Wednesday, January 16, 2008

9 degrees

ok, i heard on the radio today that it's suppose to get down to 9 degrees tonite...brrrrr...i wonder if that's a record  i don't ever remember it getting that cold here, especially in abq   good thing i have my kids as bed warmers....anyways, alas, my time has come   i finally feel i have MY Life to do as i damn well please   as my therapist pointed out to me today, with all that i've been thru in my life (and she is the only one to know it all), i finally have my life   as recently as a couple days ago i was struggling with the idea of volunteering at the church again   i really didn't want to do it anymore other than coordinating the hike group and without knowing it i was still trying to fullfill their needs, not mine   after lunch with M yesterday, i went straight to the church and told them i couldn't do it   i no longer desired to volunteer all day at the church and then go to work in the evening, making for basically a 12hr shift for the day   it is too hard on me and the 501 Blues   finally, now i'm focused on doing what i want and need   since childhood the program has been to take care of others  i've been working on letting go of that for years, especially the last 9yrs   now finally, i'm doing it   goodness i can't tell you what that really feels like   it's new beginnings for me  i know i'll still be doing for others, but i will come first finally   i have much on my agenda   one step at a time, i will get it all done   right now i just treasure the feeling of freedom...

3 comments:

sunnyside46 said...

that's what I'm working on too.
Marti

ksquester said...

BRAVO.............you've learned to say, "No, thanks!"   Anne

jmorancoyle said...

    One step at a time.... I have no doubt though, that without volunteering at church, you will find that you will fill up the time with something else.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay