milk..beer..or wine?

  so, like it's saturday nite   i'm finally home work   it was one heck of a day, especially this afternoon    so these past couple weekends my boss has me in @ 10or11am working til 7 or 8pm   so i work with the mornin person and the afternoon person   well for the second weekend in a row and second day in a row, the afternoon person doesn't show up   my boss strolls in about 2 this afternoon i'm like wondering why the hell is he here   well again the afternoon person called in   so while he's busy elsewhere i'm holdin down the fort, but occasionally he does come help with the long lines   well there was another manager in the store purchasing things and offered us one of his employees for the rest of the shift  she came over really quickly   kewl i'm thinking some relief   well i soon learned that although she's been working for our company for 3weeks, she doesn't know how to use the register nor the powerball machine  O God, chapter 13   it was not a good scene for the customers and for some reason we were unusually busy today   normally our saturdays are slow, but not today   they came out of the woodworks   she seriously fumbled often with even one or two customers walking out on her in the middle of a transaction   and i was taking care of 6 customers to her 1   and i didn't know that the boss was still around   he had gone back in his office and closed the door   i couldn't leave her alone behind the counter   she was still strugglin' hours later when i got off the shift   after awhile after stressin it out for hours, i started to crack up laughing   what else was i to do   i'm still laughin   one regular customer came in and i punched in a birthday for her before she gave me her id   she's in her 60s or 70s   anyways, as she was givin me her id, she was tellin me her birthdate   i told her i punched her in younger, but i could do it all over if she wanted   we both started crackin up laughin   i was rollin into tears by that time  tears of laughter   that was the second best thing of the day    the best was an ol' friend of mine i haven't seen in like many years came into the store   she was my realtor when i lived up in the mountains over 7yrs ago    i haven't seen her since   it was great to chat for a moment and get her number    she's moved back into town right now and divorcing her husband   that's all i got in 5mins with her while waiting on her    so we'll have to go to coffee soon   she looks great   happy she's still around (and i mean that literally)    anyways, now i sit chillin debating on my choice of drink for the night   my usual is milk, but i may have to have that alcohol tonite   this afternoon was really really really hectic, but i have a smile on my face:-)!

p.s.  God bless that woman that came to help me today   she did her best!

sleepy day...

    491 by evy-and-cats

so this looks like how i feel all day today    i woke this morn after a few hours sleep   i drank my brew and finally got on with my day about noon time    but i was feelin' really tired   i packed my bags so i could go to the mountains   i then went to Applebee's for brunch only to not enjoy the steak i had   i hadn't eaten there in a very long time   so i stopped a few weeks ago for some pasta   stopped today for my steak   the food there no longer tastes as good as it used to be   it seems bland compared to previous times   so anyways, i moved on from there on to the VA   i had to pick my meds that my doc ordered for me   i ran out of refills and had to call her   so the VA was my priority today   but still after that, i was feelin real tired    so i came home   took a nap and am still lounging around   all the stress lately must have caught up with me   i've finally let go of things i've needed to   so tonite i sit watchin more tennis, although it's the first night of the NFL football season   tennis arrives intermittently   i watch it when i can   football season is just beginning with more to come...i'm ready to crawl in for another nap   and so is the day for me under the covers...

success

Success

To laugh often and much;
To win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children;
To earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends;
To appreciate beauty, to find the best in others;
To leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch or a redeemed social condition;
To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded. -Bessie Stanley (adapted; erroneously attributed to Ralph Waldo Emerson)

it is the wee hours of the morn, 2am almost, i woke from a dream that disturbed me somehow   once i opened my eyes it was clear to me as to when the bills will be paid   spring time next year   there is light at the end of the tunnel   i must keep it at my grasp  it has been there, but i've let it slip away   so anyways, i will succeed again  no doubt about it   and with those thoughts i found the above quote and the ones below   it its in the midst of the cancel trip that i sense anew again that it isn't so much the bills, but how i live my life   the way in which i react to it as well   do i dive into sulking or to i pick my ass up off the floor and forge ahead with a new perspective  a new determination  a new attitude towards money   it is the thought by which i live that creates a better life   a better reality   anyways, these quotes on this entry are  loftier perspectives for me to contemplate and embrace for the living in the moment   i like Einstein's for they provoke thought   they reflect true value   i've written them down so i may see them time to time....

