to answer...

to answer Donna in TEXAS' question    first I am not a traditional spiritual seeker   i have been in New Age or New Thought for years now minus my illness time    this spiritual leader i speak of is Ramtha    now Ramtha is 'channeled' through  a woman named JZ Knight  and has been doing so for over 20yrs   going on 30yrs i think   anyways,  i recommend an open mind to the channeling   there is controversy as to whether JZ is doing the teaching or whether Ramtha, an unseen entity, is doing the teaching    i concluded many years ago that whoever was doing the teaching was not important to me   the knowledge and wisdom brought forth is too valuable to pass up    Metaphysics, New Age, New Thought and other philosophies is what works for me    if you'd like to check out Ramtha go to the following website:

www.Ramtha.com

if you have any questions or would like to further discuss my beliefs contact me at :

karebear4x4@aol.com

 

sniffles

bah humbug   i caught a cold and yuk!   i never like being sick   think i caught it tuesday nite when i was stranded on my route    i had lost the vehicle key in the dark     wearing my shorts, and no leggins, i had to stand outside in the cold waiting for someone to bring me a key    i was fine while i was moving, but once stopped it's as if the wind went right thru me    teach me to wear my leggins regardless it's in the 50s here this winter  the wind still has it's chill reminding one that it is winter   anyways, i'll survive just hope sooner than later that it goes away....

in the meantime, i found a treasure box full of books on the web today    they're actually from a spiritual teacher i studied over a dozen years ago before my illness hit    i love this teacher and feel i'm finally able to return to his teachings    so guess what i'm doing next year besides hiking?   yep, reading, reading, reading, and more reading     i look forward to soaking up all the knowledge i can besides the class at church i'll be attending    now only if my brain could be a sponge now....

Sold!

my adobe bode is sold!   as of today!   YES!    so i'll be moving sometime toward the end of january    i'm mostly packed already   i've been sleeping on my couch for about a month now     can't wait to sleep in my bed again   there's more room for me and my dogs in it   anywho,  now i must seriously look for a place to live    although i'd love a cozy little apartment, think it'd be best to find a house for rent    i will check one apartment on my postal route but i have reservations on that    it'll be Jimmy, Charlie (if i don't lose him again) and me    think my kids need a little room in a yard   Kyle wants to take Jimmy, but i'm not sure i'll let him    anyhell, i'll decide within a few days as to an apartment or a house    regardless i'll be over next to the mountains despite my continual desire to move back into the mountains   don't know what it is but my urges to be in the mountains continually resurface constantly    i'm just must ask God i suppose what's with these urges   one notion as to why is that i'm completely happy in the mountains   my spirit is high most of the time i am there   maybe it's like a drug and i need my fix often   maybe   whatever the reason(s) for these urges, i must at least go there as often as possible   hence, a new year's resolution to go on sundays at least every other week if not weekly for a few hours if not all day    so i'll see if my weekly visit there curbs my urges...

well, mr. houdini superdog Charlie Brown got loose again today   everytime he does it's like torture   i never know if he'll be back or not   i get so frustrated nowadays with him when he does this, i wonder if i should just find him another home   someone younger who can keep up with his little butt   yet as soon as i question it, i know the answer is No    are all children like Charlie Brown?   Stress you out to the max you desire to pull your hair out    anyhow, i love him dearly   he should be thankful for this  i need to take more photos of him and make a collage(sp?)   he's home now until he gets loose again   i may make him an inside dog, which he would love    this way i can guarantee he wouldn't get loose on me again    hurry up retirement then i can tie Charlie's butt to me and i'll know every minute of the day where he is   little munchkin!....

why johnny?

why Johnny Damon did you have to give up that beautiful hair and beard?..

