$5

  ok, i keep forgettin' it's Labor Day tomorrow   here's hopin all of you have a great holiday...i work 2pm-10pm, but i'd sure like to pull out the grill and cook   running across this sign i realized i haven't pulled out my grill all summer   holy cow!!!!    well i'm going to have to make up for that soon   if not next sunday, then on my birthday    ....anyways, i'm sittin here sunday nite waitin' on Jorje to put Roury (22months) to bed   then we'll continue chattin'   her husband Mark just got activated to ship out tomorrow to Louisiana   she's hopin' his eyes will get opened and learn to appreciate what he has at home   let's hope Gustav doesn't do too much damage  and i just read 1.9million people have been evacuated from the Gulf coastal lines   also say a prayer for Marti & her family and friends @ Porch Stories will be safe in Mobile, AL   as i read, Gustav will hit in the morn, Labor Day    say a prayer for everyone in that region   and Indigo @ Raven's Lament, wrote that there's an Animal Rescue team already on the scene for the pet rescues   sounds like America is far better prepared this time than Katrina   until tomorrow....

now, the $5....i contacted Comcast to inquire on the Sports Package they have...i'm wondering if i could hook into the Chicago Bears more often this season....anyways, it's only going to cost me $5 more a month...like i need more sport options   must be n a mood for it right now....US Open Tennis is playin now...time to watch! 

Can I See?

                          

Judge of your natural character by what you do in your dreams.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

                               Can I See? by mikona46

alas, another day   i finally made it to church on sunday after taking a few months off   summer i usually take off, but i began the summer break before it was actually here    anyways, today was Rev Patrick's last service   it was a memoriable one  i cried  others cried feeling the loss of a friend   he's been there 12yrs   i've only known the past 5yrs   an inspirational speaker with lots of love in his heart   i will miss him sorely for awhile   i embraced him after the service to give my offical good-bye   then Sue his wife   she'll be missed as well   once their house sells here, they're moving back to Connecticut where Sue is from   from this point forward he has freed himself for other public speaking   so maybe we'll get him as a guest speaker sometime in the future   anyways, i cried more than i expected   actually wasn't expecting to do so at all   but i also was basking in the love i feel there when i'm there   it is a wonderful place full of people who genuinely care   it's overwhelming at times for me   tears do flow often when i attend...anyways, i saw lots of people there i know   hadn't realized until last month i think that i knew so many people, all from just volunteering or most anyways   i do know a few from classes attended    anyways i always get a warm reception   it is good for me especially since the years of my life before this church were so challenging   what a blessing it is...i did speak momentarily with Ellen, the administrator, today   she said she's callin' me this week about the job   everyone i mention it too loves the idea of me being theNight Security Angel   and they think i'm the ideal person  so i finally asked Mary today why she thought that after she iterated too   she mentioned the love i have as well as the ties to the community   i hadn't thought of that   that place does bring out the best in me just by being there   and i hadn't thought about the community ties   again i'm just realizing all those i know   anyways i'm thinking it'll be good for me and me being a practitioner one day there    the change in being surrounded by people, and very caring people, has been a major adjustment for me   i spent so many years alone   i've been a loner for awhile for different reasons and not necessarily intending to be that way   but working at the p.o., i was alone most the day every day, then i'd come home and be alone except for my dogs   then i did things alone on my own too   it was good for me though   really helped build my inner strength   the illness also contributed to that isolation at times, still does occasionally   but now i know how to manage my time better so as not to isolate myself   i still have my alone time, but i'm not isolated   there is a difference   alone time for me is necessary for my well being   words cannot really explain, it's just me.......anyways, i also saw Jesse today for a little bit   we chatted after service for awhile before we both needed to move on in our own directions   if it wasn't for his illness, i think we'd be dating by now   i've sensed a chemistry with him and i haven't sensed that with anyone for a very long time   but we both know his time is short, however long that may be   yet i am grateful for the short time we have to just hang out and be    Sandy did tell me the other nite that i'm the one he's most comfortable with   i had asked her a few questions after the last baseball game we attended to understand where he was coming from   so it was good   i'll be his buddy or companion until he's gone   as i told Sandy, i'd just like to see him enjoy himself as much as possible while he's here   she would like the same thing   so my plate is full as usual   but this is good too   sometimes since retiring i've had too much tiime on my hands   the past few months have been a good change for me   feels like i'm finally finding that balance of alone time and being with friends  FINALLY!!!!

the above photo is from deviantArt.com   i would have loved to been the photographer behind this photo   just had to share it....

saturday nite...

   a 10hr day at work today    haven't done that in awhile   i was definitely ready to leave at my scheduled time although my co-worker was going to be by herself for an hour   i went in an hour early so another co-worker wouldn't be by himself    made for a long day, but i made it thru   just don't tell my doc   it won't be a constant happening anyways   every once in awhile won't hurt....so Louise, one of my baseball buddies, called for me to attend the UNM Women's Volleyball match tonite   initially i said yes, but then i called back later and changed my mind   by 4:30 this afternoon i was beat   some how i manage to make it to 7pm my end tour for the day    i really would have liked to have gone to the volleyball match, but i was really ready to come home and just chill   put a college football game on, but i'm not even paying attention to it yet   will kick my feet up here soon and relax...the best thing that happened today was my landlord came over and put in my new kitchen garbage disposal   i bought it, he put it in    least i could do since i've been late for rent too many times   they're patient and understanding, but i will get it back on track soon   i will also do a few other things to this place all in time and once i have my finances straighten out    i absolutely hate the kitchen counters   so a few years down the road i may put in new counters and/or new cabinets as well   i foresee me living here a very long time, unless i decide to find a house to rent   but that would mean more projects i'd do which is one of the reasons i got out of home ownership   i LOVE being a home owner,but i spend ALL my money on home improvements   now living in an apartment i spend that money on road trips and adventures   more play time   i LOVE travelling too and until i win the lottery, this apartment is PERFECT for me.....anyways, a little improvement here will go a long way for me   just my kind gesture in gratitude for them being patient with me and allowing me to live here with my 2 dogs   will probably rebuild the fence outside too   that'll probably be next   i just making this place my HOME SWEET HOME!!!    anyways, that's it for tonite   i'll catch ya again soon....

at home with the news

so i' come home tonite after work to the news of John McCain's V.P. pick   so he chooses a woman   that doesn't surprise me   and that doesn't sway my vote anyways   i would have love for Obama to pick Hillary for V.P candidate, but it didn't happen    Palin doesn't represent what i stand for   most Republicans don't   i don't think Palin's nomination is a victory for women at all   she's anti-abortion   i'm pro-choice   i don't want any government telling me what i can or cannot do with my body   ...anyways, i ususally don't make political statements here  but today i chose to do so   today was a good day startin' with my hike   the wind blew my cares away before i went to work   i was so much more relaxed at work today after the hike   too bad i won't have time for another hike before work tomorrow, but i need to be in earlier and i need to water my ex-boss' lawn before i do   but earlier in means i get to leave earlier tomorrow nite  it's all good.....i did also talk to Ellen, our church administrator, today about the job i applied for   i wanted to make sure i could have at least 16-20hrs there, otherwise it wouldn't be worth me going there   she insured me that i would   George told me on the hike today that he's doin one day a week of that job, so i needed to find out how many were goin' to be on the team and how many hours i'd get   i'm confident i'll get the job   they know my work from volunteering and are probably a little bias about me   and actually Ellen did tell me she had me in mind when the job came open   so now i just need to wait it out   i didn't tell my boss at the convenience store today about it yet   i want the job in hand before i do   so anyways, all in all, Life is Good still   as my friend Anne said in comments recently, it's mentally challenging at times   she sure did hit the mark on that one!    Thanks Anne   you're a gem!

