Sunday, August 17, 2008

lazy day

  sunday eve already   i woke somewhat early this morn after gettin 2 bed after midnight   i felt good today   confident after last nite's sting   i read your comments on my entry   i had brunch then watched tv   as i lay there it came to me, that yes i am doin' something good by checkin' IDs   i am making a difference finally    no longer feelin helpless in the realm of alcohol...i had an alcoholic father who was abusive on top of it and/or because of it(a rare thing i talk about)  i left the nest with a mixed bag of feelings  one was helplessness   there was nothing i really could do for i was only a child and of course back then the cops did little to nothing about it   i've wondered all these years is there anything i can really do   well now i can in sum small way working at the convenience store  this finally makes a difference within me  the feeling that yes there is something i can do  it is like redemption for me  working out still those abusive years and the feelings i have towards those that abuse alcohol or drugs  this gives me peace of mind   from those childhood experiences also came the desire to protect others   this feelin has alwasy prevailed over the helplessness   now, after today's realization, the helplessness is gone   i'm so relieved   there is purpose for good in all things i learned   i'm now recognizing i can make a little difference in those liquor sales   as someone commented, i save lives   how that hit me today is beyond description   i was remembering the homeless man who comes in every day to buy liquor and nothing but  (there's another one too who comes in for food and coffee only)   but the drunk avoids me   he knows i'll turn him down in a heart beat and i've turned him down more than i've sold to him   for in his stupor he could walk out in the street and get hit by a car or cause another to swerve and be injured for being drunk   there was another guy last nite i too turned down for he reaked of alcohol   there have beena few others   so let me be the bitch who denies you because you've drank too much already or you don't have the right ID   it is for your protection as well as others  i probably am making a difference to your family for a moment, even if it's just a day  maybe protecting them from you...  if only our social consciousness could change so that getting wasted with alcohol or drugs is not the true "fun" in life    there's soooo much more....I AM MAKING A DIFFERENCE!!!

ok enough of my growing insights   after my realization(s), i fell asleep   i woke ready to take a hike today  i took the last 2 days off   but there came on the tv immediately a tornado warning within the vicinity   on the edge of albq and not near me, but the weather can change drastically any moment around here   it was nice and a clear blue sky, but i didn't want to chance getting caught in the storm should it decide to take a turn   not with a tornado warning   and a funnel cloud was sighted   just not goin there   i took a chance with lightnening just behind the mtns the other day, but fortunately the mtns held that rain and thunderstorms  behind the mtns anyways, i've slept a lot this afternoon   must have needed it   now i'm refreshed and energized   maybe i'll do something around the house   maybe read a book    but alas, football will be on soon too    i'll watch it sporadically while i do something else   i'm a big football fan   anxious for the season to start   if only there was more daylight hours, i'd go for that hike for the tornado storm has moved south   a new dawn is on the horizon   first thing in the morn....


ksquester said...

I grew up with a DAD like that too.  You did a wonderful thing and I know you will continue to do so.  Wouldn't it be a nice world if more people did the right thing instead of the easy thing?   Peace.    Anne

lv2trnscrb said...

you are making a difference!! that is a neat feeling; I was going to tell you on yesterday's comment that I thought it was awesome that you do ID any and all you think are underaged; we need more people like that; I can't tell you how many times my brother at the age of 16 was able to buy beer (this is years ago) because no one bothered asking him to see his ID; the few and rare that did he always had the excuse he forgot it at home and then, of course, they wouldn't sell it to him; but more sold it to him than didn't

wow, take care of yourself with that tornado warning! I know its long gone by now, but tornados, more than earthquakes scare me


midwestvintage said...

 I also had a father like that.  You do make a difference.   Love the photo of the rocks with the waves of time etched in them.


jmorancoyle said...

    I grew up in the same environment. I never looked at stopping someone from buying as making a difference. I'm the typical alcoholic's kid, I'm hate confrontation. You know thinking of some of those confrontations might have saved someone's life. The same people used to come in and fight with me day after day. About a month or two along, they gave up. If they went somewhere else and bought, I don't know. They didn't get it from me though. You're right. It was a good thing. I just didn't recognize it at the time.
P.S.: Of course there was that time the Mayor's daughter came in with a fake I.D., and I didn't recognize her. My son saw her later and told me what I did.

rdautumnsage said...

There is something called a Domino Effect. It's when someone makes a decision (no matter how small) how that single moment can change more lives than you know. How a person reacts to a decision you made, may change the course of how he reacts to the next person he sees, to how they react to the next and so on. So never underestimate the difference you make my dear friend. Your already making one in my life by being there for me. (Hugs)Indigo