Wednesday, September 28, 2005


I Am One with God     Wherever I am, even in the busy places, I am alone in my heart with God.  God is where I am, always.  I see the outer activity of life as God in action, and I accept the inner awareness of being as the never-changing presence of the Divine.  I acknowledge this truth.      and so it is

i woke this morn after only 5hrs of sleep   very unusual   i was dreaming i couldn't connect with people, but then i became aware of my Soul   contents had been emptied  i felt a deepening within me and as though it could be deepened even more   it all felt good  really good, especially after meeting with Rev Jennie yesterday    i called on her as a Practioner  ( a practioner is our church is one who assists us with our troubles and does Spritiual Mind Treatment = prayer for us)   I knew it was time to face my hurt and pain regarding my gay life   i got stuck while unfolding it and Rev Jennie definitely assisted me in getting unstuck    as she spoke, she brought up somethings about being in the diverse life that i had not contemplated in such a very, very long time    bottom line i realized, and so did Rev Jennie, was i needed to embrace my sexuality   as Rev Jennie stated, it is a tough path to live   i've known this for about 20yrs   i realized this weekend in reawakening to my sexuality that i can no longer deny my attraction to women any more than i can deny my attraction to men    this is the way i'm wired    and so it is   so now i embrace myself with Love for who i am and my own personal expression in life   it'll take time to heal some of the pain, but it is welcomed    and besides, Rev Jennie pointed out that now i have 100% possibilities for a relationship, in lieu of 50% due to one gender attraction   i laughed and embraced this with love and joy    Rev Jennie is simply awesome    she absolutely amazes me still after 2yrs of knowing her    i am blessed to have her presence in my life   she is a God send.....thank you God for Rev Jennie

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