a better day

   Yesterday i dared to struggle. Today i dare to win.-Bernadette Devlin.

this morn i sit waitin' on George   i talked to him over an hour ago   we're suppose to hit the trail before i go to work, but not before gettin' coffee   i wanted to be on the trail startin' in 10mins   i have to work today   i wanted a longer hike than we've been doin'   i pray it works out, but i HATE being rushed about anything anymore   he was anxious for me to call this morn at 6am, now he's draggin ass   o well....

anyways this morn i'm feelin' better than yesterday   maybe the wine helped last nite   i finally got to bed early and fell asleep right away  ..so i found the above quote to start my day   i've been stressin' lately about the Grand Canyon trip   feelin' way out of shape and it's goin' to be real tight financially, but i'm confident we'll get there regardless   i've been workin thru my money issues  the fact that i keep gettin myself in debt needlessly   it's a pattern, but i finally got to the root of the problem deep inside me, just a couple days ago   i feel i need to find that belief(s) within, before i can truly make a change on the outside   feelin' worthless has been part of the problem   spending money to make myself feel better has been the solution   i know there are other ways to feel better   i also realized yesterday while riding my bicycle that excercise no matter how small makes me feel a whole lot better and stronger in the long haul    i'm more disciplined with my money matters and other things in my life   it's like i fell more apart since retiring and hadn't been able to pull myself back together   finally i recognize what it's going 2 take   one day at a time, one foot in front of the other, i'll get it done   it's an uphill challenge, but one i know i can defeat   i've done it before, i can do it again   and it can be turned around in a matter of a few months.....anyways, gotta run   George is finally here....have a great day!   go out to win!

what am i made of?

   Spring Thaw-Mormon Row by Nzeman

 

If you think you can, you can. And if you think you can't, you're right. also attributed to Mary Kay Ash -Henry Ford

still the same evening   i chose tennis to watch in lieu of football   although i did see a few minutes of the games, they weren't holdin my attention....but alas, i sit with a glass of wine pulling myself together   it has been a day of unworthiness or so i have felt   i swear the illness dug deep within and brought out all my fears, my insecurities, inhibitions and "i can't" attitudes   i rode my bicycle again tonite   i noticed my will power has diminished   i need to be mentally tough again   shattered to pieces by the illness, i need to continue to regain my strength, mentally and will power   sometimes it feels like a daily battle   i go strong for awhile, then i slip into depression   it is a roller coaster ride with the many ups & downs that the blues bring   right now i know i'm physically out of shape   today i learned i'm mentally out of shape too   the bicycling, the hiking and any exercise will bring back to me the strength i know i am   o it is there still, but it seems to me at the moment i am not what i used to be   it is time for discipline of myself   each day a new beginning, a new goal to achieve one step at a time....

You cannot dream yourself into a character; you must hammer and forge yourself one.-James A. Froude

attitude is everything!

 the illness it seems, erodes me, but i must fight it   i am stronger than it is....

Streets Of Philadelphia lyrics

I was bruised and battered I couldn't tell

what I felt

I was unrecognizable to myself

I saw my reflection in a window I didn't know

my own face

Oh Brother are you gonna leave me

wastin' away

On the streets of Philadelphia



I walked the avenue 'til my legs felt like stone

I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone

At night I could hear the blood in my veins

Black and whispering as the rain

On the streets of Philadelphia



Ain't no angel gonna greet me

It's just you and I my friend

My clothes don't fit me no more

I walked a thousand miles

Just to slip this skin



The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake

I can feel myself fading away

So receive me brother with your faithless kiss

Or will we leave each other alone like this

On the streets of Philadelphia

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are you ready for sum football!

  it's late afternoon   in about 30mins, football will begin   officially for the college game   still preseason for the pros    i have about 5 games to choose from tonite   which one will i choose?   doesn't matter really for i'll be busy doin' other things once play starts....

but this entry is about a new job possibility for me    it arrived on my doorstep today   i went to lunch with Marsha today   she's our Financial Coordinator at our church (Albuquerque for Spiritual Living)   somehow we got to chatting about my job and i told her i liked it EXCEPT for one thing=having SID hanging over our heads setting up sting operations    well, Marsha then proceeded to tell me about 3 job opportunities at church that just opened up   one being the Night Security Angel (or officer)   basically having someone there in the evening to assist others that are there and most importantly insure the church is securely locked up once everyone is gone   she told me the pay   the hours, the job description   soooo...after lunch i immediately went to Ellen, the church administrator and talked to her   got an application...came home filled it out....went back and turned it in   it's a perfect job for me   and my availability is ideal for the church as well   i know some of the duties already since i volunteered for a year there, over a year ago   Ellen was really happy that i applied   another friend there too was happy i applied   it'll be a great way to get back to my community there too   i know now's the time to return   they've missed me and i've missed them  (although i do need my time off from them at times)   anyways, i feel pretty damn good about it   if it wasn't for SID, i'd stay where i am   but being at the church will be even better   i also told them i'm available for the weekends and i'm flexible   anyways, i'm happy just for the opportunity   in addition to this job, there is the Adult Ed Coordinator which i may apply and do it as a volunteer  the pay is really minimal on it, $5 per student that completes a class   i'd do it just for the experience of it all   it would be good too for becoming a practitioner at church, continuing giving to my church community    i just need to make sure i don't take on more than my illness can handle   the "old" me keeps saying i can do it all   the illness keeps tellin me to slow my ass down   IT'S ALL GOOD!!!   slow allows the enjoying the present moment in time....

the dark knight

  Clown Prince of Crime -InsaneKane87

so, i finally see this movie tonite   wanted to see Heath's last picture   he performed greatly   something about the movie tho was disappointing to me, but i can't place a finger on it at the moment   it was a dark movie and i didn't care for the twisted ending  and it twisted my mood as well   i'll have to think about sum of the messages conveyed there   interesting to say the least   glad i finally got this movie out of the way   i haven't seen a movie in months   the previews caught my eye, but nothing really stood out   Keanu Reeves will be in another one in the future, but the subject matter didn't hold my attention   so although Keanu will in it, i'll skip it    hopefully i'll find a better movie soon, or another good book at least   books hold my attention better than the film industry   all is not lost   i needed to vegge tonite and that is what i did!

still no kitty

so i went and got the kitten   at the moment she sits atop my desk here   the dogs are outside and that's where they'd be if i kept her    i kept her in the crate when i brought the dogs inside   they sniffed, she swiped at them   don't think she'll ever be where she's not afraid of anything bigger than her   Vicky was tellin' me that the kittens are even afraid of a much bigger cat that hangs around her house   i sit here tryin' to figure if there's a way to keep her  IF she could ever get used to the dogs, or just not the dogs, but anything bigger than herself....anyways, Vicky just picked her up   she sure is a lovable kitten   she purred the whole time she was here when she wasn't atop my desk or entertainment center   too  much of a wild experience for her...another time, another day for a kitty.

reconsidering...

