Sunday, August 27, 2006

a date?

sunday morn   the sun is shinin'   my kids are outside   i just read a fellow j-landers entry and my perspective changes    she was discussin' anger, and i reflect on my anger sumtimes having my illness    it truly has been a gift, yet sumtimes i wish it never happened   i wonder how i wood have continued to grow and change without it   lately i've been reflectin on myself of who really i am    i've missed sum parts of me that didn't get to finish developin'    now is the time to let them grow    i am a feminist and probably gay more than bi    i miss those outrageous moments with other women where we can express our 'wild' selves and anger toward men and society   this is a part that i didn't get to develop    since my last psychosis i've been tryin' to recapture my true self    only the last few months have i been able to get a glimpse of my 'wild' self    i've been jugglin still expectations of others and my true identity    and Anne's journal entry reminds me we need to be angry sumtimes at least    even before this morn, i had already decided to cut my hair a different way again, the way i used to years ago   it was more radical and rebellious    just the other niite M took my pic, i posted it on myspace.com    it appeared to be conservative for my nature   i had found a photo of my father & i from a few years back   there my hair was more reflective of my true self    so back it will go, shorter than it's now and may my wild side continue to come forward reflecting my liberal views and radical/rebellious self    i am part conservative, however, i believe in the indvidual freedom of one's expression needed for one's uniqueness and the common era of the day    i am a free spirit in sooo many ways   it comes from my heart and soul   i desire to reflect that in my image on the outside.....now what does all this have to do with a date?    a woman came lookin for me the other day at church  (she didn't know how else to reach me)   she invited me to a skit downtown   sumthin' to do about "Loose Women.."   i luv plays like this   isaw "The Vagina Monologues" awhile back   i need to do more of these skits and remember who i am   Sisterhood is powerful!   i learned this right out of leaving the nest so long ago    i miss those days sumtimes,   i just need to find them again...in time i Will!

1 comment:

ksquester said...

Great entry.   I need to stop fooling with others peoples sh*t and figure out my own!   Anne