number 5

hmmm,  where to start tonite   maybe with 3:30am   my neighbor called me at this hour and asked if i was busy   i said yes and hung up on him   i don't even want to know why he called and i haven't seen him today   this is good...

now for this evening   my nephew and i went to the mall for a baseball cap   i need a new one   i don't feel like 'Life is Good' or 'Lucky 13' at the moment, my other 2 caps, sooo it was off for a new one   i wanted an American Eagle baseball cap i had seen a few weeks ago, however those were no longer available or at least not tonite   so we walked the mall  and walked the mall and ended up in Hat Zone   we were there for at least a half hour if not longer   it took me forever to decide   either another NM Lobo hat, or a Washington Huskie hat    so i browsed and browsed some more   finally i went back to the Boston Red Sox baseball cap i initially saw   small B on it and red sox emblem on the back   i liked the blue color and the fit   of course if i had noticed the price before purchasing, i'd probably had settled on one of the other two   o well, we do live only once right?

as we walked tonite, i got my nephew to open up to me   something was bugging him since i had arrived home    he didn't want to talk about it   so i let him Be    finally after several hours of no talking, i told him that if whatever is eating him keeps eating him that i would rather he talked to me    not too long after that he did open up   i would like for him to get in the habit of talking to someone when something's eating him    it doesn't have to be me, but someone    i've learned not to let things stew inside me   and i told him we could end up thinking other things about the aggravating subject and get carried away with it    anyways, it seems i told him the right thing   he's got plenty on his mind besides not having a job, which we both are positive that is soon to change   he's been angry for not having a job   he knows he has responsibilities and would like to take care of them   so last nite, i got online and looked on the online newspaper ads   found some things he could apply for today and that he did    he's been, and is, making every effort possible   he's just not being hired Yet    it'll come thru for him and i have no doubt he has learned from quitting the previous job   i just keep encouraging him and he keeps going  ....

so what does number 5 have to do with anything?   tonite i found Potter's 5th book for $10, paperback of course    all my other copies are paperback and in the near future i will buy the hardcovers for my library   then once my babies (nieces and nephews' kids) get older they can read the paperback copies    currently i'm half way thru the 3rd book and hope to complete it this weekend    ....

for now, well maybe?, we are going to watch 'The Fast and the Furious'    another  Van Diesel movie   i had no idea he was even in it    if not tonite, i'm sure we'll watch it tomorrow evening   i just looked at the time and it may be too late for the movie   my bedtime is in twenty minutes   i'm finally beginning to feel i'm unwinding from the day   all ready to curl up in bed...

there's some other news that came to me last nite, but i'm going to hold off a little while longer before revealing it    yep, i'm keeping you in suspense   i can't even give a hint or you'll figure it out   it has to do with Kyle & Nicole   ...and speaking of which   i will be taking photos of Jasmine this weekend   maybe by sunday nite i'll have her pic posted   i realized a couple days ago due to my blues i just didn't get around to it last week   she's growing and playful as ever   never a dull moment around the house   i get a lot of laughs with her   just last nite she was playing tag with Charlie chasing him as he ran up and down the house    they're a lot of fun!

have a good one....laterz

 

Salty-yuk!

i started chewing on ice this afternoon after completing my soda out on the route only to taste my very salty lips - YUK!   i didn't know i lost soooo much salt while sweating in this heat and now with some humidity   i knew i got funky, but didn't know just how BAD it was till today    o well, so is the day in the life of a postal worker   the temps have cooled down 10degrees from last month and next to the mountains where i deliver there's a nice cool breeze to enjoy as well   fall is in the air and no doubt i must move closer to the mtns if not in the mtns by next year   living on the westside of the city it's hotter, longer   anyways, my goal for this next year is to be moved in that direction by the end of next summer  ...can't wait....

now my mood is great today   the blues have gone away and i saw my doc as well, my shrink   i check in with her every 2-3months and more often if need be   mostly though i see her every few months   my meds are working good overall   when i really need her, i call    i'll see her in 3 months:-)...so with my good mood, work was easy   i like it when i feel my old self   i feel and know i can do anything and am ready to kick some butt in some way, some how   i'm full of energy and ambition, but now i have limits     limits are good tho, therefore i don't overwork myself ...

well not much going on now   i'm halfway thru Potter's 3rd book   for my birthday i'm going to buy the last 2 books   will then start collecting them in hardback covers and loan out my paperbacks to my kids (nieces kids) when they get older   ...anyways, until something exciting, or not, happens,....laterz

Chaos is good!