Albert Einstein:

Try not to become a man of success but rather try to become a man of value.

    The ideals which have lighted me on my way and time after time given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been Truth, Goodness, and Beauty...The ordinary objects ofhuman endeavor--property, outward success, luxury--have always seemed to be contemptible.

Abraham Lincoln:

     Always bear in mind that your own resolution to succeed is more important than any other thing.

i have felt for a long time now, that success is defined individually by one's own thoughts   i know i have succeeded in life already in some ways   now is the time to succeed in a different light...

old photo...

    i was browsin' thru my old photos and found this one    i had forgotten i took this pic a few years ago on a visit to Bandelier National Park   she sure is a beauty    as i was browsin the photos i surprise myself on how some seem to look better now than when i initially took them   but that is my critical judgment of my own photos   that's why nowadays i show them to others to get a better view and opinion...

anyways, it's wednesday nite   i just finished watchin the Williams sisters play a tennis match at the US Open    their matches are really the "finals" no matter when they play   tonite was just a quarterfinal match  but they're both awesome and i think the best women tennis players nowadays regardless of their rankings   i have yet to see any other women players really top their performances.....anyways, it was a nice way to chill out and take my mind off things   today i made another decision   i decided not to take the job at the church   while chattin with Rev Jennie about it today, i remembered i'd be there 5-6days a week at the church gettin in my hours needed plus one nite for practitioner class   that's too much for me and this illness   i even talked to my therapist about and she agreed   so two decisions in two days   i know yesterday's decision is the RIGHT decision   i was hurt and disappointed about my cancelled trip, but i feel better for making the right decision   i must honor my obligations for that is honoring my word which stays in line with my integrity   there is still something for me to learn with the bills, but i'm gettin there   i've had every attitude i could think of it to embrace them, but i think i still fight like the dickens at times   in a couple weeks i'll have a counseling session with Rev Jennie to talk about   she definitely always says something i have yet to think of which gives me better perspective and a better way to embrace whatever i'm workin' on   it's all good   for now, tomorrow i'm going to the Sandia Peak, weather permiting   i'll talk to the wind and the Lord-God of my Being for some answers   i'll soak up the greenery, fresh air and sunshine refreshing my Soul while beginning anew   i'll take a hike and rejuvenate my body too   i have yet to decide on whether to take my camera, but i probably will   there is purposeful good in all life, in all things   i know i will find that purpose in my bills as well and why i keep creating them unnecessarily   this is this thing called life, an adventure to know   sometimes i accept it and embrace, other times i don't   and so is the journey here whatever we may cross  it is a blessing, no matter how hard at times it seems...

cloudy day

   ok, here's a pic of the Grand Canyon i took about 5yrs ago   didn't think i had it on my computer   it's tuesday morn, i'm fine   disappointed big time that i'm not going there right now, but i WILL get back there next year for sure   i won't take my trip to Washington state    the canyon will be my number one priority, well second to my son   i was really angry for awhile yesterday, but i slept it off   today's a new day although i cool one   the clouds hover with no sunshine peeking thru   the wind blows its cool air just enough for a light sweatshirt   ...and i was just lookin at the paper which reminded me of the State Fair arriving this weekend   maybe i'll go take photos of the horses and other animals (plus it's free parking this year)   i also remembered the Balloon Fiesta is coming soon too   i went lookin for some of my old photos but they're not on this computer and i don't have them on disk   i do remember posting them years ago, but that was my old computer which went into the trash   so i'll definitely be going out there for more photos and will take black&white too since i found my yellow filter   and in sunday's paper this week, i discovered another place in the four corners area to visit, Canyon de Chelly National Monument   so i'll go there this winter, Jan/Feb sometime, while also pursuing Mesa Verde   Four Corners is where Arizona, New Mexico, Utah & Colorado all meet   it's a beatiful area to visit    i'd go next month on my motorcycle, but every extra penny right now will go to the bill that just came in yesterday   there is light at the end of the tunnel, just have a little further ways to go   all is not lost, there are always other adventures to explore....