Potter and the Half Blood Prince

well i just finished this book!   it was good, but i think i enjoyed the previous two more   i hope this book is a good prep for the final book   and i'm praying that the main character killed in this book is resurrected some how by some great magic   well i'm hopin anyways   i had guessed correctly on who would be killed off, but i was hopin' it wasn't so   so now i'm anxious for the final book, if the 7th book is the finalie   i've read the Potter books without having to wait much for reading one to the next   now i'm on the waiting list as everyone else for the next book   the suspense will kill me   but i'm sure i'll find other books in the meantime to keep my busy   i still have classes as well although i'm thinking of dropping one at the moment    not sure i will   think i just need the rest from the holidays ...

not sure what i'll be doing for Christmas actually   Kyle is supposed to be droppin by for the weekend    haven't decided on church or not, but surely will take my kids for a walk on the plateau    mainly right now i desire to get thru this week    once saturday is here and over, i can relax   well actually we all can relax....

last nite i had coffee with M    i was already home but needed to get out anyways   we met at Satellite Coffee    i hadn't heard of these places and would learn they belong to a popular cafe outlet and were created to compete with starbucks    it was a nice cozy place, but i'm in love with starbucks coffee    still a nice place and they served really nice blueberry cheesecake   great cozy place to relax and chat with a friend   i could use more of these nights out with friends.....

well now is the time to write Danny, my co-worker who's serving over in Iraq right now   he's been there a few months and i have yet to drop him a line  i kept forgetting to go back and find his address after the first attempt with no success    i pray he's doing well, yet i know from Roy, another co-worker, danny is very stressed   i'm going to do my best and send him some cigs and drink to relax if i can get it thru the mail    i think it's illegal as hell, but it will be worth it for him    Sharon and Sue depart the first of january for iraq   this will be Sharon's 3rd trip there, Sue's first    God bless them all   God bless all our troops!....off to me letter       ....

funky little toe nails

well i didn't have to work as late as i thought and class was canceled tonite...so today i'm delivering another carrier's route    i'm walk up the driveway of an elderly lady's house   she's bent over next to her car trying to pick up a bag of groceries   she appears to have osteopsoris (sp?),  may be 5' tall if that and weighs 80lbs or less    her walking cane si way ahead of her and out of reach   so anyways, i ask her if she'd like some help   her reply is "NO!", and "I can't pick up this bag"  so i drop my mail, put her mail in her grocery bag and moved it to the security gate   "your mail is in your bag"   "thank you" she says and i left     i would have stayed and offered to wait til she got into her house, but i sensed she didn't trust me   it isn't the first time a customer hasn't trusted me despite being obviously the mailwoman delivering their mail   it probably won't be the last either   it was just another reminder of how much fear some people live in, especially the elderly it seems  not that i blame them.....

anyways, further along down the route i run into an old acquaintenance of mine, Pauline   she lives on the route i delivered today but i wasn't expecting to see her   it's her week off and she was bakin cookies which she shared with me..delicious...her and i played softball years ago together   she's still coaching i think, a senior league of women   it was good to visit for a moment   she still has that Toyota truck i sold her about 15yrs ago  (that's another story and all it entailed...it was my ex-lovers' truck)   anyways, Pauline seemed rather nice today   she's usually bitchin about something for she is a perfectionist   i've stilled always liked her but sometimes we have wanted her to shut up on the ballfield.....

finally i get to the end of the route today    i discover that i'm missing some mail   i had to check and double check that my eyes were not deceiving me    i chuckled and delivered what i had    someone else put the mail together today and he forgot to pull the residual mail (magazines, newspapers, large envelopes, and a few letters that are manually sorted in the a.m.)   i chuckled for i have done the same thing at times    you're in such a routine of doing everything and during these stressful times just a moment interruption throws you out of whack   o well, the most important first class letters were delivered today....lol

now what does funky little toes have to do with any of today    my little toes' nails are just that   for awhile the toe nails have been growing and falling off when i go to trim them   the whole nail just falls off on both of my little toes   the only thing i can think of is possibly side affects from my meds   i'm not worried though   but they do grow back funky and will hurt if not trimmed while walking my 10mi route    today's route was a walker and they hurt   so it's due time to remove those funky toe nails.....but first, dinner    i'm trying something new, Jimmy Dean's breakfast skillet    if it's good, i'll pick more up for quick breakfasts before work   better than eatin oatmeal all the time, ok half the time   the other half is at NY Bagel   a breakfast bagel with bacon, egg, and swiss cheese on everything bagel    but these skillets should be less expensive and more food for the money   i'll let you know if they're worth it....in the meantime, take care    i'll be back when i can.... 

