weekend over

1 flea market, one baseball game, 3 movies and sleep all in one weekend made it relaxing   saturday we started out the day late and began with breakfast treat at IHOP  the food was good, but it took forever to arrive so no tip   then we head to the flea market after picking up tickets for sat nite's game   the flea was barren in comparison how i usually find it   there were about half the vendors there than the norm   everyone must be on vacation  either way, i still found something to buy , a beautiful rainbow colored mexican blanket  there were some other great bargains but Kyle kept saying no   i was definitely in a shopping mood...once home we killed a little more time before the baseball game that was not going to be   just before departing more clouds had rolled in this time bringing some rain   it hadn't quite poured until we arrived at the stadium awaiting for game time  the sky opens up and pours cats & dogs   we left although the game had yet to be called knowing full well there'd be no game   indeed the game was canceled   we came home and watched the movies we had rented the previous nite, Hitch and Pitch Black   Kyle, Nicole and I got thru Hitch   it was a good romance movie, but that's my thing right now for it only reminds me of how much i miss a relationship...anyways, Nicole headed to bed as Pitch Black began and Kyle followed soon there after   for some reason i was wide awake   i usually am not up past midnite unless i can't sleep   well i'd soon realize i hadn't taken my meds and i was awake because of that   eventually about 4:30am i fall asleep  and sleep til noon time sunday   i woke long enough for a bite of breakfast then it was back to sleep for another hour   finally awake, i'm up    now the course of the day begins with running my dogs   Nicole has headed back to ft bliss while kyle & i take jasmine on her first walk with my kids   i wasn't going to make it to the mtns afterall so this was my compromise   after wearing out the kids, we head down to the ballpark again for the makeup game  not much of a crowd, but then again i don't think people knew it was scheduled  everyone began arriving for the second game at the original time ...i receive a call from Cindy and off we go to the dollar movie   this time it was 'Monster-in-Law'   this movie was better than i had anticipated  it was hilarious   must purchase it later once on vhs or dvd....overall the weekend was good   it gave me some time to heal my anger from last week, to let go of the worries in life and just be   now tomorrow it's back to work i go but i'll be refreshed and with renewed strength   i'm scheduled to be off tuesday   if that remains the same, then i can go to the mtns for a little hike   there's still a little hope with my p.o. retirement   my boss informed me on friday that i only have a few more months   i took that as an indication he recommended approval of my retirement in his statement     like Jude, another j-lander, i need another 2 weeks of r & r.....

clouds roll in

the clouds rolled in today   it even rained for a few moments  i didn't desire my rain gear, so i dawned my sleeveless sweatshirt   it was just right  enough to keep me dry at my chest while my arms and legs enjoyed the wetness and cool breeze   it stayed cool all day, but the humidity lingered after the shower   hopefully the clouds will remain for awhile as forecasted and the fall sneak in early...in the meantime, i'm headed for the mtns again this weekend   as tough of week i've had, i need the refreshing scenery and air   i may go manana, but if i have the stamina for work that's where i'll be   tomorrow nite we're headed for a baseball game   my first this year   i need all the r & r i can absorb this weekend    we will start with a movie tonite, Pitch Black   another pure entertainer   i've had enough drama for the week....everyone have a great weekend    laugh, love and treasure the moments...

Alive and Well....

   
      Thursday, August 11, 2005  
"
I got this from Anne's Blog...Saturday's Child



                                          

    
      I am the girl kicked out of her home because I confided in my mother that I am a lesbian.

I am the prostitute working the streets because nobody will hire a transsexual woman.

I am the sister who holds her gay brother tight through the painful, tear-filled nights.

We are the parents who buried our daughter long before her time.

I am the man who died alone in the hospital because they would not let my partner of twenty-seven years into the room.

I am the foster child who wakes up with nightmares of being taken away from the two fathers who are the only loving family I have ever had. I wish they could adopt me.

I am one of the lucky ones, I guess. I survived the attack that left me in a coma for three weeks, and in
another year I will probably be able to walk again.

I am not one of the lucky ones. I killed myself just weeks before graduating high school. It was simply too much to bear.

We are the couple who had the realtor hang up on us when she found out we wanted to rent a one-bedroom for two men.

I am the person who never knows which bathroom I should use if I want to avoid getting the management called on me.

I am the mother who is not allowed to even visit the children I bore, nursed, and raised. The court says I am an unfit mother because I now live with another woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who found the support system grow suddenly cold and distant when they found
out my abusive partner is also a woman.

I am the domestic-violence survivor who has no support system to turn to because I am male.

I am the father who has never hugged his son because I grew upafraid to show affection to other men.

I am the home-economics teacher who always wanted to teach gym until someone told me that only lesbians do that.

I am the man who died when the paramedics stopped treating me as soon as they realized I was transsexual.

I am the person who feels guilty because I think I could be a much better person if I didn't have to always deal with society hating me.

