reflection

well it's friday evening just past 9  all is quiet in the house  i had the tv on for a little while but curled up to my book on dr. king  i only read for about an hour  his book moves me and really makes me think at times  tonight is one of those moments i find i can only read a little bit of his book at a time  i love the book! between last night 's events and reading his book, i sometimes wonder if i'm not caught up a bit still in the 'races' of the world  i've done my best not to do so yet the race card always haunts me    i was only 10yrs old when dr. king was killed -if i got my dates correct     i lived in a small white town in indiana just outside of the big city of indianapolis     it was all white-actually we were out in the countryside when dr. king died....anyways,  i primarily lived in this small all white town    i really didn't know much about the civil rights movement, but i would soon learn about my father's racial hatred towards blacks    my mother wasn't prejudicial, thank god!    but i was told we could not watch black people on tv while dad was home    a year or two later when desegration of schools was ongoing,  it came out that blacks were thinking of moving to our town   boy did all hell break loose regarding that     dad was not a happy man regarding the situation along with most people in the town as i gathered    fortunately or unfortunately, depending on your perspective, no blacks moved to our town    ( i don't know to this day, if any other 'color' of people have moved into that town)    anyways, i got a small taste of the racial issues from my father and the little bit of news i was allowed to watch, which wasn't much    in my young youth,   i wanted to know what was so 'wrong' with them     well consciously or unconsciously, i made a point to find out     my parents divorced and my mother moved us to the big city of indianapolis and i had my first exposure to 'black' people     well since then and all my travels throughout the states, along with having lovers of different colors (black, hispanic, white, and japanese), i've learned the wonderful colors of all people       each color has their history and rightly so    i do my best to live dr. king's dream    i'm learning he is far more than i could have ever imagined as a person     yet after last night, meeting a guy of another color, i still have more to learn about a different culture-hispanic    i've lived in new mexico for about 17yrs now and i have much more to learn from them    i've been out of touch with life for about a decade or so due to my health problem    for the past couple years i'm getting back into life     i have soooo much more to learn and even within the past 7weeks i'm already changing from within      tonight i was thinking, there is soooo much going on in the world nowadays, or it's really more complex now that i'm an adult    the issues when i was younger seemed to be not as many     now there seems to be toooo many      i'm back in church now, and with my readings with dr. king, i'm moving in a new direction.........within and outside of me