i go shopping and it's nothing i really need, some of it anyways it does make me feel better tho if russ and i get together, i'll turn it over to him and let him give me an allowance , lol all i know is i need a better grip with this than i've been managing i've just need to realize how much my blues have intervened on my life no matter, i'll survive it all things could be worse for me and i'm grateful they're not the other nite's insight really put me in perspective with my life i could remember that i did have things 'together' so to speak before my illness sometimes i can't remember crap about me before my illness, but fortunately and eventually it does surface despite all of it, i'm still grateful for the blessings from my illness it's frustrating as hell sometimes, but i keep lookin to the positives that has come of it......now, may each of you be blessed with the joys of life, may the sun warm your soul, the wind caress your face, the birds sing their lullabies to you and the scents of nature reach your senses....
Sunday, May 15, 2005
first- Tjnya and I took Tabou to the park she immediately barked at the other people, then hauled butt back to us, really ferocious rottweiler LOL
second - i just turned on espn and they were reviewing the upcoming Star Wars movie after the interview, they said they would "pray for your souls" for those of you in line for tickets......i thought it was funny anways.....maybe i'm tired
Saturday, May 14, 2005
the night is old, actually turning midnight within an hour and i sit just to reflect and not my babies lay beside me at my feet i listen to my music on ACM mellow is my mood after doing my paper tonight all in one evening school amazes me actually, or i haven't hit the thick of it yet is it me, or is school 'easy' nowadays i keep surprising myself of how less time and effort is needed to do school for me, or i'm not doing it right? maybe i'm just enjoying it so much it seems effortless and compared to my job it is like nothin well i'm not going to jump to any conclusions on it just yet i will wait a few more classes and see how they span out i'm not a straight A student, but i'm ok with that B/B+ is usually my average school was a bit of breeze for me in high school usually, it was a rare thing for me to take homework home now i suppose if i did apply myself harder, i could do straight A's but then i'd have alot more gray hairs too it needs to be fun for me to learn anything life is meant to be enjoyable anyhows, i'm chillin right now after my paper and before i go to bed tomorrow will be another day of doing more homework, some catch up, some for our team paper if only i could go to school ONLY, i'd be in heaven:-) ...today i took a break from stress and i went and checked out the new Jeep Rubicon I'M IN LOVE! lol i had a jeep wrangler a few years ago and i really miss it i've decided i'll get another Jeep and if i can afford it the Rubicon is for me i want to 4wheel drive again out in the mountains of colorado and any place i can find in new mexico i also desire to find those off road places to look for some unique photos to take i want to drive the Rubicon to alaska and back but as well to other national parks and "wilderness" and i mean wilderness my favorite place of all time, aside the grand canyon, is a stretch in the North Cascades in northwest washington state there is a 75mile stretch of nothing but wilderness and it's gorgeous there's a main road that ventures through there, but there is no other 'civilization' no gas, restraunts, hotels/motels, nothing but campgrounds and they are far in between it's a great place to backpack too the mountains are awesome this is where i fell in love with the west the water is an aqua green it's so pure and i have yet to travel montana, explored yellowstone much, the grand tetons, and wherever the west may lead me there's some great back roads in the west too i'd travel them while i was in idaho to california idaho is beautiful too wow, it's been a long time since reminescing these great states it was triggered by another's journal entry on castles now where does castles come into all this well i saw castles in europe in my 20s and this is also when i lived in washington and idaho i'm gettin home sick gotta retire hurry up medical records all other paper work is waiting for your arrival so i can submit it a couple more weeks and i should be able to submit it:-) anyways, any of you that have not been out west, you must visit granted there is some beauty in the Applachian mountains too, but the west is vast and forever beauty everywhere you look ok i'm a bit biased i admit, but i've been out west for over 20years now it's home to me now i grew up in indiana where the cornfields are....well i'd better stop for now, because i'm in the mood to write all night so for now i'll check out toby keith and my favorite song of his "american soldier" GOD BLESS OUR TROOOPS!!
Friday, May 13, 2005
tonight i got some reassurance which i needed the other night i wrote in this journal regarding Russ and his young worker some of you might have seen it, others not because i deleted it i realized after that entry i was a tidbit jealous of this worker of his from out of the blue it arrived on my doorstep and i had to deal with it it's been over a decade since dating someone and having competition around ....well anyways, i saw Russ tonight at his house and met his worker it wasn't meeting her that reassured me, it was simply his kisses and holding me he doesn't even know i've been feeling jealous he was just himself and the kiss and holding was all i needed this picked me up tremendously better than chocolate actucally, lol i realized today i've been moody and depressed for about 2 weeks but haven't been paying too much attention to it until i've gotten tired from work my bitch: i'm tired of being sick and tired...lol i got sick of it months ago....anyways, Russ' kisses will carry me through the night and then some:-)....now some chillin time for me....take care have a great day/eve...