I am the man who stopped attending church, not because I don't believe, but because they closed their doors to my kind.

I am the person who has to hide what this world needs most, love.

Repost this if you believe homophobia is wrong, and if you think it's time for a change.

"

a little chilled tonite...

ok...this is a follow up to the previous entry since i was able to relax a little tonite from the past few days   ....for those who would like to know what happened with my dog, here goes...all last year, my Sadie dog kept fighting my other dogs especially a little terrier that i had   during these fights Sadie became like another dog in a frenzy and out to kill   she almost literally killed the little terrier i had   so i'm figuring that most of this was due to the terrier aggravating the hell out of her and for that and other reasons i found another place for the terrier   so for about 6 months now Sadie has not been in any fights again until the other nite   it wasn't even her fight  Charlie snapped at Max, no fighting done, but soon as he did Sadie attacked Charlie   she was in a frenzy and tore up Charlie a bit   there was plenty of blood   i did not have such a great day at work, nor had my supper yet when this broke out   the only way to stop the fighting is throwing water on Sadie, then i can grab her and put her outside, which i did   during last year and the other nite, the bloody fights (literally) have been tooo much for me to handle   in the midst of my anger 2 nites ago, i decided right then and there to take Sadie to the pound   i've never been so angry with Sadie or any of my dogs for that matter   i knew in keeping her that i'd be walking on eggshells in keeping them apart anticipating another attack by Sadie   since she was a pup she's always been ms queen dog, or so she has thought    it was only a year ago that she seemed to have changed drastically in the dominant role playing   i'm at lost as to what created the change   a friend also told me that once a dog draws blood from another., then they are worse   since taking her to the pound, which i hate, i've wanted to rescue her yet i cannot seem to bring myself to do it either    i went thru months of separating Sadie from the previous dog   i almost gave up Sadie then, but didn't   anyways, that is the story as to why she's gone   my heart is broken   i'm still angry and baffled    anyone with other insights, i welcome them....

Sadie

jasmine lays at my feet while another one of my pack is no longer here  i realize life has some really tough decisions to be made   was i so fried from work yesterday that i couldn't see other possibilities   in the midst of a fight and my anger i made a snap decision   i don't know if it was the right one, but then again i think i did   i just don't like the decision i made  maybe i made the wrong decision years ago  maybe i didn't make any wrong decision   i'm perplexed   i don't know what happened to my Sadie girl, if anything at all, where she became so vicious    i hope to have the answer some day even tho she's no longer with me  ...i hurt, i'm angry, i missed the boat somewhere when it came to her    i still don't believe i gave her up   i suppose i'll be numb for awhile   but for now she's gone...

p.s...

Good Bye Peter (Jennings)!   you will be sorely missed....God Bless You and Your family...

r u ready 4 sum football...

well it is here again   tis the season for football my favorite sport   i'm watchin' my Chicago Bears play the Miami Dolphins   i'm a little impressed with my Bears and hope last years mistakes have been corrected for the new season   i'm not totally ready for football, but it's a nice welcome back...today i was suppose to work although it was my scheduled day off    i couldn't bring myself to go in, hence realizing it's time to come off the overtime list for a little while   i work myself to tears sometimes and today was one of them   maybe this time i can adjust to a 40hr work week and live from them   that would be nice   all things considered, i always believe anything is possible   think i will set my sites on this especially while my nephew is here   he's making a small contribution and this way hopefully his presence will keep my calm in the storm   ok there isn't necessarily a storm, but the transition will be easier    yep, i'm going to step into that direction.....in the meantime, i took kyle to Tradestar Construction Svcs (temp hire) and he got a job...he quit American Eagle...we also went to the Job Corp for him to check that out   he seems very interested in doing that   it'll be good for him to get some job skills and hopefully learn how to put up with bs from people at work   i've instructed him on how to handle it and that at every job there are lazy workers    if he's as sensitive to criticism as i was at his age, he has some work to do on turning a deaf ear    but i'll keep encouraging and instructing him on how to deal with it    i know he can do it   i'll think he'll also be happier doing construction than retail   he'll find his niche...funny how now i'm a parent all of sudden, but it's not too bad   i know i can only do so much and the rest he must learn on his own   plus i'm not  a dictator of his life   just provide the best wisdom i can for him and allow him to continue to grow & learn thru his choices and experiences   i'll be there to support him anyway i can and he knows i'll give him a swift kick in the butt if i need to, lol    overall the 2 of us are doing quite well   we enjoy each other's company a lot and have a lot of fun too   so for now, his new job and a brighter future    he'll get on his feet in due time.....now for Jasmine,  she's doin well   she couldn't hang in the heat today so we didn't go for a hike   she sleeps with her dad, kyle which i'm happy about   she still hangs at my feet often   we'll be taking pics of her this week and i'll post them asap....Life is good...still