....and so my intuition told me this morn   i even discussed it with Rev Jennie and she agreed   this is when creativity is around   so now i perceive my life as chaotic   well my finances are anyways   and i discussed with Rev Jennie why we sabotage ourselves then feel like failure   something i already knew but thought she might shed some more light on the matter   we have a belief(s) within ourselves which keeps us setting up the same things over and over again   we first must become aware that we have a pattern  then look inside ourselves for what our beliefs are   she recommended writing them down   complete an unfinished sentence regarding the subject   allow it to flow from you  it will show itself    after discovering what we're stuck in, we then change our thoughts/beliefs regarding it by consciously working on it   so, i have some work to do   i know my financial beliefs originate in childhood   i need & want to get to the bottom of it all so i won't do this again   i deserve happiness no matter what form it comes in    i started actually workin on it a bit while driving home making some notes   this will be a good challenge   something worthwhile to work on other than work....

in the meantime, back at the ranch   Charlie is finally playing with Jasmine   she's been barking up a raucous the past few days and Charlie finally returned the favor   she didn't know how to take it at first   then he got her into a tug of war over a toy bear   he was so gentle with her    tha'ts my Charlie, my Not ferocious pitt   they've been playing ever since   as she gets bigger i figure Jimmy may play with her too   maybe Max, but Max is the oldest and really mellow   for now it's nice she has a playmate other than my feet...

knotted

i'm a bit in knots this morn   not too bad, but still...at least i woke to the fact that my Jimmy ate all his food last nite   he's been randomly eating and sparsely at that since Sadie's been gone   hopefully he's over his grieving period   they were together for 5yrs, the total time i've had them both   anyways, i'm happy he's doing better

as for me, i'm stumped    my nephew is eating and drinking me out of house & home   i think i've plenty of food only to wake up yesterday morn to all of it gone except chicken   he said he "didn't eat much" and initially he didn't   but nowadays it's like there's no tomorrow...lol    new plan on how to keep food & money available so i don't go hungry

now,  my neighbor is bugging me   i've come to learn what he thinks our relationship is and know it is NOT    he apparently thinks i'm his bank or something   every payday he comes wanting to borrow money   he literally expects me to give him some money all the time now   how this came to be i don't know   granted i had do some small projects for me and paid him   i also loaned him a 20 a couple times, BUT i never intended for him to believe as he does    he believes this because this is who he is    it's my impression he doesn't deal with life very well   he also drinks too much and i don't know how often he does his drugs   anyways, i've talked to him twice already about the money situation informing him i am Not his bank only for him to show up at my door last nite stating something about money this weekend (another payday for me)   he just doesn't get it   so my only option at the moment is to continually say NO to him until he gets it , if he ever does   all this for being neighborly  NO THANK YOU!   my nephew wants to put his foot up his a$$   i may let him one day   i've come to learn tho that there are people who for whatever reason(s) just go 'bad' in life no matter what kind of background they have   it doesn't mean they've necessarily had a bad childhood for i have seen his parents home and they are well off, not rich but well to do...anyways, i will be working on changing this relationship   it'll take awhile   it may take me moving out of here within the next 2 yrs which i still have in mind to move to my mountains or closer to them   i've been thinking about that a lot lately...anyways,  in time something will change

now for today, i'm having coffee for breakfast and some toast curled up with Potter again   then it's my nephew's job interview and coffee with Rev Jennie   finally i will tackle the house as well....

Signs

Has anyone else seen this movie?   i just saw it tonite...interesting i suppose...i'm a lover of sci-fi and keep an open mind about E.T...anyways,  this was a little different take on space aliens   not sure what to think of the movie   i didn't find it scary   it didn't really move me one way or another   i was reminded that if E.T. does exist, i don't think the general population could handle the reality, or most of it anyways  ...anyways, just my thoughts on this movie

i'm feelin better today   tomorrow is my schedule day off for this week   if i haven't mentioned it before, i always have sunday off and the other day off rotates each week  every six weeks i finally get a weekend off, if i don't work it....well i've started book 3 of Potter   i must admit i'm hooked on them   plus all the reading will help prepare me for classes coming up    good way to exercise the brain ....so for manana, kyle has an interview, i meet Rev Jennie at Starbucks, and some good old house cleaning is in the works.....until another day,  take care...have a good one!

book 2

Harry Potter and the Chambers of Secrets finished.   i completed it today allowing to nurture me during my blues this morn    it helped tremendously   once the book was done, i took a nap and it helped even more  as if i just needed to sleep off the blues   waking to a rumblin stomach , i fix some popcorn and it fills me   now i'm just waiting for kyle to clean the kitchen so i can fix dinner   ribs again tonite   real food other than burger  my nephew is a burger eating kid  he could probably live on it...i'm still in my pj's enjoying the cool breeze   today is getting better, tomorrow should be great...

monday morn

it's monday morn and i swear it gets tougher to be motivated for work   i know it's time for vacation, but i'm out of vacation leave   even knowing i only have a few months retirement does not motivate me to be there   depression is depression and it engulfs me this morn   i will get to work but when is the question  and then for a moment i think not   it will all work out this morn   maybe if i just get myself moving    in the meantime, Jasmine has been attacking my feet this morn with her very sharp teeth   little munchkin!   ....yesterday was a chillin day   other than making it to church, i sat watched 'Deep End of the Ocean', Tiger playing golf (the only time i watch golf), and some mens volleyball (another favorite sport)   then i read several chapters of Potter's second book completing half of it   my heart, my mind, my soul is ready for a new life   it hurts too much to work at the po nowadays   it's a constant battle just to be there   being late makes for a long day and the conflicting attitudes from management aggravate the situation   some like me, others hate me   o well, life goes on   not here to make everyone happy and no way anyone can do that   it's none of my business what they think of me to begin with....the morning air is cool and my nephew left the swamp cooler on all nite   i woke up freezing   so now i'll go warm up with coffee and contemplate the day...