hi all

well,  it's been a few days    i've been lazy and contemplating   i think too much sometimes   like today   i got started and it wouldn't stop today    so i'm taking a time out writing this journal    monday, i did my homework for Bible Wisdom class   it was awesome!   we're studying Jesus' teachings and the parables he taught    i learned sooo much from just one parable   i had no idea they had so much depth to them   such simple words and not a whole lot of them giving such understanding     i can hardly wait to read next week's assignment   this class is just what i desired to learn and more   ....in the meantime, i bought another book the other day, Real Love, by Greg Baer, M.D.   i know, i was reading Potter, however i put it down due to class    i've been barely able to squeeze my assignments in, let alone Potter   but after last nite's class, i recognized i don't need to worry   over half the class showed up without reading the assignment   so now, i'll set aside sundays to take care of Bible Wisdom studies    so, the other days, i'm going to read Real Love before returning to Potter   it's a book about unconditional love & fulfilling relationships    I am ready for a relationship with someone, but i still much to learn about them, or so i think anyways   i haven't been successful in previous relationships, but i was young and dumb too   regardless, i always desire to learn more of life and improve myself if nothing else   i've read a few pages already on this book and like it thus far    plus this book is not as thick as Potter #5    i'll let you know anything interesting in the book should it show itself .....now, back at the ranch (my house),   i came home tonite to just the dogs   kyle is at a friends and will be for the nite   when i came home, a new perspective hit me regarding kyle-he's being a irresponsible kid too    he's a good kid, a sweetheart, but i'm thinking by him living with me he's not growing up more   instead, i think this is continuing his teenage years (this came to light in seeing the disarray of my house this evening)   anyways, i've already briefly mention the thought of setting him up in an apartment if i move to the mtns   having this realization indicates to me i probably should    he works manana and i don't   i go see another place in the mtns to rent which is smaller than my 954sq ft now    i love my nephew dearly   he is a joy to have around, but....i need to do what's best for me...and him....i had prayed for guidance and clarity today   this does give me some clarity tonite   i'll keep my eyes and ears open for more clarity to come.......well, one more thing   GO WHITE SOX!!!   my Red Sox loss, so i'm supporting the black & white!

I Am There

                                                I Am There

                                Written by James Dillet Freeman

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                                               Do you need Me?

                                                     I am there.

                      You cannot see Me, yet I am the light you see by.

                   You cannot hear Me, yet I speak through your voice.

             You cannot feel Me, yet I am the power at work in your hands.

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                   I am at work, though you do not understand My ways.

                   I am at work, though you do not understand My works.

                          I am not strange visions, I am not mysteries.

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              Only in absolute stillness, beyond self, can you know Me

                      as I AM, and then but as a feeling and a faith.

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                            Yet I am here.  Yet I hear.  Yet I answer.

                                     When you need ME, I am there.

                                    Even if you deny Me, I am there.

                               Even when you feel most alone, I am there.

                                    Even in your fears, I am there.

                                    Even in your pain, I am there.

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                     I am there when you pray and when you do not pray.

                                     I am in you, and you are in Me.

                    Only in your mind can you feel separate from Me, for

                    Only in your mind are the mists of “yours” and “mine”.

               Yet only with your mind can you know Me and experience Me.

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                                   Empty your heart of empty fears.

                        When you get yourself out of the way, I am there.

                         You can of yourself do nothing, but I can do all.

                                                    And I AM in all.

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                      Though you may not see the good, good is there, for

                   I am there.  I am there because I have to be, because I AM.

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  Only in Me does the world have meaning; only out of Me does the world take form;

                             Only because of ME does the world go forward.

                             I am the law on which the movement of the stars

                                And the growth of living cells are founded.

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                     I am the love that is the law’s fulfilling.  I am assurance.

                  I am peace.  I am oneness.  I am the law that you can live by.

                       I am the love that you can cling to.  I am your assurance.

                               I am your peace.  I am ONE with you.  I am.

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                                 Though you fail to find ME, I do not fail you.

                          Though your faith in Me is unsure, My faith in you never

                               Wavers, because I know you, because I love you.

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                                               Beloved, I am there.

 

i needed this morn    to be reminded that God is there no matter what   no matter when   no matter whatever    i'm second guessing about my move to the mountains   i'd do it in a heartbeat if kyle wasn't here    maybe as i let this be for now, kyle will learn of whether he'll be deployed to iraq    but, i also recognize the advantages of living in town   so i'm torn and not sure what to do at the moment   so when there's a fork in my road and i don't know which way to travel, i wait   the answer will come to me    and i know God will show me which way....

more Balloons

ok,  these are the second set of pics from the Balloon Fiesta    imagine yourself on a field at least 2 football fields in size with probably 100,000 people and balloons on it   there are places on the field where it feels crowded whereas other places there seems to be plenty of space around you    the colors fill the sky and the balloons whoosh into air   it's sunrise, the dew is there, coffee is brewing with your choice of many food delights   along side them sit numerous of craft shops and trademark balloon fiesta items for your souvenir   cheers are heard as the balloons lift off   the kids are all excited pointing fingers here and there...and there is nothing like the Albuquerque Balloon Fiesta as you wear your jackets in the cool, brisk at times, chilli air... 

one saturday morn

i made it to the balloon fiesta this morn    what a great way to wake up!   pics coming soon...as soon as i get them loaded...

loaded finally.....these photos are to capture what the balloon fiesta is like....i have a few more for the next entry....eventually i'm getting a zoom lens that will capture the sky pics better....