quick note   first thanks Jude & Indigo for your comments regarding cats   i'm going to reconsider gettin' the kitten tonite   i'll sleep on it   may have to convince Vicky to reconsider me having one, but it's worth a try   i have missed having a cat   it's been way toooo long....will post an update tomorrow nite

no kitty

fall is around the corner   i smell it in the air   and chili's are roastin' on every bend   the cool breeze blows our way but the heat persists   come mid October it'll finally cool down like it's really fall   but i'll enjoy the sunshine anyways......

well this evening i took Marsha over to see one of Vicky's kittens   again they're BEAUTIFUL    once we got there, Vicky informed us she wants to keep two of the three   of course our pick of the crops happened to be the one's she wanted to keep   so later i went & got the other kitty and took it to Marsha's ...the plan i was to go there first, then try it at my house...well after being at Marsha's for awhile to see how Madison would do, Marsha decided against the kitty for now   Madison's still too young really   she's being her baby self and not being very gentle with the kitty   while there i got Scooter the dog a few feet from the kitten and she didn't like him   so with that expression i decided not to even try here at my place    didn't want to traumatize the kitten again   being chased by coyotes has been enough for her   as much as i love the kitten, now is not the time   my dogs barkin' and playin' all the time would not be good for the kitten   just didn't want to take the chance   i'm a little disappointed, but maybe one day after my kids are gone on to doggie heaven   that'll be awhile, so i'll just enjoy Marsha's cats   she may get this kitten in another 6weeks or so when she's older and can handle Madison better   but it was at least worth a try right now  It's all good!  no harm done to the kitty   she's back at Vicky's now enjoying her sister and brother   i'll go visit them from time to time   babies, kittens and puppies just melt my heart...probably everyone's too    all good things come to those who wait   one day it will happen....

kittens

          so, i go to Vicky's house tonite 2 pick her up for the baseball game   she has 3 new kittens, siamese, almost identical to the above pic   they're absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!!   she rescued them in the wild while visiting Colorado   they, and 2 others, were being chased by a coyote   she managed to capture 3 of the 5   the other 2 were too wild already to capture   she couldn't even get close to them   but alas, she did capture 3   i'd love to bring one home   i haven't had a cat in like ages   not sure my Boo (rottie) likes cats though    i really need to think about it before i even attempt it   i'd bring it home in a carrier and test drive it from there    not that i need another animal, but i just fell in love with these kittens although only one of them, the male, liked to be petted    hmmmm, i'll sleep on it   i did have cats about 15yrs ago, but lost them when i moved out into the mountains   really enjoyed them then   they can be so precious and peculiar   anyways, really have to contemplate this   Boo requires enough attention as it is   not sure she needs anymore competition from another animal   Jimmy i have no doubt would be fine with the cat   he's soooo mellow   in the meantime, i wrote Marsha an email when i got home   she's been thinkin' about gettin' a kitten   maybe i'll go visit the kittens again tomorrow   it's really tempting at this moment......

anyways, Jesse, Vicky & i went to the last home game of the Isotopes   we lost by one run   there were fireworks afterwards, but we didn't stay for them   watched them as we headed to our cars   it was another fun nite with Jesse   he had his arm around my chair all nite long   not reading anything into it, but i'm keepin my eyes & ears open   he wants to go shoot pool sometime   the friends he's staying with, which i know, he says act like old people   so he wants to get out   i'll hang out with him   i'm definitely into living like you're dying and since his days are numbered, what the heck   his attitudes are good   he's fully accepted his cancer and its condition  "it is what it is"  he keeps goin' no matter what as best as he can   he's lasted a year longer than what they expected anyways  who knows, he may last another ten or so   it is truly living in the moment   his Spirit is great and he's still laughin'   so i'm grateful to get to know him a little and enjoy his presence   he's teachin' me thru all this by the way he's handling it   he is a blessing in disguise   what a gift he is to Life and me   Thank you Spirit for bringin' him into my life...amen! 

another sunny day

finally got my doggies their shots today   got to see sum old friends too, Nancy & Cheryl   Cheryl's the vet, but Nancy assists her in the shot clinic   i met these women when i first arrived in NM 20yrs ago   i haven't been in touch for a long time   Nancy lives just around the corner maybe i should go pay her a visit soon    i hadn't kept in touch for she hadn't   once she found a partner she went her own way   i was a little hurt at the time, but all has been forgiven   i was young & dumb at that time  had my own wounds to heal anyways   so maybe i'll go pay a visit  see how her & Cathy are doin'   we hugged as though no time had gone by   It's all good!   ...my kids behaved really well today too despite being soooo excited   hadn't taken them out of the house/yard in a long time because they didn't have their shots   workin @ the p.o. for 20yrs and having all the dogs i've had, i learned how people can be really weary of other dogs as well as their own dogs being aggressive towards mine   dog fights can easily flare up from the other dogs   mine are teddy bears for the most part   my rottie tho may get enticed into a fight and so i'm really protective of her   but again she did really well today    she did snap when one of the assistants insisted on petting on the hip despite me specifically telling him not to do so    she has hip dysplaxia really really bad and is very sensitive and protective there   fortunately when she snapped she got my hand slightly   no damage done but i was perturbed with the assistant   next time i'll take a muzzle just for precautions because after the assistant she wouldn't let the vet listen to her heart beat   you'd think with them working with dogs all the time, that they'd know not all dogs have an easy temperment   i learned that deliverying mail  Goodness...all's well that ends well

...in the meantime, i bought me some shoes for ridin' the bicycle   caught them on sale   was going to wear my Keen shoes, but really didn't think they were made for ridin'   haven't had tennies in a few years now   so i dropped in @ Sports Authority to see what they had   they're brown too   good for the mud once i ride the trails on the mountain   but alas, i still didn't get out on my bicycle yet since i've bought it   one darn thing or another and tonite i have the last Isotopes baseball game to go to   if i hadn't invited a friend, i think i'd skip it    but tomorrow will definitely be ridin'it   also need to go find a trail to hike for our hike group  it's going to be another busy day but thankfully i have no commitments    although i know time is an illusion, it still feels like there's not enough time...too much to do, not enough time! 

i'm gonna take that mountain

    here's a video i love  reminds me a little bit of me   i am stubborn and if i had been born out west, i'd be this young woman riding those bucking horses   Reba McEntire is also my #1 favorite female singer...i'm gonna take that mountain, except it'll be the Grand Canyon this time!  
Reba McEntire, I'm Gonna Take That Mountain Lyrics

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Artist: Reba McEntire Song: I'm Gonna Take That Mountain Album: Room to Breathe

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I’m gonna take that mountain

I was born a stubborn soul
Ain’t afraid of the great unknown
Or a winding road that’s all uphill
This is just a stumbling block
Intimidating wall of rock
If you think this broken heart will break my will

I’m gonna take that mountain
Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain’t no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain’t just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I’m gonna take that mountain

It’s overwhelming looking up
I know when it’s the challenge of -
Me against this heartache to survive
I may slip and I may fall
But even if I have to crawl
I’ll break through to the healing side

I’m gonna take that mountain
Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain’t no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain’t just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I’m gonna take that mountain

Ain’t just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it

I’m gonna take that mountain
Ain’t nothing gonna slow me down
And there ain’t no way around it
Gonna leave it level with the ground
Ain’t just gonna cross it, climb it, fight it
I’m gonna take that mountain