Love the moment. Flowers grow out of dark moments. Therefore, each moment is vital. It affects the whole. Life is a succession of such moments and to live each, is to succeed.-Corita Kent

 

i just cancelled....

i JUST cancelled my trip to the Grand Canyon   a financial wrench just hit me today   won't go into details, but i hate bills   i'd rather focus on gettin a few bills paid before i go to the canyon   plus i was really uncomfortable with George and my conditioning at the moment    i really don't think 2 months will get us into the shape we need to be   he's going to go anyways IF i can get the permit changed in his name   it's in my name   he had already found another woman to go with him yesterday   maybe i wasn't feelin' all that comfortable about going with George  nothing personal, but i kept gettin the feelin he really doesn't know how tough this trip will be    i recognized just how much i'm out of shape, and he not be as serious as we need to be for the trip wasn't helping much    anyways with this financial wrench today, i knew immediately to postpone this for sure   now i' can just get back into shape slowly but surely   i'll keep the workout during the winter as well  will shoot for the spring, april or may, to go to the canyon   plus it'll be warmer   it's already cooler than usual here right now   i'm guessing it's going to be a cold winter like last year and it came in beginning in November   anyways, it's all good   i actually feel relief   i will go somewhere soon for a nice bike ride   so much happening right now anyways   the job transition again and then practitioner class starting in another week   the class doesn't start, but there's a 3 week preview we are required to attend  i'm ready to settle into winter already i think   for now, i'll settle in front of the tv watchin tennis....until laterz...hugz

husky puppy

    Husky Puppy 1223 by Sooper-Husky

ok, i love this photo from deviantArt   but if i see anymore photos like this, i'll have to go get me a puppy....lol

anyways, it's tuesday morn   Thank Goodness!!!   yesterday was a learning day @ work   first i found out that i made time & a half for working the holiday   that was good news   good for the pocket book....then my co-worker proceeded to tell me about an incident at work between her and the graveyard crew   so i'm standing there listening to this   she went over it a few times to say the least   her and another woman almost got into a physical altercation   the other woman seemed to try and provoke her into a fight    the bottom line was the graveyard crew has been trying to push their duties onto her    this is the young woman that doesn't work much   well i also learned about the graveyard crew as well   they don't work much either   i've worked the morning shift, the evening shift   there's only about 2 of us that actually really works (and we're both ex govt employees)   the others want to stand around and chat with their friends, or each other   talk on the phone   text messages   take as many cigarette breaks as possible  and whatever else so as not to be working   so i'm listening to my co-worker and i almost crack up laughin   it hits me this genre of workers really don't work   they don't even want to earn the money they do get and it isn't bad money   i make $8 an hour there   so i'm assuming they do too  they work 40hrs a week   it's not great money, but you can live on it    so i was enlightened about the working class and the "other" working class of people   these people have no ambition  no drive   no desire for improving their lives   or so it appears to me   i always thought that those who made less than, just didn't get a good break in life   now i know otherwise   maybe i'm being judgmental but i think i've discern here pretty fairly   i mean this job doesn't even take elbow grease to do it   granted i know not all people working for less are as these people i work with   there are those who are doin these jobs until the next step comes along   just like my burger joint got me started until i went into the military    forgive me, i just hadn't realized that there are a class of people who have no ambition   well maybe i have, just haven't seen it in a long time   actually don't think i've seen since i left the nest having family members in the same boat at that time   anyways, it's all good  it's all God   each must live their life on their own terms   this job has given me an opportunity to see myself in a different light   this one and the last job at the mall   people watchin' is a great way to learn about one self too   i am not in judgment really of anyone  i am not better than anyone, but i've learned about my differences that set me apart   that includes people at church as well   the last few years i've needed to learn about myself again since the illness   sometimes i haven't understood other people and it was really i needed to understand myself   it isn't that others are doin or not doin, it's just i have a different perspective on life at times and believe differently as well   that's what i meant by what sets me apart   and i'm not really separate from them   I am One with everyone   we are all just in different places in our journey in life for as many reasons as there are people   anyways, it was a good enlightening day at work   i also realized that the "politics" at church are no different than the "politics" at work   so the question is WHERE do i want to deal with the politics   i'll take church for sure   i stay centered better there and can let it flow from me much more easily..i think   here's hopin Ellen calls me today..it's a beautiful day  i'll be doin errands, working at Jen's office and taking a hike today   would LOVE to take a motorcycle ride, but too many things to do...enjoy the moment   yesterday is gone, tomorrow isn't here...there is only NOW!!