affirmation: On Happiness I no longer focus my attention on the undesirable circumstance in my life. Instead, I place my attention on the goodness of God knowing that goodness is God's will for me. Goodness brings happiness, harmony, and peace. I now embrace heartfelt happiness, harmony, and peace in all areas of my life.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
Good mornin yall it's tuesday morn and my confusion was created out of a bad dream i made a note on it so i can discuss it with my therapist in a couple weeks i realized this morn after the dream that i think when i was in the gay life it created more confusion for me adding to the confusion from childhood in my young adult life, 18-30, i was in the gay life i thought i was gay, but always questioned it i dated men initially, but found myself with a woman anyways, when alone i always questioned as to whether i was gay or not about the time i was ready to date men again, my illness took hold so i didn't date for a decade and then started dating men i'm not confused anymore as to my sexuality, but sometimes i have this re-occuring dream which i won't go into details because it would take another whole entry it relates to me being 'gay' sorta, but i know that is not Truth for me anymore i've never been happier with a guy than i ever was in the gay life i just wasn't happy there i knew this years ago before my illness now i can just be karen and not have that expected 'role' put upon me....so anyways, i really didn't begin this entry to indulge into that i'm happier now than i've ever been in life ...what this entry is for i wanted to share something from a book i've been reading a bit , Courage The Joy of Living Dangerously, by Osho i don't know who Osho is but i picked this book up in our church bookstore his introductory totally blew me away and i thought this guy was crazy, but as i've dived into the book he has some great insights here is a tidbit which i really love:
"The way of the heart is the way of courage. It is to live in insecurity; it is to live in love, and trust; it is to move in the unknown. It is leaving the past and allowing the future to be. Courage is to move on dangerous paths......Heart is the future; heart is always the hope, heart is always somewhere in the future. Head thinks about the past; heart dreams about the future.....My responsibility is toward my heart, not toward anybody else in the world. So is your responsibility only toward your own being."
what igot out of that was to live with your heart allow your heart to be your guide and direction for the heart always knows the 'right' path for each of us individually if i listen to my heart in lieu of analyzing everything, i'll know the answers it is my head, analyzing, that gets me into trouble the heart is the soul, your spirit connected to the one Spirit (God) who guides you so this tells me to listen to my Heart! how simple this is ....this book is more than i thought i'm glad i picked it up:-)
affirmation for the day: On Living in the Present
I live in the urrent moment, releasing the past to its place in memory and focusing on today, fresh and new. Now is all there is. I recognize the goodness of God in the now moment and rejoice. I accept the many blessings of each moment as I live it.
Sunday, May 8, 2005
hey everyone, a few more photos i wanted to share for now #1 is my friend Tjnya and Tabou @ 7weeks old #2 is me and Tabou about 12wks old #3 are the Montyoa-Martinez twins the one on the left is spitting image of her mom & grandpa the one on the right is the spittin image of her father they are twins born on my postal route a couple months ago #4/5 are photos of kris' bush another customer of mine i thought it had photography potential and i was trying to capture the color and delicacy of nature....well i just got angry with my dogs one of them chewed on the 8x10 photo i had matted ready to give to my therapist this is a chapter for 'murder she wrote' which my dogs do write from time to time fortunately i have another photo and the mat is inexpensive at walmart i love my kids, but they are kids/dogs means i must go to walmart tonight anyways i was already to chill in the house tonight and get some things done like ripping up some carpet tonight. well i'll be awake for awhile let me get to the store for i need a business envelope also...or i can wait til tomorrow evening i go to the VA tuesday too....grrrrrr! o well life is better dont' think i'll drop college afterall, but i realized i needed to let go the class at church at least this last week has been an eye opener for me....anyways, btw, my gap in my teeth is temporary working on the 5k to fix that bridge, lol well hope all is well with all my j-landers take care more soon...
Saturday, May 7, 2005
Friday, May 6, 2005
Thursday, May 5, 2005
for those who'd like to know, the website i found my friend on is http://zabasearch.com i've been very happy all day today since finding my friend i'm still in shock a bit she was my best bud back in the late 70s and early 80s until i left washington state traveling around the world a bit i've always thought of her ever since losing contact and still missed her sorely words cannot express my happiness ...and yes, i think if you lost a friend as i did her, i'm pretty confident you can find your lost friends or family for that matter ....i'm going to try and find some other friends and comrades i knew while i was stationed in the air force at fairchild afb, wa just outside of spokane, wa. i wish all of you the best of luck in finding lost friends or family i'm going to be emailing val daily for awhile until we get caught up and then some back then we always talked about everything we are both very happy with the reunion and she's still with her 'wife' now for 27yrs now yes they are gay but that doesn't matter to me people are people are people....more soon take care everyone
affirmation - On Spirit Within I am never alone. Infintie Spirit is with me and upholds me in every situation. Spirit guides me through every experience and inspires me from within in everything I say and do. I am loving and loved child of God. Spirit working through me meets every need. I am inspried, directed, protected, and uplifted by God within.