hope you all enjoy!

friday morn

morning everyone!    it's been a few days since writing, but it's been my cable connection that's been out   finally it was back on yesterday    but last nite i talked with Carol & Rich on the phone   they're my second parents that live in Spokane, WA    we adopted each other 20yrs ago when i was stationed up there   i met them thru a friend and we've stayed connected ever since   it was great to talk with them    Rich isn't doing so well   he's had heart problems for years now   at the moment they can't figure out what is wrong   i'm saying a prayer for him and hope he will be fine    once retired, i'm headed up there first thing.....after talking with them, i chatted with Dona online for a bit   she sent me some jams 2 weeks ago, but i haven't received them yet    i'm calling the station this morn and see if the carrier has seen it.....

now, for the latest in my world    wednesday i check out a couple places in the mountains to live   the first was a beautiful home surrounded my trees everywhere   there is a dog pen, but it's full of trees also    it's also $50 more than i desire to pay for rent    i'll take this house only as a second choice    the other house i checked out is on 5 acres of land, has a horse corral and is a plane jane country home   square inside and out, but that's no big deal    i love the horse corral for keeping my dogs in and there's a fenced chicken coupe that i can use for charlie   she'll take the coupe out, but it is all enclosed which is perfect for keeping charlie penned in    and yes, both places have comcast cable high speed internet connection   the second place is also in my price range for rent   so, i'm putting the deposit together now and hope to move in by the first of november   say a prayer for me, k?

the autumn clouds are here and have been here ever since last week   we've even been getting some rain   the clouds are covering the city right now, but there's no forecast for rain   hopefully they'll burn off later this morn   and hopefully it won't rain the next few days of the Balloon Fiesta   i have yet to get out there   i'm going saturday morn for there is definitely rain in the forecast for sunday    i'll post pics asap

little ms jasmine is hanging out with me more often these days   she even slept with me a couple times    if kyle gets to go to iraq, she'll become my dog while he's gone yet remember him upon his return home   kyle and nicole don't want her socialized which i disagree with   so while he's gone, i'm socializing her    she's such asweetie pie    well now that she lies in my lap, i will sign off for now    i'll be on & off for awhile til i'm moved    take care  God Bless you all!

guys and duct tape

WHAT is up with you guys and duct tape?    every time i have duct tape here in the house, some guy comes along, uses it and it disappears    they don't know what they do with it and i've only seen it a few days ago   one big fat roll and you lose it    former roommates, the neighbor and now kyle %$$#@!   have you ever heard of replace it back to where you got the item?   -aaaaargh!-

well wednesday i have 3 places in the mountains to look at for rent    i've been plugging away at kyle that it would probably be best if he got a place in town   today he said he was moving with me-UGH!!!   i must make it clear he can't use my car when we move up there   there will be no commuting-me taking and picking him up at work-no sharing my car    i told him he must have his own car!   i've lived up there before and i know once i'm home up there, there's no coming down the mountain to run to the store   granted there are larger grocery stores up there, but still    once home, i stay home   it's too peaceful and quiet to do anything else, which i enjoy immensely    plus, kyle's commute back and forth to work will be an hour one way   we'll see what happens   he thinks he's going to iraq for sure   i'm trying to prepare him if that doesn't happen     right now i'm just going to focus on getting out of here   and we haven't told the neighbors   they'll find out soon enough ....i talked with Pat my realtor today   she says my repairs will only run me about $1200 which i believe includes her niece painting the interior   so at her suggestion, i started packing today    o boy, what junk and dirt i have    i thought  i kept the house pretty clean despite the dogs, however, i discovered it is still filthy despite my efforts   so i'm turning over a new leaf, or so i am going to try    once i move the dogs will stay outside ALL the time, except below freezing temps    once i find the place, i'll immediately work on dog housing and keeping it warm during the winter   i do prefer a spit shine house, although i have eased up on that since having my kids  still, they're tracking toooo much dirt in-ugh!.....what a day     kyle just left for work   i can chill for the nite and do my homework for class finally   that is what i intended for the day, then work on the house; but it didn't work out ....o well......for now, until i see you folks again....

from Ramtha

To walk alone in the forest is to walk unmolested, 

To climb the peak of a grand mountain 

And feel the wind, icy cold, strong fingers through your hair, 

And breathe impeccable breath, 

And to see valleys far, far away, 

To sit in a stream of running water forever, forever, forever, 

To place a thought on a passing leaf as it makes its way to the ocean,

To be filled in the joy of midnight,

To dance like elfin queens underneath starry midnight,

To become intoxicated with the light of the silvery moon

Waxing and waning till dawn,

To be astride a great fiery steed riding with the wind

And having its mane blowing around your chest and in your face

As you cover meadows, hills and dales,

And riding wild and free,

Of being a great seer

Who can see the invisible world dance and play,

Without harm, without violence, without misery.

To go and sit by a crackling fire,

Watching the sparks and the embers glow and hue

Like some faraway city,

To have soft slippers and good tobacco

And the smell of old books and fine leather,

 To have a pot of tea, and to sip it,

To look behind you, at the window, curtains drawn alas,

And the moment of that silence only disturbed by the cry of a night bird,

And the faintness of it is heard,

And, alas, you watch the embers,

And all that you are,

And all that you are enjoying,

The splendor of that moment impregnated with life,

Brings unsoliciited joy that is beyond understanding,

It is simple.