Thursday, June 30, 2005

can't sleep....

well i'm awake for a little while longer    needed to have a bite to eat before i can go to sleep   so i just had some toast   the way i haven't been eating a lot lately hopefully i'll lose a few pounds...anyways, i reflecting on a moment on the bus ride home tonight while laying in bed    i had a revelation   'I am success'   i rode home in my postal uniform tonight because i forgot clothes to change in case i had to ride the bus  i got a lot of stares on the way home and in one moment while a guy was staring and i was thinking, i realized i am a success story   after all i've been through my entire life, i am successful   since childhood i think i've been thinking success meant getting my degree, and it still does   but tonight what i realized in my success is i keep going no matter what the troubles, what life has handed me thru the years, in my youth, rough relationships, my illness and whatever other things i thought important   but i am successful because i endure, i don't give up, i survive and more in living life   i have perserverence, determination no matter what cards show up   my will power, courage, determination and whatever else i can't see within me that drives me to Live thru it all keeps me going   my self image all these years has been erroneous   i know i got the worthless image from childhood, but i finally see that is Not who i am at all    i am success, succeeding, successful although i may stumble at times, i may falter, i may be wrong about things and people, but for the life of me I AM!......the song, The Dance - by Garth Brooks says it all and more....

4 comments:

jmorancoyle said...

    I think you said more in that statement than all the other entries I've read from you. When you're worried about moving to the mountains, continuing with school, your car and so many other concerns, I think you need to return to this entry and reassure yourself. Because you are a success!
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/JMoranCoyle/MyWay

fitzzer said...

It's funny how sometimes it's so hard for us to see this in ourselves and then it finally dawns on us. I'm glad you did - you have so much to be proud of! ((hugs)) ~ Lori

candace636 said...

I love Garth Brooks and The Dance.....I also love The River
http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/garthbrooks/theriver.html
Candace

jolie424 said...

I used to feel successful but the last couple of days I am begining to doubt it, it made me feel better reading your entry...thanks!

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