I was born a stubborn soul
This is a stumbling block
I’m gonna take that mountain

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Complimentary “I'm Gonna Take That Mountain” Ringtone

slow nite

God doesn't give you the people you want, he gives you the people you need, to help you, to hurt you, to leave you, to love you and to make you into the person you were meant to be.

i found the above saying from a site @ my myspace account   i think it has some merit especially when it comes to your family & friends   some truth rang within me with this...my friend Maggie & i had lunch today   she told me today that about spring of next year she'll be moving to the westside into the rental house she has there   she's downsizing and selling her current house so as to pay off the loan for another house she has in Durango, CO   it's a financial move, but goodness i was a little heart broken for she lives just around the corner from me   just knowing she's been so close has been comforting to me in the event i'd need a friend quickly  plus hanging out with her more often because she's so close   we'd gather at her place or the Waffle House near by   it's been convenient for us both   i have no doubt we'll still do plenty of lunches & dinners for she works not far from here, but to just hang out at her place & visit will be fewer and far between probably   it's Change   change is good   we all make changes within our lives for the better whatever that may be   she's preparing for retirement as i have done so myself   it won't change our relationship, it's just i'm afraid i won't get to see her as often   it'll be ok   i'll be ok   who knows, the opposite may take place   only time will know....

so tonite at the job it was a s-l-o-w friday nite   it was almost like our saturdays which are even slower    anyways, first off the guy who got arrested in the sting last week came in   i got to talk to him about it for a moment   mostly i was interested in how long did he have to sit in jail and what will the offense be on his record   he told me what exactly happened in him buying beer for the undercover cop   he sincerely thought the guy was of age and believed the cop when he said he lost his ID   anyways, he seemed not to be angry about it   maybe after a week he finally accepted his consequences   he is a real nice guy   frankly i was a bit upset that SID went after our customers  it's enough they come after us, but customers?   i can see SID's point but do they seem to me to go overboard on this   i don't know   it's hard to call on this one where the line should be drawn...anyways, later tonite we had a beer run again   they seem to be happening a lot lately or at least when the younger woman i work with once a week is on duty   she calls the cops   and when they walked in tonite, i just about had a heart attack  i swear my heart skipped a bit   last week's sting incident is still in me bones regardless i've tightened the reins  even more on IDing everyone on everything   i just don't like the threat of jail hanging over my head   i'm human and make errors at times  this i know should i mistakenly sell liquor to a minor   probably i'd just come out with a misdemeanor like the other guy, but as he said, it's going to cost him plenty money to get out of this   like i said, is SID going overboard?   i still ask myself do i really want to work there?   in time i will know....

    it's FRIDAY!   and it's my day to work  today and manana   i anxiously wait for MONDAY to have another day of r & r  although i'll get a little recreation on sunday   i love my days off where i have nowhere i "have to" be  days spent on the trails and piddlin' in freedom in the moments of time   this week has been busy, busy , busy   a few more days of it and i have my loooong weekend   ....so you enjoy yours until i can have mine...

sum things never change

I look forward confidently to the day when all who work for a living will be one with no thought to their separateness as Negroes, Jews, Italians or any other distinctions. This will be the day when we bring into full realization the American dream -- a dream yet unfulfilled. A dream of equality of opportunity, of privilege and property widely distributed; a dream of a land where men will not take necessities from the many to give luxuries to the few; a dream of a land where men will not argue that the color of a man's skin determines the content of his character; a dream of a nation where all our gifts and resources are held not for ourselves alone, but as instruments of service for the rest of humanity; the dream of a country where every man will respect the dignity and worth of the human personality.-Martin Luther King Jr.

another long day  but for the most part a relaxin' evening....lots on my mind lately...so anyways, at 5pm today, Vicky one of my baseball buddies calls and asks me to go to the ballgame with her tonite since her hubby backed out   she was going with her granddaughter Savannah   had tickets to use up, so off we went   it was a blow out game but not without an incident i'll call it   so only tickets available tonite were up in the second level   i had wanted to sit up there at least once to get the view   i got my wish   so we're enjoying the game, or at least i was, and this woman (with her son and hubby i presume) in the seats below us gets up and moves right from their seats   she then leans over to me and says something about "her not having manners" and whatever else   i had no idea what she was talking about but got the impression she was talking about Vicky   so Vicky informs me what the scoop was   Vicky had her foot on this woman's son's chair   she wasn't interfering with him, but the kid had a fit   so anyways, Vicky proceeds to tell me what else the woman said   there were sum hispanic kids to their/our left   apparently this woman used a spanish slur when talking about them   well this woman was at least part hispanic as well   God i hadn't heard a racial slur in a very long time   i'm thinkin it's the year 2008 and the racial slurs are still goin' on?   well Vicky was livid, which i don't blame her, she's hispanic too  then her granddaughter also heard the woman use the word(s) river runt or rat and wanted to know what it was   the woman was again referring to the hispanic kids next to her   God, i can't believe my ears   this stuff still goin' on in this day & age   will it ever change i ask   not in my life time i don't think    i must accept hatred will always be  in my younger days, i had hope that we as a world would evolve, but it just aint happening   sum of us will change & grow, but there will always be those who remain in their hatred   the good thing i think, the young girl being talked about didn't speak english, so she didn't understand what the woman said   (that was part of the woman's complaint)   i know there will come a time this woman will know humility and change her ways   it just may take more lifetimes to do so....

all the above ran thru my mind on the way home, among other things   i then came to humility in my mind, and i'm still figuring it out although i've experienced much of it this life   It is all good, for i wouldn't be a better person for it   i'm contemplating where ALL of this fits in this world   until a better tomorrow...bless the broken road    

loooong day

what a day!   whew   i left the house about 9:30am   just got home @ 8pm   i wasn't expecting it to take so long at the optemtrists office   i went to get an eye check up and came out with sorta bad news   i have a cataract in my left eye   the only correction that can be done is surgery   i don't even like the word surgery   granted it will be minor surgery, but it's still surgery   the doc did explain it to be a bit   i had a young doctor, but he called in a guy my age to double check   perfect 20/20 vision in the right eye   the left eye is healthy all but for the cataract   the blood vessels look good the eye looks good everything about the eye except the cataract is good    he thought it might have been caused due to trauma   i had to think a moment but i remembered way back when in my youth when a big bully (my sister's boyfriend) gave me a black eye   couldn't see out of it for 2-3days   after remembering that incident i was ready to kick some ass   i calmed down laterz   the doc did say sometimes they don't know what causes cataracts   and i saw Marsha tonite and she said the same thing and informed me of 2 people she knows our ages that have had cataract surgeries recently    well at least i now know what the blurryness has been about in the past few months   i just thought it was more aging   .....so after the doc's office, i went & bought my new bicycle w/helmet   ready to ride tomorrow....but then it was off to Marsha's   she was babysitting Madison(above photo) this evening   as soon as i walked in the gate, Madison came running and gave me a BIG  HUG   girl did that make my day   i haven't seen her in a week or so   she was really Happy to see me   we played a little then ate   she played sum more and i had some great laughs   she definitely brightened my day today...btw, she's my hiking buddy too....she's growing fast and understands everything we say to her   she turns 2 in October and i'm guessing that's when she'll start talking too   she says a few words now, but i'm anxious for her to really start talking  tonite her mother, Diana, asked where was Pooh & Eyore   Madison came right over to my watch   she knows!   she's always coming over to my watch and pointing and trying to say something   she's such a JOY  she's always a HAPPY baby too    so anyways, she put a bright spot in my day    now i'll wait patiently for them to schedule the surgery   hopefully it'll be done before we go to the Grand Canyon   ....goodness i had no idea my left eye was soooo bad until he covered the right eye  whew!   LIFE CHANGES    i'm ok really, just a little shocked   it's all good   thank goodness for progression in medical science   i wouldn't want to see like this the remainder of my life   the doc said it was my choice for the surgery or not   i didn't hestitate for the surgical option   it's enough i'm hearing impaired  i'd rather have my eye sight so i can at least see all the beauty in the world.... 

