it's tues and i should be at work it 's the day after the holiday and i had little sleep last night prolonging my wake up time this morn i screwed up i should be at work but i know things will be ok somehow someway i will say a prayer........james made it thru surgery yesterday came home that afternoon although only knowing him for a short time now, i'm am already about the ups and downs that comes with someone who has cancer it's a roller coaster ride but love will endure it all    i can endure it    i went shopping yesterday morn for one cd, dan fogelberg, only to come home with 3 cds, one of which is a double live set   and i didn't get any of dan's...lol     next time he's in surgery, i'll do something else in lieu of shopping like go to the gym     what a workout....james lives in houston tx, and i'm in abq, nm     we met online    he initiated a chat and we've been chatting ever since    my heart went out to him and i learned he desperately needed someone to confide in    to lean on   so i am that person    we've gotten a little romantically involved but we have yet to meet     we also know we may not ever get together because of the distance between us    only time will tell    i have no regrets being involved with him    he's a wonderful guy    very caring and takes care of everyone,  i mean everyone, but himself first     this is part of the man who he is    it is a part of his values which i have yet to fully understand yet    in time i will     he hopes to come visit me in december for his birthday    it'll be great to see him    i just hope he's healthy enough to make the trip    i love the guy    he's special to me    haven't met anyone like him     and with his doctorate in physics, he's constantly inventing something    working on a patent right now     he also has a 5th degree blackbelt in a martial arts (don't remember the spelling)   i'm in aw of what he has accomplished in life    some of which i have wanted to accomplish like more schooling  (it was all delayed due to my illness)    but i am perservering forward and with james presence in my life , i am inspired even more to complete some more schooling    can hardly wait to meet james in person so i can get to know him more    god willing it will happen    for now enjoy him thru online chats and telephone conversations    little things do count  .....well for now, everyone have a wonderful day and week to come    may all good things come to you for you deserve them......take care.......