Good mornin'!

it's 6:30am and i've been up for an hour (which is very unusual for me)   anyways, thought i'd drop another entry and say hello again   now if i could only awaken this early every mornin nowadays    i remember the  days i could on a regular basis, but then again that was a dozen years ago before my crazy days  early morning was my favorite time of the day    maybe if i don't eat dinner as i did last nite i could rise with the sunshine   it was 8:30pm when i got home from work last nite  and looking at the dozen boxes filled with packages at work, i'd say it'll be late every nite this week   these boxes full of pkgs are about 4' deep and 6' sq ft big or more   but this is normal for this time a year    and the funny thing is, usually mail lightens up as the packages come in, but not this year   we are just as buried in mail volume as we have been all fall    fall is our heaviest leading into christmas because of catalogs and business mailings   i haven't seen it this busy like this in a few years   that indicates it's a prosperous year for most everyone   ...anyways, it'll be great once we're finished Christmas Eve   then the load is off and no stress for a couple days this year    makes me happy....

well, i've been contemplating this year, this entire year, for a bit   it's been a bit horrendous for me, but i've survived it    most of the year i've been facing my blues   i reflected that i cut back my work hours in hopes to experience my blues less   i've given up money and created a mess of my finances in order to not be blue so often   well i've realized despite less hours and less money and all that, i struggle regardless   i struggle when i work   i struggle when i don't work   SO, i'm going back to work my 60hr work weeks   at least i'll be a little bit happier with not only my finances, but my motivation in life   yes it's enoyable and easier to deal with my blues working less hours, But,   i feel more fulfilled putting in my time at work than doing less   i'm a lot happier   i have at least some control over my life (my blues do dictate my life) and Life in general is so much better    so what am i going to do when i retire?  eventually get a job, but also become a fulltime student i think    i love being a student and i might as well do it   besides i recognized that this year alone i've read about a dozen books   i'm constantly reading and learning something   so i'll be a preppy and have a hell of a good time   i will also take as many vacations as i can afford once retired and do some backpacking and camping in the national parks ...so there's plenty to do, but right now my job fulfills me

in the meantime, i'm about to head to my least favorite store, Walmart, and get some drano   of course, it should be empty of people at this hour   this store has some awesome bargains, but there's alwyas too many people so i go only when necessary   i must keep the house clean for prospective buyers   speaking of which, i did have an offer, but it was an investor just trying to get it as cheap as possible   we turned him down   i may have another offer on the table at the moment and will know in a couple days...

o yes, before i forget, my son Kyle is doing fine   he's living with friends and working and still trying to go active duty   at least he's calmed down about going to Iraq   he's not so anxious to go there anymore, thank God    he comes over and hangs out with me from time to time   last nite he called and said he'd let me know about Charlie   i asked him what was he talking about?   he wants to takeCharlie   his roomie loves Charlie, but everyone loves Charlie   but also when i woke this morning, i remembered they will have a very hard time finding an apartment to have Charlie   i already have because most complexes are breed restricted and pitt bulls are included on that   we'll see what happens   i have to think about it some more    the guys would be good for charlie, but....i'd be worried about charlie getting loose and ending up in the pound....   anyways, that's about the news for now    Life is good no matter how bleak it seems at times    it's nice to be back online....i'll cya soon!

Remember Me?

Hi everyone.....my computer crashed and i just got it back today....i'm just droppin in for a moment   o yeah, the computer   i had to order a new part and that's why it took so long...anyways, life is hectic right now with the holidays as you may know   and it's always very stressful at the p.o. during this month  ...anyways, a tidbit of an update    first, last week i got the confirmation that i do NOT have cancer   they did two biopsies, but fortunately found nothing....my Bible Wisdom class is almost over, but in the meantime i began another class, A Course in Miracles....other than work, i've been trying to sell my house and reading books    i finally got back to Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix and finished it a couple weeks ago   i'm now on the 6th Potter book   i also read a couple other books:  Everyday Grace by Marianne Williamson, and The Camino by Shirley Maclaine  i also finally got around to see the 4th Potter movie which was well done and thoroughly enjoyed....not much really goin on nowadays...i may not return to this journal til next year after all the holidays are over and i'm hopefully moved to the eastside of town   i'll keep you posted as much as possible....in the meantime, i wish everyone Happy Holidays and may you be blessed with all the joy you can have.....