good for the soul

Climb the mountains and get their good tidings.
Nature's peace will flow into you as sunshine flows into trees.
The winds will blow their own freshness into you...
while cares will drop off like autumn leaves.-John Muir

so alas, i finally got back on the trail tonite....  no this photo isn't the trail i'm conditioning on, but i wanted it for the quote above....anyways, George came along   we only did an hour and i took a lighter backpack   i had drank an energy drink since i've been awake since 5am this morn  it kicked in on the way back & i felt i could have gone for another hour   that's good to know for i'm takin' the energy drinks on our trip just so i have that extra boost on the way back up the canyon especially   it'll take us 4-6hrs per day of trekkin' the Grand Canyon   it'll be easy going down, but the trek back up will be the biggest challenge....so anyways, i learned a little more about George tonite   i learned he's not really knowledgeable about backpacking   i did it a couple times in my 20s, but not since then   i'm not an advid backpacker, but what i do know will take us a long way   i brought George home to check out a spare backpack i have   it is clear after him trying it on, it's futile   so we'll invest in a new one for him or me   i do have one that one of us can use   anyways, our hike tonite gave me good insight on George   it is clear i'm the leader of this pack for this trip   i'll make sure we're both prepared in every way possible for this trip   right now i still need to get my wind   but that'll kick in soon, then i'll challenge my wind some more   i get my bicycle within the next couple days  that'll help   once winded, i'll stretch out the hikes even longer and i've got to take George with me   i'm an exercise nut, he isn't   that'll balance us out   anyways,i'm just happy i'm back on the trail   this made my day   and the quote above is sum reflection of what these hikes does for me   always refreshing my soul    my spirit is good at the moment   all my troubles fell off of me on the hike   now for some rest tonite   i'll probably sleep like a baby after today   that's good for i need to be up early in the morn, but not 5am again thank goodness   i used to love to get up that hour   maybe i could train myself again for that...nah, i doubt it   (p.s.   i did notice while hiking with George, i was a little more motivated for the long haul   his presence on the Grand Canyon trip will go a long way   i'm happy he's goin')

 

worried

there is a season, a time for everything   yet i have yet to know how to handle the loss of a friend   although i haven't lost him yet, and i really don't know him well, Jessie's latest cat scan revealed more cancer   he's the one i was going to buy the bicycle from   we spent a night at the baseball game together recently   it was a joy to get to know him a little better   i woke this morn @ 5am to an email of his latest news   i had to be @ work 6am   i was reminded again this afternoon to another email   the day was busy   non-stop for me although we had a slow period in customers   by the time 2pm came around, i was fried   it got very busy the last 30mins before the shift was over   i forgot to include the bank's numbers in closing the shift, then i forgot to clock out   not sure i'm a mornin' person anymore....anyways, it was good to come home and be reminded about Jessie   more important things to be concerned about    although in recent years i've accepted that we reincarnate, it still doesn't make it any easier when lives are loss for some stinking reason or another   war or illnesses   Life is ongoing, but we connect with friends and family that add to our own lives   sometimes i think our grief in loss is our individual selves still coming to terms with "death"   it truly is only the body that dies, for we have really never died nor ever will   the essence of who we are truly lives eternally   i'm still learning the ebb & flow of Life   the sun rises each new dawn, babies are born again, the flowers bud again in the spring time and nothing ever ends...i called Jessie and left a message   hopefully he'll call soon   ....please say your prayers that this will be painless as possible for him   at the moment he's in no pain   pray that his transition will be easy and full of love knowing his time on earth has been well spent and recognized....

in the meantime, i wanted to make an additional note on my son   as i laid me down to sleep last nite, i started laughing at myself   i realized i sounded like my mother when referring to my son   my mother has for years wanted me to return to Kentucky, tho New Mexico is my Home now   i KNOW my son must make his own life as he chooses and makes himself happy   and it is just as important for me to allow him to do so   it was soooo very important when i was his age to have my own life   in time he'll come home for a visit again   and he does call often   i just want to make sure i'm there for him if he needs me   for as long as i can be   and he drives me crazy sometimes when he is home   maybe the marriage will settle him down a bit   i just don't like the prospect of him returning to Iraq first of all   then not to see him before he leaves doesn't make it any easier   i love him dearly and i know he'll be fine, but worry comes with the territory ... 

growth

so, i finally get this photo in the journal here   damn aol, couldn't get into the journal and thought i'd have to skip the photo   anyways, this was one i toook @ MADrid   i needed a little fun for the moment   it hasn't been a "fun" day   i want to curse myself for not gettin' on the trail for some hikin' today   as i was leaving to go, George called (this is the guy who's going to the Grand Canyon with me)   he wanted to go hiking this evening   i said ok, call when you get back    well he called at 5pm and cancelled   i was a little perturbed   my desire had dwindled by that time, then he not showin up just didn't motivate me   plus i kept thinking about my 5am risin' time in the morn   do i dare energize myself on a hike and stay awake late or stay home & make sure i hit the sack early?   i needed to run to the store and opted out of hiking   didn't want to be rushing everything before bedtime   that only gets me wired and tonite i can't afford to be wired   i'd be worthless at work tomorrow   i ususally don't work during the week anymore, but the boss asked for my help   i believe in giving and take, so i decided to help him out   i work with my bosses so in turn if i need time off expectedly or other wise, then it's all exchanged fairly evenly...anyways, so i stayed home.....

....then i called my son   he called saturday and we chatted for about literally one minute   he said he'd call back, but never did   he's training in California for Iraq   so anyways, i asked him if he got my message about coming home before he goes to Iraq   i told him i needed to see him before he left even if it meant coming home without his wife ...my thinking is she's seen him all year and it's been over a year since i've seen him-i told him that too....well tonite he proceeds to tell me that he aint coming home without his wife  apparently she has a medical condition..which he wood not reveal...which requires him to take her to the hospital   it flared up while he's in CA and she called an ambulance he thinks..well this told me she's just got him wrapped around her finger    so i ask, have i "lost" my son   other thoughts went thru my mind as he told his&her story   so my thoughts now is i won't be seeing him before he goes   it also occured to me that when he gets back, i'm going to have to go see him wherever he is   his tour of duty in Hawaii is up once he's back from Iraq, or so it seems at the moment   so depending on how fast he moves stateside, may depend on how fast i see him   he did mention last month i think that when he comes back mid term from Iraq, him & his wife wood be coming thru here then   i'll believe it when i see it   over the past 6months or so, i've just got the impression that his wife is really dominating   granted he allows this...but Mom (me) will remain in the pic   she has issues with me already and we haven't even met   God could have anyone warned me of this stuff   you'd think i'd know from my own experience, but i've lived differently   i know it's all good   things will work out, but this is more change for me   i still love him to death, but i don't think he's listening to me anymore   God bless him!

