Friday, May 20, 2005


quietly i sit after writing my friend a letter   this is my friend who i found a few weeks ago  i talked with her on the phone yesterday    she hit a nerve, but that may have been more so due to my moodiness  it could been her confrontations   it does not matter   she says i haven't changed in all these years, yet i know otherwise  maybe it is her who hasn't changed   how can she see changes via email and telephone conversations only   so i had to write her   last nite i wrote my therapist   this morn i am relaxed, confident, serene in the moment so it was good time to write val   life is a journey   growing, changing if one so chooses  i am on my journey    i have been on the journey of life since birth  shaped like the seasons ever changing   i was a product of my childhood until i left to be my own person  although it took awhile, i am no longer like my family   that was my mission  my purpose in life for awhile  i began discovering who i was in my early 30s when i decided to live alone and leave everyone else alone  frustrated and lacking human understanding i chose metaphysics to get better acquainted with myself and life  there i grew some  then grew some more  so my illlness arrived at my door step and so it is here  i live on and with new eyes into the world  i am not my illness, it is only a part of  me   i am the seasons  the colors of the fall, the stillness of winter, the new of the spring and the sweat of the summers  Life is grand in all its wonder   heaven is here all around me not only in nature but all the people too   the fights, the politics, the laughter, the tears we all endure are all treasures to hold   if we didn't have our differences life would be a bore    maybe i have my heads in the clouds, but it has been my journey which has gotten me there.... 

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