Thursday, February 10, 2005
good days at last
thursday morn before work and i have a few moments the last couple days have been great for the most part a tidbit blue, but happy over all tuesday i saw my shrink and all is well as she informed me said i'm doing very well in spite of my blues we briefly discussed my retiring early from the p. o. agreeing that it would be better if i stuck it out til full retirement i'd much rather do that anyways although it's tempting at times to give in to my blues so i will forge ahead with getting to work...........yesterday, was a good day too i decided to take the day off from work i needed sometime to figure out how to deal with my current boss, and at last i remembered a forgiving thought i can use to assist me in dealing with her she doesn't know what she's doing really, taking her stress out onto everyone else so i'm just going to forgive her for not knowing who she is many of us don't realize what were doing at times or who we are in the sense of how we affect other people's lives i know i didn't take a look at myself until my early 30s i know longer wanted to be critical of others, or myself, and began making a conscious effort in not doing so it takes time to change, but with true intent and effort , one can change from within most of us are creatures of habit and learned behavior unaware of how it all started and not knowing what, when, or where to end it it's been work to change, but it's been worth my efforts i still must work at it from time to time i'm only human just like the rest of us...............but the highlight of my day yesterday was meeting with Rev. Jennie she's our assistant minister and a practioner a practioner is one you can meet with for prayer or what we call spiritual mind treatment-which is prayer so i went to her to help formulate a prayer/treatment for my blues we had a very good session and prayer she's wonderful at the end of the session, i asked her to be my mentor i've been wanting to do so for awhile and finally the right time arrived at my door step to request it she accepted to my delight neither of us really knows what that looks like except thru other's point of view , but i told her whatever i could learn from her would be great that's all i had in mind i also know i can ask her anything which is awesome for me i'm just re-beginning my spiritual journey and have tons to learn and relearn (my illness zapped me of all but a 'little' memory about spirituality and God) with her experience and guidance, i know my spiritual journey will be much more rewarding i haven't told anyone, but i desire to become a practioner at least myself yet also i'm even thinking of the ministry as well that's a few years down the road and i will get there when it's meant to be in the meantime, i'm elated thank you God for Rev Jennie i realized a few weeks ago, she's my hero her presence, her living her life with her beliefs and convictions regarding God is an inspiration to me this is who i desire to be from within me Rev Jennie is my second hero in life, the other is Girlfriend, a co-worker who served in Iraq this last year. i've come a long way in my life, and these are new beginnings for me i'm Excited!...............God Bless You All!