Wednesday, May 4, 2005
Tuesday, May 3, 2005
i went to the next church class tonight i had no idea whether i'd be making it to another after tonight, but i went anyways it is more teachings of what we need to practice in order to create abundance in our lives this week topic: Gratitude i have much to be thankful for but haven't been in gratitude lately i'm hoping if i shift to this perspective, my life will be more peaceful for me not sure today i've been angry all day and just don't know why anger and gratitude don't go together so i'll ease into the warmth of my bed with my kids beside me and sleep on it it rained this afternoon and is still doing so right now it's a spring rain, only a bit cool yet smelling very refreshing as though life, earth, and our souls are given a new beginning a cleanse of the old and onto the new i love with the air smells sooo fresh with moisture almost like the mornin dew thank you God for the rain today! cleanse my soul so i know what you have in store for me around the corner as the flowers blossom, may my soul and spirit do the same life awaits me and i must immerse myself again i know God will show me the how as i figure out the what......
may the sun shine on you brightly, may the wind caress your face, may all your days be full of love, and may you know you are God's proudest joy! (c)karengoins
Monday, May 2, 2005
Rev Jennie taught a service on change just a couple weeks ago Tears flowed as i recognized her change as she shared her story i've been going thru change or the need for it the past several months as i'm cleaning my bedroom and taking up remenants left from the carpet, i realized change is happening now and must continue my pace is slowing for me whether i desire for it to do so or not i have a tough time having the energy for 40hrs of work a week let alone 60hrs which i need to put in i know it can't just be work for me all the time, i need other things and people in my life i do have that, yet now where is the balance one change i recognize coming into my life is having a partner in my life that's been tooo long and not the right relationships before i realize today a relationship is needed or i must make other changes in order to take care of me and my kids mostly, having another there for me besides my dogs will be a major adjustment for me me and my damn independence maybe it's not the independence but maybe the true core is not having anyone in my life to depend except for one relationship a very looong time ago a couple decades matter of fact my family was not (and still isn't) dependable before i graduated high school and left the ones i do depend on right now are my therapist and psychriatrist other than the one relationship decades ago, i've depended on myself i'm just waking up to this fact interesting anyways, it's not that i haven't wanted to depend on someone at least a little, no one's been there is all maybe one day in the future, sooner than later...anyways, these are the thoughts i contemplate at the moment Change is here and more to arrive soon this is a good thing for me now that i recognize this, i can direct some of its course not sure of all the answers , but soon some will arrive at my doorstep Change is good!
Sunday, May 1, 2005
listening to some old fashion church music on BIG I 107.9 it's on every sunday morn and i haven't heard this song in a very loooong time although a religious science person now, i still enjoy some good old fashion church music it's still in my spirit since childhood and some of the messages still ring true even at our church we'll sing some of those songs on occasion one thing Rev Patrick had asked us in our foundations class was not to denounce other churches or religions, for if not for them we wouldn't be where we are today i agree whole heartedly and had already decided that years ago when i first explored metaphysics there is good in all religions and beliefs and we are all headed to the same place, Oneness with God here and now and the hereafter, Heaven!...........anyways, this note was to get me rolling on some positive thinking today and move my mind from the forementioned paper (person in paper really) i remembered i had forgotten to tell you i got my new dishes the other day they arrived rather quickly ordered from the National Wildlife Federation, they are wolves! on each and every item and i didn't get those tea cups but rather true coffee mugs :-) i'm soooo happy! i have wolves as the theme to my living room and soon will be adding a touch of other wildlife too it is a set of 4 and will order another set in the future to replace the remainder of the odd pieces of dishes i have anyways, life is pretty good! and yesterday i went to get a big mac and came home to re-discover the growth my cacti have been doing this year i planted them last year, near the fall i believe, and they are sprouting immensely my front yard is xeriscaped with rocks and i wanted to get a desert look out there rock xeriscaping is the norm down here a combo of too much soon on the grass and just not wanting to do yard work mine was already in place when i bought this house 4 1/2yrs ago i got my cacti free from a customer who had done their front yard i asked where did you get the cacti and they replied from dad's ranch so Theresa did some clippings for me there are some benefits from having your own postal route besides great customers anyhow, i'm sitting here chillin as i like to do sunday morns with a cup of my starbucks coffee if i get motivated, i'm taking my dogs for their 'walk' they run, i walk it's been awhile and they need it i have tons to do today-ugh! need to do my portion of the team paper for class, do homework for my church class, clean house, clean yard, and do laundry as a minimum today not enough time in a day i do really want to take the kids for their run it's cloudy out right now and i'm sure rather cool i'll chill for a little while longer and then get started with my day first i'll start off with the affirmation of the day, needing it for myself
On Spiritual Inspiration I know that Universal Intelligence is ever available to me. I surrender to new possibilities and open to the "still small voice within" for my inspiration. Spirit knows all, and I am one with the all-knowing Spirit that resides within me. I truly am spiritually inspired.