growth

so, i finally get this photo in the journal here   damn aol, couldn't get into the journal and thought i'd have to skip the photo   anyways, this was one i toook @ MADrid   i needed a little fun for the moment   it hasn't been a "fun" day   i want to curse myself for not gettin' on the trail for some hikin' today   as i was leaving to go, George called (this is the guy who's going to the Grand Canyon with me)   he wanted to go hiking this evening   i said ok, call when you get back    well he called at 5pm and cancelled   i was a little perturbed   my desire had dwindled by that time, then he not showin up just didn't motivate me   plus i kept thinking about my 5am risin' time in the morn   do i dare energize myself on a hike and stay awake late or stay home & make sure i hit the sack early?   i needed to run to the store and opted out of hiking   didn't want to be rushing everything before bedtime   that only gets me wired and tonite i can't afford to be wired   i'd be worthless at work tomorrow   i ususally don't work during the week anymore, but the boss asked for my help   i believe in giving and take, so i decided to help him out   i work with my bosses so in turn if i need time off expectedly or other wise, then it's all exchanged fairly evenly...anyways, so i stayed home.....

....then i called my son   he called saturday and we chatted for about literally one minute   he said he'd call back, but never did   he's training in California for Iraq   so anyways, i asked him if he got my message about coming home before he goes to Iraq   i told him i needed to see him before he left even if it meant coming home without his wife ...my thinking is she's seen him all year and it's been over a year since i've seen him-i told him that too....well tonite he proceeds to tell me that he aint coming home without his wife  apparently she has a medical condition..which he wood not reveal...which requires him to take her to the hospital   it flared up while he's in CA and she called an ambulance he thinks..well this told me she's just got him wrapped around her finger    so i ask, have i "lost" my son   other thoughts went thru my mind as he told his&her story   so my thoughts now is i won't be seeing him before he goes   it also occured to me that when he gets back, i'm going to have to go see him wherever he is   his tour of duty in Hawaii is up once he's back from Iraq, or so it seems at the moment   so depending on how fast he moves stateside, may depend on how fast i see him   he did mention last month i think that when he comes back mid term from Iraq, him & his wife wood be coming thru here then   i'll believe it when i see it   over the past 6months or so, i've just got the impression that his wife is really dominating   granted he allows this...but Mom (me) will remain in the pic   she has issues with me already and we haven't even met   God could have anyone warned me of this stuff   you'd think i'd know from my own experience, but i've lived differently   i know it's all good   things will work out, but this is more change for me   i still love him to death, but i don't think he's listening to me anymore   God bless him!

easy mornin'

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.-Carl Jung

easy like sunday mornin'...and so it is here with me this monday morn   a cup of brew, watchin the Olympics in silence while listening to a little music   good for the soul     just killin' time which really doesn't exist while awaiting on the load of laundry before i head out the door for a hike today   guess i'm in a sage mood for now    i did pick up a book last nite and began to read, How to Know GOD, by Deepak Chopra   i had began it awhile back   i'm in a better perspective to read it at the moment   it is good for me to take breaks from the "spiritual" material and just Be   everything and everyone is spiritual   it is and we are not separate from The Source   and although i prefer metaphysical teachings, sometimes good ol fashion spirituality is good as well   i wanted to share another music video this morn, but the embedding was not available by request   it's Brooks & Dunn Believe   it reminds of a gospel song and the words ring true "I believe there's more to this"  or something like that   and so I know there's more to this Life than what's obvious...sometimes i think my calling is to be a minister   that remains to be seen   i love my photography as well, but the "spiritual" rocks my world too    as time unfolds, moment by moment, answers will reveal themselves and i will believe in myself completely again....

p.s.  the above photo i did take   i love black & white  it was my first love in photography falling in love with Ansel Adams   this photo was takennot so long ago   doing so i learned the newer expense of b&w=it's very costly nowadays   but from time to time, i will still do b&w via old fashion printing   i may explore converting my color digitals to black & white, but there's nothing like good ol fashion film   as i just read, b&w show the emotions in the photo more   i soooo agree   that i learned long time ago in my first photography classes   so much you can capture....     

Life is just a chance to grow a soul.-A. Powell Davies

  

lazy day

  sunday eve already   i woke somewhat early this morn after gettin 2 bed after midnight   i felt good today   confident after last nite's sting   i read your comments on my entry   i had brunch then watched tv   as i lay there it came to me, that yes i am doin' something good by checkin' IDs   i am making a difference finally    no longer feelin helpless in the realm of alcohol...i had an alcoholic father who was abusive on top of it and/or because of it(a rare thing i talk about)  i left the nest with a mixed bag of feelings  one was helplessness   there was nothing i really could do for i was only a child and of course back then the cops did little to nothing about it   i've wondered all these years is there anything i can really do   well now i can in sum small way working at the convenience store  this finally makes a difference within me  the feeling that yes there is something i can do  it is like redemption for me  working out still those abusive years and the feelings i have towards those that abuse alcohol or drugs  this gives me peace of mind   from those childhood experiences also came the desire to protect others   this feelin has alwasy prevailed over the helplessness   now, after today's realization, the helplessness is gone   i'm so relieved   there is purpose for good in all things i learned   i'm now recognizing i can make a little difference in those liquor sales   as someone commented, i save lives   how that hit me today is beyond description   i was remembering the homeless man who comes in every day to buy liquor and nothing but  (there's another one too who comes in for food and coffee only)   but the drunk avoids me   he knows i'll turn him down in a heart beat and i've turned him down more than i've sold to him   for in his stupor he could walk out in the street and get hit by a car or cause another to swerve and be injured for being drunk   there was another guy last nite i too turned down for he reaked of alcohol   there have beena few others   so let me be the bitch who denies you because you've drank too much already or you don't have the right ID   it is for your protection as well as others  i probably am making a difference to your family for a moment, even if it's just a day  maybe protecting them from you...  if only our social consciousness could change so that getting wasted with alcohol or drugs is not the true "fun" in life    there's soooo much more....I AM MAKING A DIFFERENCE!!!

ok enough of my growing insights   after my realization(s), i fell asleep   i woke ready to take a hike today  i took the last 2 days off   but there came on the tv immediately a tornado warning within the vicinity   on the edge of albq and not near me, but the weather can change drastically any moment around here   it was nice and a clear blue sky, but i didn't want to chance getting caught in the storm should it decide to take a turn   not with a tornado warning   and a funnel cloud was sighted   just not goin there   i took a chance with lightnening just behind the mtns the other day, but fortunately the mtns held that rain and thunderstorms  behind the mtns   ....so anyways, i've slept a lot this afternoon   must have needed it   now i'm refreshed and energized   maybe i'll do something around the house   maybe read a book    but alas, football will be on soon too    i'll watch it sporadically while i do something else   i'm a big football fan   anxious for the season to start   if only there was more daylight hours, i'd go for that hike for the tornado storm has moved south   a new dawn is on the horizon   first thing in the morn....

the spirit animal test

The Owl Spirit

You scored 62% Creativity, 56% Compassion, 60% Strength, and 52% Intelligence!

You are an Owl Spirit. You are very spiritual, and at wonder with the night. You think that the night is beautiful, and would prefer to be awake for it. You dream about flying, and your eyes are captivating. Owl spirits are very compassionate, and above all, creative. They are protectors of others.

