Sunday, October 16, 2005

critical thinking

good i sit having my coffee, reading journal entries, i remember my criticism days of old    before my illness, i used to be very critical of people   the memories that returned to me were some of those moments   i think i still have some left   old memories, old attitudes have resurfaced lately    not that i'm happy about it, but i must be ok with this about me   it'll teach me to shut the !@#$$ up!   this gives me a chance to understand myself more deeply   granted i'm human and we all criticize, but sometimes i'd rather not    guess i'm trying to live like Mother Theresa at times, but frankly that's impossible i think for most of us including me   i was angry with Tjnya the other nite   this morn i'm getting a little perturbed with Val, a friend in Washington    is it i'm not accepting them totally for who they are and expecting too much ?   i will know in time   maybe i expect too much of myself and it spills over to my friends at times?   the human experience is treacherous i think, but it is also very warming, thoughtful, kind, and generous too   i just keep forgetting the latter   i desire to have faith in people again, but with my history, it's tough at moments    i was even thinking about the people at work and the crap i must put up with there   thru that difficult environment, i've learned to take care of myself, first and foremost   it's a pressure cooker job with constant criticism from management   just their style of managing   it's been this way for eons   there is no working with them   they just desire to continuously slave drive you   well i slaved for many years   i love the hard work and the production i do   now i just don't slave for them anymore   they don't like it and they can't take a jump in the lake for all i care  (btw, most of us employees at the p.o. feel this way)   so the point of all this?   am i too critical?   or is criticism just another facet of life for me to accept in the whole?   is criticism and judgment the same thing?   these questions i ponder this morn, but not for long   i'mheaded for my homework    and in my homework, i learn answers to my questions and more    this Bible Wisdom class and Jesus' parables are teaching me lots   i love it!

1 comment:

lacaza3 said...

I have been critical myself latley
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