Thursday, February 10, 2005

good days at last

thursday morn before work and i have a few moments   the last couple days have been great for the most part   a tidbit blue, but happy over all   tuesday i saw my shrink and all is well as she informed me   said i'm doing very well in spite of my blues   we briefly discussed my retiring early from the p. o. agreeing that it would be better if i stuck it out til full retirement   i'd much rather do that anyways although it's tempting at times to give in to my blues  so i will forge ahead with getting to work...........yesterday, was a good day too    i decided to take the day off from work    i needed sometime to figure out how to deal with my current boss, and at last i remembered a forgiving thought i can use to assist me in dealing with her    she doesn't know what she's doing really, taking her stress out onto everyone else     so i'm just going to forgive her for not knowing who she is     many of us don't realize what were doing at times or who we are in the sense of how we affect other people's lives   i know i didn't take a look at myself until my early 30s    i know longer wanted to be critical of others, or myself, and began making a conscious effort in not doing so   it takes time to change, but with true intent and effort , one can change from within    most of us are creatures of habit and learned behavior unaware of how it all started and not knowing what, when, or where to end it     it's been work to change, but it's been worth my efforts   i still must work at it from time to time    i'm only human just like the rest of us...............but the highlight of my day yesterday was meeting with Rev. Jennie     she's our assistant minister and a practioner     a practioner is one you can meet with for prayer or what we call spiritual mind treatment-which is prayer    so i went to her to help formulate a prayer/treatment for my blues     we had a very good session and prayer     she's wonderful     at the end of the session, i asked her to be my mentor     i've been wanting to do so for awhile and finally the right time arrived at my door step to request it     she accepted to my delight   neither of us really knows what that looks like except thru other's point of view , but i told her whatever i could learn from her would be great    that's all i had in mind     i also know i can ask her anything  which is awesome for me    i'm just re-beginning my spiritual journey and have tons to learn and relearn  (my illness zapped me of all but a 'little' memory about spirituality and God)    with her experience and guidance, i know my spiritual journey will be much more rewarding    i haven't told anyone, but i desire to become a practioner at least myself  yet also i'm even thinking of the ministry as well     that's a few years down the road and i will get there when it's meant to be      in the meantime, i'm elated     thank you God for Rev Jennie     i realized a few weeks ago, she's my hero     her presence, her living her life with her beliefs and convictions regarding God is an inspiration to me    this is who i desire to be from within me      Rev Jennie is my second hero in life, the other is Girlfriend, a co-worker who served in Iraq this last year.     i've come a long way in my life, and these are new beginnings for me     i'm Excited!...............God Bless You All!

1 comment:

delela1 said...

New beginnings are wonderful.  And each day is a new opportunity to start...over..or anew.  The choice is yours.  :)  I'm glad to see you getting out, and that you like Ashley's journal.  It is difficult to read, but reading her words does bring hope. ~Dona