 

i got this from Robin's journal, The Yellow Brick Road (see side bar)  this was an enjoyable test   if you'd like take it @ http://www.helloquizzy.com/tests/the-spirit-animal-test     this was a good reflection of me although i think there are many other traits i have   like i said..fun!   thanks Robin

 

 

 

 

 

STING!!!

so....i chose this photo...it's me atop a White Sands mound...i chose it because i feel like i JUST accomplished something tonite    i made it thru my first STING operation at the store tonite (for you new readers, a month ago i recently began working part-time @ a convenience store where we sell liquor)   so SID (Special Investigation Dept) set a sting operation at our store   they're basically out every weekend but this was my first one   SID goes around trying, and actual do so, catching people selling alcohol to minors   tonights case was actually one of our regular customers who bought liquor for a minor   these minors are actually undercover cops underage   the SID officer came to my register tonite i immediately saw her badge on her belt and she began identifying herself   my bones were immediately rattled   i started thinking omg she's here to arrest me  what minor did i sell to, i can't remember selling any liquor to anyone under age   all this racing thru my mind in a matter of a few seconds    she said O no, one of your customers bought beer for a minor and we need a refund   well that was a tidbit of relief for about a second   i was the one who sold him the alcohol, but there was no minor around when i sold it to him   anyways, i finally got introduced to SID   the lady was professional and reassuring, but me bones was RATTLED   i gave her a refund and receipt   those people hung aroud the store for hours afterwards   my co-worker called my boss who in turned talked to me   he suggested i go to the back office and sit for a few minutes   and indeed i did  it was the best thing for me at that point   after that, i came out and went back to my duties ...the young co-worker i work with once a week was doing her usual of not working except the register   i did finally calm down way before the shift was over    as i rode my bike home from work, it hit me  I PASSED!!!   i made it thru a sting    i know these people are doing their job   i remembered i always wanted to be a cop   so i'll keep that in mind while selling restricted items   sometimes i feel like such a bitch because  i usually ID everyone on everything=lottery, tobacco and especially liquor    God the looks and bitches i get for doing so   i ain't goin' 2 jail for no one.period.    if they had enforced the laws a long time ago, then people's attitude wouldn't be so bad now   well they're going to have to suck it up   i have relaxed a little with just the customers i know and see every weekend and with grandpa & granny when they come into the store   but others, they just need to get used to it   New Mexico is really bad with drunk drivers as it is   who's side are you really on?    anyways, i'm going to chill for awhile now   forgot my meds so it'll take awhile before i get to sleep   i'll enjoy my own drink for now=chocolate milk and watch more Olympics   Life is still Good!

a prayer

O my beloved God, love I you greatly,

who hath loved me,

who hath been the fire in my sword,

who hath been the blue in my mantle,

who hath been the life

when death should have plucked my bones.

O my God, it has given me strength,

when I should have been weak and failed.

O my God, it is you

who hath made me worthy,

for I am nothing without you.

And you are the one that hath showed me

silver in a bird's wings across the moon.

And it is you who hath made

the clouds like phantoms over the hills,

And it is you who let me see the evening,

and hear the musicians of the water creatures

in their nightly serenade.

It is you who allowed me

to slumber in the bough of a great tree.

O my beloved God, love I you greatly.

i needed a prayer this morn   this is my favorite of Ramtha's teachings a spiritual master who goes beyond than just inspire me.....it is a cool morn   those cool winds of fall finally arrived here over the past few days, just as i expected   deliverying the mail for 20yrs i learned the subtlies of change in the seasons, the temperature, the wind   i welcome them each in their own time, own season   each season a time for Change not just outside of me but from my journey within   Change like the seasons ..the birds sing outside my door   they're happy at the moment for i just gave them their bird seed   the last bird feeder i put up has lasted and there are no more stolen feeders   the birds rejoice each day with their food no matter what i put out   i recently bought cheaper food to see if they'd eat it   a friend recommended i mix it with the good stuff   now that i know they'll eat it, i'll mix it   should bring back the doves again   they like the good stuff better, or so it seems....anyways, there are days i'm a deep thinker and may inscribe that here  there are days i'm soul searching for myself in the midst of Life   and there are days my illness teaches me again and again of Life's purpose and joy   lately it is doing so  (for those who are new to my journal, i have a mental illness   with medication most of it is taken care of, but i still suffer from depression often   i consider it a gift  it has taught me much especially to appreciate the moment of Now and the present of the day   truly yesterday is gone and tomorrow isn't here...)   truly my life is a spiritual one not separate from anyone or anything, but living in the ongoingness of life and all it's adventures    the above prayer reflects so much of my heart and soul....there's more to come

our troops

      if you haven't heard this song, please play it    i was just reminded of Iraq and my son will be going back there soon (October) ..and i'm gettin' worried...  remember our troops  our men and women who serve us, especially those who gave their life for our freedom....

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chasing the moon...

so, i set the alarm for 6am this morn   and i only went to bed at midnight   i wanted to chase the moon this morn to see if it was sitting on the horizon   so chase i did...but no moon   so i'm thinking it must do this randomly and not just in august   unless it's september   whenever   i'll check it out each month until i capture it   i'ts soooo beautiful   it's this HUGE ball setting   it's like stuff in the movies you see   so i'm determined to capture it on film   i'll get it one day...

in the meantime, i came back home and went back to sleep for a couple hours   interrupted but feel like i got a full night's sleep   now i'm debating the trail   gotta work today   not sure i desire to take the trail only to rush home for a quick shower and off to work   plus after doing it yesterday, i was plain tuckered out   so i'm going to really think about this before i do it  (it probably ain't going to happen today).....

so at the moment while enjoying my brew, i'm contemplating the newspaper    yesterday i took my friend Marsha out to brunch @ IHOP   had a buy one get one free coupon which made it easier for me to do   she usually treats   so anyways, the Albq Journal was having a special on their paper   well i decided i'd take it for 3 months   later when i got home i'm asking myself WHY?   i barely read the news on aol, why would i read it daily via the paper   so i'm contemplating calling them to cancel and get a refund of my money   there were a couple articles in the complimentary paper yesterday that caught my interest   plus i'm thinking with the elections coming up, it'd be good to read up on the political views   so maybe i'll keep it   sometimes i thinki should keep in touch with local news, BUT....i just stay away from it mostly because it's full of turmoil and controversy most the times    i'll decide soon   it arrives in 4-5days, plenty of time to think it out....right now, i'm headed for the shower    have a blessed day!

city lights plus

ok here's the first photo i chose to enlarge from previous entry   this is soon after sunset  it not only gives a good shot of the city, but includes the Sandia Mountains that the city sits at its base   i live next to these mountains and it the trails there i hike....

...now, i'm going to go chill in front of the tv for more Olympics   i missed a little tonite while taking these photos, but that's ok   i read all about in the sports page    until tomorrow....sweet dreams!

