Wednesday, November 9, 2005

nurturing nite

sitting here eatin my chilli    only because i must eat something   mostly i feel like curling up to a good book and my kids    i realized a moment ago i haven't nurtured myself lately    been too busy with the house, work and class     and when i get blue as i did last week, i definitely need to take time out and nourish my soul, my being, my spirit     kathleen, my therapist, reminded me of it this morn    she returned my call    she reminded me of what i need to do when depressed    and i told her my depression is still teaching me humility   the humility is more acceptance of my blues    i went thru stages of acceptance until total acceptance of the crazy part of me    this year i'm in the stages with my depression   God i want it to go away, yet I KNOW it won't    it will be here   the rollercoaster ride will continue   this is the unfairness of life that's been dealt to me   with last weeks episode, i've been wondering why God?    but truly my illness is a GIFT!    it has shown me what is truly in important in life   i have become more compassionate and understanding that i ever thought possible    i am reminded that despite it, i am still a loving expression of God   that God is with me always, in me, as me, is me    (this is our New Thought belief)   my blessings are many and come in various sizes, shapes, ways and however they come to me   there are not enough words to express the value of life   one day, i think my wisdom from this experience will be a tool for others with same or similar experiences    may my journey be a service to others in any small way possible   may my humbleness from this illness be a guiding light   may God Bless everyone with perfect health and happiness despite the struggles     and may each new dawn bring sunshine to your heart and all the treasures God, Life, has brought us...

1 comment:

deveil said...

God bless you too!  I've had the blues for the last few days, after reading your entry I'm feeling like I know what I'm not doing.  

in love and light
Derek