Bear with Me

ok, she's not quite FULL, but here she is and sum with city lights   THE MOON   anyways, i finally went to that park across town   i started shooting right after sunset  i wanted to capture the full moon hanging over the city   on the westside where i took these photos..most of them anyways..the moon was further away from me than here in my back yard    i included half of the 60 photos i took   i kept shooting at different f stops just to capture the "right" lighting   some of these turned out decently   i'm pleased   couldn't really see the "pic" on the back of the camera after each shot, so i just kept shooting   this was a fun project   once done there, i came home and went out into my back yard   so a couple of the moon photos were taken there   i learned some things on this photo shoot, even a little more about my camera  i really like some of these shots   i think you can click on each photo and see it larger   try it   it might work   in the meantime, i'll transfer them over to myspace account where they'll blow them up even more and then i'll repost them one at a time here   that's how i get those really BIG photo shots i've posted here....now, i'm going to TRY and get up early in the morn to see if i can find the Harvest Moon in the morn   wish me luck..

a test...

Copy      so, this is my first video i've posted    everyone else is doing it, guess it's time i learn how to do it too....tim mcgraw   my fav male artist   ..the song includes albuquerque and sum of the scenery looks like New Mexico..enjoy...be back soon

my babies

these are my babies, Jimmy & Boo (Tabbou)   Jimmy is the BIG guy, Boo is the rottie    i haven't shown them lately but they're my best companions   anyways, so i called the vet's office to make an appointment for their shots   <i spaced it last year-duh>   so the vet's office wanted to charge me $230 for their shots   $50 each for an exam unless i came in to the shot clinic   well i said the hell with that   my vet's office is on the other side of town where i used to live   20mins to the westside  i now live on the eastside   so add gas to the $200 bill, NO WAY!!!   i called a pet supply store just down the street and they still have shot clinics  PLUS i know the veternarian who does the shots   when i lived out in the mountains she was my vet then   so i'm going to hook up with her from now on for their medical needs   VCA West Mesa Animal Hospital has gotten OUTRAGEOUS!!   get this, the dogs' shot at the clinic down the street will only cost me $80 tops or less   anyways this is GOOD   AWESOME in my book   walking your fingers thru the yellow pages saves sum money..OH YEAH BABY!!!

a little music

Martina McBride, Broken Wing Lyrics



She loved him like he was
The last man on Earth
Gave hime everything she ever had
He'd break her spirit down
Then come lovin' up to her
Give a little, then take it back

She'd tell him about her dreams
He'd just shoot 'em down
Lord he loved to make her cry
"You're crazy for believin'
You'll ever leave the ground"
He said, "Only angels know how to fly"

And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

One Sunday morning
She didn't go to church
He wondered why she didn't leave
He went up to the bedroom
Found a note by the window
With the curtains blowin' in the breeze

And with a broken wing
She still sings
She keeps an eye on the sky
With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

With a broken wing
She carries her dreams
Man you ought to see her fly

 i need a little music today   listenin' to Martina now......the above photo was taken a couple years ago  reminded me to get sum fresh air...

THE DINER

remember the movie Wild Hogs?    this is the diner in the movie   the movie was filmed here in New Mexico   this diner was built specifically for the movie   not sure what the latest is on this, but there was a litigation to get this diner open to the public   maybe one day...

anyways, there were a few scenes in the movie actually taken in MADrid   maybe after seeing these photos you can see the movie again and catch the town   i really enjoyed the movie   it was hilarious   i think there were props left over in the museum i visited here   forgot to ask on the way out   .....

anyways, it's another beautiful day for hiking   will also go get a flashlight again so i can see while taking night shots   will attempt the moon & city tonite in the forementioned park   last nite clouds rolled in making not for a good photo   will see   i'll get those photos eventually   it may take a while...

chillin'

so, i got on my old trails i usually do today   it was a struggle, but i endured an hour + a half    several momentarily stops along the way, but i' made it   i realized it's not that hot anymore, not even at 92degrees  there was a nice cool breeze blowin   it's mostly i'm out of shape   so think i'll commit myself to this daily til i'm doing better in a 2hr time span   i did take the heavy pack too, so i'm happy with my results today   next week i get the bike  my cardio will improve immensely and the trails will be easier to do....

after the hike i went to the westside to a park near my old house   this has a great view for a night shot of the city   the bad news=the park closes @ 10pm   so i won't be able to go there this fri or sat to capture the full moon, darn it    so i'll look for a place over here next to the mountains to capture the full moon   i don't get off work til 10pm or later   so, i'll have to improvise    plus if i remember correctly, this is the time for Harvest Moon, which i think it means not only harvesting, but the full moon sits on the horizon early in the morn   i'll check that out early saturday morn to see if i can capture it    i've got the tripod now   good time to test drive it   wish me luck! 

i swear this is a ghost house...this is the only house on the street that hasn't been restored in a long time   this gave me an eerie feeling when i first saw it, and it sits next to my JavaJunction.

back 2 the Olympics

   it's a beautiful morn   for once i was up early  will hit the trail here soon   ..at the moment i watch the Olympics again   starting with women's volleyball   i got in on the Cubans vs China    great volleyball match   great power play...but now playing is the USA's women's basketball game vs Mali   now i don't know about you, but i hadn't heard of the country Mali   yes i learned my geography in junior high, but has there been more countries developed since then?   probably so and i can't remember every country in the world   so now i ask where is Mali?   must get a world atlas and find out...our women are dominating them, but Mali women are giving it their heart & soul   that's one thing i've loved about the Olympics   all those athletes giving it their all   the Olympics is more about the Spirit more than anything to me   granted it's great to win the Gold or any medal, but it's just as much about those who fall short, who just miss the mark by only a few points, their Spirit regardless of the result   The Olympics represent the heart & soul in all of us...

now, in the meantime, i was reminded this morn about guitar lessons   now that i'm not going to CNM (Central New Mexico community college), i could pick up guitar lessons again   i'll wait til after the G.C. trip for every penny is going towards it at  the moment   ...Life is still Good!

signs...

most of the signs i took initially hung out on the fence at the Java Junction   i  laughed at some of them tryin' to imagine the enforcement of such rules way back when....

...anyways, today was a s-l-o-w day for me   felt really tired while workin' at Jen's office today    and today i told her, that from this point forward she is not to pay me   i have a limit of how much i can make and it appears my new boss at the convenience store wants to utilize me that one extra day a month i have   (will be working this coming tuesday)   this means i either don't help Jen out, or i just do it volunteeringly   i told her i worked soooo much more when i volunteered at our church   even when i first started working for her, i questioned as to whether to be paid for it  it's only a couple hours a week and it's really small jobs i do   important in the whole scheme of things for her, but trivial work to me   so, the job(s) situation have unfolded as they should    maybe eventually i'll not work at all, but i need something else to do with my time   until i find that, work is fine....

in the meantime, i went to REI, my favorite outdoors sporting goods store   i went to purchase a mini tripod for my camera that wood work for  my Grand Canyon trip   well lo & behold, just below that tripod was another full size tripod that is light as a feather almost   for only $7 more, i purchased it   thought the mini tripod was too short still once i fully opened it up   so i bought the full size   it was inexpensive too   granted it aint the best of the best, but it's simply awesome for backpacking and carrying around in any backpack i have in other future adventures   i wanted a tripod for the full moon photos   and the next full moon is in  a few days   we will be backpacking into the Grand Canyon on the full moon days/nights   i hope to take some great pics of the scenery with the full moon in full view   so this weekend i'll practice with my new tripod   will post the photos probably sunday   there's also a place in the city i'd like to take of the city lights at night   will see if i can still find that place in the next couple days   that wood be kewl too with the full moon at large   Goodness, great things ahead!

now, to chill out for the remainder of the evening with a little ice cream...